Saturday, December 23, 2006


A song for the shadow...Soon you'll be just a memory...


Out on your own
cold and alone again
can this be what you really wanted, baby?

Blame it on me
set your guilt free
nothing can hold you back now

Now that you're gone
I feel like myself again
grieving the things I can't repair and willing

to let you blame it on me
and set your guilt free
I don't want to pull you back now love

I can't change who I am
not this time, I wont lie to keep you near me
and in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough

and you can blame it on me
just set your guilt free, honey
I don't want to pull you back now love

Nyanyian si gelandang cilik

Disaat harus merangkul semua pundak...
Menadah tetes-tetes hujan...

Meresapi bau tanah yang tersiram, dan rerumputan yang bergoyang senang...

Maka sederetan gigi terpajang...
Mengatakan, "Kami senang...Hujan datang!"

Maka bergemuruh kilat dalam dada...

Yang berjingkat ria di sela nada hujan

Biar lusuh ini terbasuh...

Biar letih ini tersisih...


Kami bernyanyi riang

Tak peduli pada hidup yang membuat kami membusuk
Tak peduli pada perut yang berkukuruyuk
Kamu hanya ingin menari bersama hujan...
Bukan, bukan menari

Tapi menangis bersama hujan

Dan kaki kaki telanjang berjingkat
Kuncir-kuncir mungil menari riang...
Sederetan gigi terpajang...

Nyanyian Si gelandang cilik

[22.Dec.2006--08.00 pm--Hutan.Basah.Yang.Rindang.di.Universitas.Indonesia]


Confession of a bride-to-be

You've decide...So no turning back
Why do you still confuse about it?
I dunno what's gonna happen next, Wed."

Everyone knows it...
Only God knows what's gonna happen next, Ann...
You've chose him..You'll be in his side forever (hopefully)

No regret, sis...And hopefully never does

I always pray for you...

So now, there's no turning back
Enjoy it, sis...
You'll no longer Ms. Anna

You'll be Mrs.Yusak

And you have to be happy for it

No turning back, sis...

Just enjoy it

For Anna

Calon pengantin yang sedang mengalami PMS (Pre Married Syndrome)


[Photo taken in June, 2006. Watching World Cup Final and making Spaghetti at Rika's house]

Mother's Day

This is a big world for me...

But for you, your world is just me

This is a hard life for me...

But for you, there's nothing hard in your life coz you have me


I often get failed to what I desire...
But for you, no word called fail to give your love and affection for me


Sering aku menyalahkanmu bila aku kesal denganmu

Tapi untukmu, tak pernah kau menyalahkanku saat aku berlaku tak pantas padamu


Aku sering berpikir kau tak pernah mengerti aku

Tapi bagimu, kau selalu mencoba sekuat tenagamu untuk mengikuti alur tingkah laku ku bahkan sampai akhir nafasmu

Sampai habis darahku tertumpah untuk membayar jasamu pun belum tuntas hutangku

Tapi bagimu, kebahagiaanku saja sudah cukup sebagai hadiahmu di masa tuamu...

I Love You Mother...

Aku sering mengucapkan itu...

Kau jarang sekali mengucapkan itu padaku

Tapi aku tahu, kata-kata cintaku bahkan tak ada setitik air bandingannya dengan bukti cintamu...

Happy Mother's Day...You're the best, as always..

from a lost daughter

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Zero madness (Made this entry at 00.00)

So it repeats
And appears in discreet
Yet unbearable...

Looking for sedateness
Using you as my witness
For a Lord knows that I'm tired
Of all this crappy riot

Always at zero...
I'm unwantedly awake
To feel this sorrow
This is ain't a fake!

Always trapped in a circle
Weakly stand in the middle
And your figure as the wall
Can't tell you how easy I am to get fall

Being unconsciously naive
For what I truly believe
That I have reach one bright shiny star
While the fact is...It's still way too far

Well, time reveals what is hiding...


My most-wanted Lists

1. Watch "Deja Vu" (Denzel Washington getooohhh...Pacar gue maen film lagi,hehehe)
2. Watch ERAGON!!!!!!! (Kudu!! Wajib!!)
3. Watch "Boo" 4. Watch Jiffest 5. Ke salon sama Anna (si calon manten muda), hair changing!! 6. Have fun go mad sama anak2 Mari_chan (Miss 'em to death!) 7. Beli jeans 8. Kenalan ma (ehm..) temennya Mirna yang super lucu itu, hehehe... (Nama masih di rahasiakan, halahh..)

Photo: Mari_chan (Click to see our site)
From left-right: Iwed, Mirna, Rika, Anna
Photo was taken at Platinum, Kelapa Gading Mall

Be grateful a bit, will ya?!

I was so shocked when I read this message sent by one of my online buddy on Friendster. And I kinda feel uncomfort to see the fact that landed on me and on him...

Here's the message:

jam 7 mlm minggu.skrg gw lg ngebayangin orang ky lo itu lagi ngapain ya di jam2 kaya gini...kadang gw mikir apa kita menghirup udara yang sama ya...

gw baru liat lg blog lo...
words of wonders.n looks of beauty,hmm wonder if you have the voice of sirens ya.but anyhow God must've spent more time on you...
dlm x men,pasukan prof charles xavier berjuang untuk dunia yg membenci mereka.cyclops punya cahaya penghancur yg keluar dr matanya,collossus bisa meliputi tubuhnya dengan besi kapanpun dia mau,dan wolverine pny tulang adamantium dan cakar yg bisa memotong apapun.mereka mutant,homo superior, dibenci karena kelainan genetik yg cenderung menghancurkan.kinda weird dont u think, cos then we have to wonder,why captain america,spiderman,and the fantastis four are considered hero by the others?i mean they have powers that similar to that of the x knp mereka ga dianggap mutant juga? hmm,slh satu misteri alam yg mgkn ga bakal bs gw temukan jawabannya.

but all aside,x men adlh grup mutant berisi orang2 keren dgn kemampuan luar biasa,anggap aja lo adalah salah satu dari para homo superior ini.entah lo ada di mutant x, x factor atw alpha lo adlh slh satu dr mereka yg pny kemampuan luar biasa dgn penampilan ma'nyus.

n then there were the morlocks,kaum mutant yg tinggal di lorong2 bwh tanah di kota new york.sama seperti x men,mereka adl homo superior dng kekuatan luar biasa.tapi satu hal yg membedakan mereka dgn mutant2 di atas sana adl mereka buruk rupa,perubahan genetis mereka mengubah penampilan mereka mnjd sosok2 yg menakutkan.bkn hny di benci manusia,mereka bahkan dijauhi oleh mutant lainnya.hence,they look upon the world with hate.udah kebayang kan seperti apa kaum morlock itu.nah anggap aja gw ini adl salah satu dari kaum morlocks.

stlh paham akan siapa gw dan siapa lo,maka gw harap lo bisa ngerti knp gw mo meneriakkan kata2 ini ke lo dlm tulisan ini...

envy is my feeling when i look at your photos,knowing that i can be all that you are but then i'd look into the mirror n see the monster in eyes have seen too many darkness to live in the world you're livin in.but i do hope that someday we can meet and then you can look into my eyes and see the light that is in my heart.

ben grimm prnh bilang ke sue "u don't know what i'd give to be invisible..."dan untuk semenit dalam film itu gw ngerti dalamnya kata2 itu.i could understand it so much it hurts.i almost cried cause the bout you?do you even feel sad?does angels leave you even a second? my head's filled with questions bout my existence no one needs. i'd wonder who am i, what are my purpose, then i'd ask as loud as my heart thunders..."WHY?".questions that i'm sure you'd never thought bout .

God's given us this role.i rest my case n never ask for another.though sometimes in the morning i'd like to wake up feeling that today's gonna be a great day,not thinking what should my heart bear torture again this time.then in the nite i'd close my eyes wishing that tomorrrow brings hope to my shattered bout you?the sun must welcome you with its golden lights.n stars give you their lullaby in late's must be giving you it's very best.`

hh,how i covet for your wonderfull gifts...but all is fine i think.the world needs an optimist-like u-to give it a soul,and a realist-just like me-to keep it alive.

heh,my mutant powers arent weak.i'll persevere this world.dan mgkn nanti saat tirai panggung dunia ini udah diturunkan dan semua pemain turun dr panggung,kita bs ktemu.hopefully in a place where rivers flows underneath our feet.dan mgkn nanti saat itu kita bakal tau how we'd make the best-est friends of all.
till then... mo ngomong itu aja.tau knp?krn lo trll wonderful!!bkn pnampilan lo aja,tp isi kepala lo itu yg keterlaluan wonderfulnya.homo superior...kadang gw pikir tu kata2 bkn cm ada di komik aja.

the name's ...nevermind.bkn siapa-siapa ko.c u


One thing that makes me so sad about this message. Why can he has such a thinking? He doesn't know me thet well, he thinks my life is like a fairy-tale....I never feel pain, broken-hearted and being ignored. Ugh, for a dozen times YES YES YES, I have I have I have!!! One's life will never run smoothly...NEVER! What does he look from me? My face? Dakh...He never know how this face makes me have some (maybe lot) enemies that hate me to death!! If murder doesn't break the law maybe I'll be dead from ages ago. What else? My brain? Hahaha...He doesn't know how struggle I am to finish my study now coz I often think that my brain capacity isn't that full. There're still many space remains empty in the corner side of my brain, waiting to be filled up.

I just can tell him that he should...No, he MUST be grateful for what he has now..Everything! Coz life doesn't always go his way (And, how can you enjoy life and coloring it without facing some shit around you??)

Alhamdulillah...That's all I can say..Cheap, can be told anytime I want to my "Boss". Feel thankful for the bless, the obstacles in my life, the ordeals...the "All"


A testimonial for a bestfriend

She may is one of my best-mate
When I cry, she cries
When I laugh, she laughs
When I angry, she's angry too..

Our heart may connected very well
When I'm taken, she's also taken
When I broke up, she also broke up
When I receive many insulting words, she does too..
When my heart is numb, so does hers

Our friendship may not have the ending
When we fight, an hour later we hug
When we cry, a minute later we laugh
When we depressed, a second later we're going crazy

Our hands may hold still forever...
Stay still as my sister..
Stay still as my best friend...
Stay still as a strong-patient woman...
Stay still beside me...
Then we sing...

" Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times, and bad times
I'll be on your side forevermore
That's what friends are for"

Luv u

PS: I made this testimonial for
Sita in her Friendster page on Dec 6... She's one of my best-mate. She then replied my testimonial, and I hardly could prevent the tears for streaming down my face when I read it.

Iwed juga manusia...

Esti: Tuuu kaaan...pada ketawa. Nyesel deh gue cerita
Lucky: Loh..Ya ngga apa-apa. Daripada diem-diem aja, mending elo ngelucu
Iwed: Hahahaha...Sumpah Ti, kalo cita-cita loe ntar ngga kesampean mending loe jadi pelawak aja deh! Pasti sukses! Hihihi...
Esti: (menghentak-hentakkan kaki) Ugh...Gue cerita, bukan ngelucuuu!!!
Rani: Trus? "Jedotan pertama" kapan Ti? Ceritain dong!
Esti: OGAH!!
Iwed, Andy, Rani, Lucky: Huahahahahahaha....!!!!!!

Tiba-tiba hape gue bunyi. "1 message receive". Saat gue buka dan gue baca, lima detik kemudian isi SMS itu menyedot semua kesenangan dan tawa gue yang tersisa dari lawakan Esti. Tapi gue masih berusaha tenang waktu bales SMS dari mantan cowo gue itu. Dan gue kembali ke percakapan seru anak-anak. Kali ini merekan lagi ngakak abis-abisan dengerin cerita "Jedotan Esti" yang ketiga,

Esti: Itu reflek!!!
Andy: Dan reflek elo berlebihan!! (Sambil terus ngakak)
Esti: Enak aja! Bukaaannnn...Nih gue jelasin..
Lucky: Halah ngga perlu! Demen banget sih loe manjang-manjangin hal yang ngga penting?
Esti: Biar elo semua ngga salah pahaammm... (dengan muka melas minta dipahamin)
Lucky, Rani, Iwed, Andy: Pahaaammm!!!!
ESti: Aaahh...Sebel!!

Anak-anak ngakak lagi. Hape gue kembali berbunyi. Entah kenapa perasaan gue mulai nggak enak. Gue baca satu persatu SMS yang mulai datang bertubi-tubi itu. Detak jantung gue mulai mengencang, emosi gue mulai mendidih, dan (yang menyebalkan) mata gue mulai memanas. Esti - yang "mata batin"nya lebih cemerlang daripada mata aslinya (hehehe) - tiba-tiba berhenti ngelawak dan menatap gue,

Esti: Wed..?
Anak-anak serentak nengok ke gue. Fiuhhh...Tenang Wed, tarik nafas...
Esti: Wed?!
Iwed: Hmm?
Esti: Mantan loe kan? Ngomong apa dia?
Iwed: Nothing, hehehe...
Andy: Dia menghina-hina loe lagi?
Gue menggeleng, agak sedikit kuat. Menggeleng lebih untuk berusaha mengusir air mata yang udah mulai menggenang daripada menjawab pertanyaan Andy..
Andy: Need my shoulder? Tetep sih menurut gue dia ngga pantes di tangisin. Tapi elo juga manusia. Kalo ngga kuat ya wis..use this" Sambil nyodorin bahu kanannya.
Iwed: May I..?
Andy: As long as you want, babe..

And I cried in his shoulder. Temen-temen gue yang lain cuma diam, ngga ada yang berusaha menghibur gue karena kita seperti sudah sampai ke tingkat saling memahami yang tinggi. Mereka ngga menghibur gue dengan kata-kata sendu, kata-kata manis dan menghibur, atau mengelus pundak/kepala gue. Karena mereka tahu justru tangisan gue nggak akan reda kalo digituin. Tiba-tiba Rani dateng dengan menyodorkan teh botol,

Rani: Minum..
Esti: Kan habis makan hati Wed, musti minum teh botol sosro dulu
Anak-anak ngakak, termasuk gue (malu deh ngakak sambil nangis)
Lucky: Nih, tisu...muka loe ngga cakep lagi kalo begitu (She smiled sweetly)
Iwed: Thanks Sist..
Andy: Pake baju gue juga boleh, tapi habis itu elo yang nyuciin. Sekalian celana ma kolor-kolor gue, hehehe
Anak-anak ketawa lagi. Mood gue mulai naik lagi. Duh, love you guys..
Esti: Masih penasaran soal "Jedotan Esti" yang pertama nggak? Gue ceritain deh, gue kan baik..
Anak-anak: Aseeeekkkkk!!!!!!

Mulai lah Esti cerita pengalaman kejedotnya yang pertama (dia memang sial mulu sama barang-barang keras, selalu aja kejedot. Mulai dari meja kantin, tembok warung sampe layar komputer juga udah jadi korban jedotan kepalanya. No wonder dia jadi psycic yang agak-agak aneh gitu, hehehe... Perlahan gue juga udah mulai sadar dari trans gue & udah bisa nyimak lawakan Esti lagi. Sebenernya gue tau Esti nyeritain "aib"nya ini supaya buat gue ketawa lagi. Mereka bukan tipe temen yang melankolis atau sok care kalo temennya ada masalah, tapi tindak lanjut mereka cepet banget. Ada yang nyodorin tisu, beliin minum, nyediain bahu sampe ngebuka aib sendiri demi melihat gue tersenyum lagi.

Guys..thanks banget. Feel much much better now ^-^


Friday, December 08, 2006

Ticking Time

Drop it back from where you first take it

Leave it in the place you first come to it

Forget it in time when you first remember it

Turn around your body

In time



As time goes by

A: mazing times we had together

S: uch a lovely relationship and a lovely commitment

T: ill you changed and transformed

I: nto a King of The Damned

M: oaned you with lotsa tears

E: agered to find out what the devil of you that appeared

G: roaning... Your anger that storming

O: h God, now I could barely know you

E: ven the scent of your body and your figure was changing through

S: tepped aside from your life

B: eared all the pain and insult

Y: esterday will linger as yesterday

Walking the future

With the past in the back side

And all best friends in beside

I'm quite happy with that...


Thursday, December 07, 2006

To Be Uncontinued

You told me all that words
As smooth as the flow of the blood
You condemned me with spell
Made me feel like in hell

I Kept silent

Know that my sins are unforgiven
Know that you can never forget them
You talked to me as I was a bitch
You said that I'm a girl full of shit

I remained silent

You started to mock my mother
You said I'm no different like her
Insulted her with full of anger
Couldn't control your mouth even better

I said STOP!!

Go ahead and insult me
Hurt me as you wish to be
But never dare to touch my mother
Now you don't even better than a LOSER!!

Thank God, He has showed me the way
Loves me and answers my pray
You're not the "Mr. Right" for me
You don't even deserve me

No tears came out from these eyes
No sober appeared in this face
You're gone with no goodbye and no apologize
I'm disappeared with no waving and no trace

...And that's how it ends...


Friday, December 01, 2006

Tonjokan Kedua

Ini hari terakhir gue kerja di Pd.Gede...Pas mau pulang gw coba cari pecahan duit seratus ribu di mini market, ternyata ngga ada. Akhirnya gw coba rogoh lebih dalem kantong-kantong gw, berharap recehan yang tersisa cukup buat ongkos gw kekampus. Alhamdulillah cukup (pas banget bahkan). Tepat saat itu ada angkot ke kampung rambutan yang jadi tujuan gw, langsung dong gw naik.

Ternyata, ada satu angkot arah Cililitan yang dari terminal udah manas2in supir angkot yang gw naikin, disalip-salip sambil di pepet-pepet. Supir angkot yang gw naikin (angkot KR) akhirnya kepancing juga. Mulai deh tuh angkot KR ini ngebut niat nyalip angkot ke Cililitan (angkot CH). di dalam angkot KR cuma ada 4 penumpang + supir, gw the only girl di dalamnya dan duduk persis di sebelah supir.

Kejadian pertama angkot KR hampir aja mo nabrak Honda Civic, gw kasih peringatan pertama ke supirnya, "Bang, ngga usah kepancing lah. Nyantai aja, kalo ngga saya gamau bayar". Dia diem, melanin laju angkotnya. Tapi emang dasar nge*e tuh supir CH, masih juga manas2in supir KR. Akhirnya ni supir udah ga tahan, di kebut lagi lah angkot KR ini, suara peringatan gw akhirnya mulai meninggi krn gw udah mulai panik. Jalanan Pd.Gede itu ngga luas2 banget, dua arah pula, dan mereka dengan seenaknya ngebut sejadi-jadinya gitu

"Bang, berhenti nggak sekarang!! Kalo mau mati ngga usah bawa-bawa gw. Mati aja lu sendiri!!", supir sialan itu tetep ngga dengerin gw. Tiba-tiba ada kesempatan angkot KR ini nyalip angkot CH, angkot CH gamau kalah, tiba-tiba dari kanan di hantemin lah itu body angkot CH ke KR, sampe supir KR ini banting stir ke kiri dan naikin trotoar...

BRAKKKK!!!!!! Angkot KR yang gw tumpangin dengan SUKSESNYA nabrak tempat sampah sampe tembok tempat sampahnya retak. Gw yang duduk didepan langsung kepental maju & lutut gw kepentok pintu angkot (Alhamdulillah bukan kepala gw yang kebentur). Si supir bangs*t itu berdarah lengannya karena kebaret body mobilnya.

"BANG!! UDAH DEH NGGA USAH BANYAK GAYA KENAPA SEH!! LOE BAWA BANYAK NYAWA!! TAI BANGET LOE..!!!!" Gw udah ga bisa nahan emosi gw; antara marah besar, kesakitan plus rasa panik nyerang karena gw takut nyawa gw lagi di ujung tanduk. Sedetik gw pikir dia kapok setelah nabrak itu, ternyataaaa...engga!! Ga pake lama, dia langsung arahin stir lagi & ngebut lagi ngejar angkot CH itu. Dalam otak gw langsung berpikir, "I would do anything to make this fuckin car stop!!"

"Bang, berhenti ngga. Gw turun dulu, baru loe bisa bunuh diri sendiri"
Ngga ada tanggepan, pedal gas diteken makin keras...
"Bang, BERHENTI!!!!"
Tiba-tiba dia nengok, dengan muka yang super (Oh, shit i still remember that face!!) duper sengak!!! Seakan-akan mo bilang, "ini urusan cowo, loe cewe diem aja"
Dua detik...
Gue harus keluar dari angkot sialan ini

JEPROTTT!!!!!! Sebuah bogem mentah (dan gw yakin kekuatan gw waktu itu gede banget) mendarat dengan sukses di pelipis kiri si supir. Kaget bukan main, supir ta* itu sempet oleng, trus dia noleh ke gw. ekspresinya udah ngga sengak lagi, bahkan gw nangkep ada ekspresi takut disitu (dan kaget pastinya)...


Dengan bunyi decit yang keras banget dia ngerem angkotnya. Satu penghuni angkot KR narik nafas panjang. Akhirnya tu supir kembali ke muka sengaknya sambil nunjuk gw,
"Udah deh, keluar sana luh..BURUAN!!!"
Pengen banget..sumpah! Pengeeeen banget gw ngeludahin mukanya saat itu. Cuma gw pikir daripada urusan lama lagi&itu berarti lama lagi gw berada di angkot naas itu, akhirnya gw turunin derajat ngeludahin mukanya jadi ngeludahin celananya sambil bilang,

Again, dia kaget diludahin gitu ma gw..Tapi gw udah terlanjur keluar dari angkot dan ngebating pintu keras banget. Sedetik gw pikir dia mau turun & mencelakakan gw (dan sedetik juga tiba2 gw ngerasa takut), tapi sepertinya mengejar angkot CH itu masih lebih menarik buat dia. Akhirnya dia tetep tancep gas sambil tetep mandang gw sinis, yang dengan senang hati gw bales pake acungan jari tengah gw ke dia.

Lama gw berdiri di pinggir jalan itu; gemeteran, marah, takut, segala macem perasaan. Ya Allah...untung gw masih hidup sekarang.

Yah...lumayan puas juga gw nonjok tu supir, seperti semua emosi kekesalan dari semua masalah gw tertumpah di bogem mentah itu. It was a hard yakin tuh supir benjol selama paling sebentar 2 minggu..Dan berwarna biru, hehehehe...

Hmmm...ini tonjokan kedua gw untuk cowo selama hidup gw. Yang pertama? Waktu kelas 2 SMP gw nonjok senior gw karena dia dengan kurang ajarnya nyolek pantat gw pas gw lewat depan kelasnya. And it felt damn amazing!! Kadang2 cowo emang harus digituin supaya ngga selalu mandang rendah cewe... ;)

- Goddess -

Accidental Twins

Accidental twins

Hari rabu kemarin pulang ngantor gw langsung kekampus. Sampe kampus, ketemu Andy trus ke Takor bareng mau ngopi, trus langsung salat magrib. Pas on the way ke kelas gw ngelewatin mushola, disitu gw papasan ma cewe berjilbab temen sekelas gw. Her name? Dewi (her last name is Gustyowati, while mine is Andriani). Yang membuat gw tercenung sedetik kemudian langsung ketawa ngakak adalah, hari itu outfit kita lagi SAMA PERSIS!!! Dewi pake jilbab merah, semi blazer item, rok jeans, sandal casual cokelat dan tas item. Sedangkan gw pake jilbab & kalung merah, baju item, celana jeans, sandal casual cokelat dan JUGA tas item.

Gw sampe dikelas duluan dari Dewi, temen-temen yang lain belum ada yang nanggepin penampilan gw..Tapi begitu Dewi masuk kelas juga, anak-anak langsung heboh,

Gila! Dewi sama Dewi hari ini lagi jadi kembar beneran!”

Wah, Iwed dan Dewi janjian ya pake baju, sandal & tas yang sama gitu?”

Huuu…Udah nama sama, baju sama…Ngga kreatif luh bedua!”

Somehow, gw dan Dewi ketawa aja pas liat hari ini kita lagi jadi accidental twins. Bener-bener terlihat serupa, tapi tetep terlihat ciri khas dan keunikan masing-masing yang emang menonjol; Dewi dengan gaya feminimnya pake rok jeans manis warna biru, gw tetep dengan gaya tomboy gw pake celana jeans kebanggaan super belel (biru bukan, abu-abu juga nanggung) yang udah mulai robek-robek (hehehe…). Tiba-tiba gw punya ide untuk me-memorized momen ini sama FOTO (teteup..), kedua kalinya perbedaan kita terlihat jelas; Dewi dengan senyum manisnya, gw dengan (menurut temen2 lain) senyum sinis ala preman gw, dengan angle fave masing-masing.

Baik gw maupun Dewi ngga berkomentar apa-apa dengan kekembaran kita, kecuali celetukan, “Ih, lucu ya..kok tumben2an kita sama gini!” sambil ngikik bareng. Ngga ada satupun dari kita yang menuding siapa jadi copycat siapa, siapa ngikutin siapa. Karena pada dasarnya kita dateng kekampus dari arah berbeda dan sampe kampus dalam waktu yang hampir sama. Walaupun gw dateng ke kelas duluan, dan Dewi dateng belakangan, temen2 ngga ada yang nuduh Dewi nge-follow pakaian gw, karena mereka tahu itu hanya suatu kebetulan, fenomena alam kalo hari ini pikiran gw & Dewi lagi terkoneksi waktu mau pake outfit kita hari itu. Kita tetep sadar kita punya gaya dan keunikan masing-masing yang bisa dengan jelas membedakan mana yang Dewi dan mana yang Iwed. Istilahnya Duluan mana, telur atau ayam? Pertanyaan itu sampe sekarang kan belum ada jawaban yang pasti. Jadi daripada ngedebatin, mending nikmatin aja kegunaan masing-masing dari telur dan ayam, ya kan? (karena fungsi masing-masing juga beda).

Dan menurut gw… Apa yang salah dengan kemiripan? Allah aja menciptakan paling sedikit dua orang di dunia ini yang punya wajah luar biasa mirip (i.e Maddona-Gwen Stefani-Marlyn Monroe, Leelee Sobieski-Helen Hunt-Jodie Foster), apalagi ciptaan manusia (baca: Mass-producted stuffs) seperti fashion, aksesori, sepatu, tas dan segala macemnya? Menurut subjektif gw, keunikan itu tidak dilihat/di ukur dari bagaimana kita berpakaian, berdandan, bagaimana kita menata website friendster, multiply atau myspace kita supaya beda dari yang lain, atau simply dengan treak-treak di web kalo kita itu unik. Even I can easily recognize identical twins if I know them in person. So I recognize them by their “inside”, though their “outside” is deadly the same. Keunikan – sekali lagi menurut subjektif gw – itu lebih tercermin dari sikap dan attitude, prinsip atau pemikiran kita yang ngga biasa, ide dan kreatifitas kita yang ajaib, atau habit kita yang bisa bikin orang-orang cuma geleng-geleng kepala atau nyeletuk, “Dasar manusia ajaib!”. Gw secara ngga sadar punya kebiasaan yang menurut anak-anak unik: ngetik sms dengan kecepatan luar biasa TANPA harus melihat ke hape, sementara gw bisa dengan nyambungnya ngobrol ma temen gw atau tetep bisa dengerin dosen nerangin dikelas. Ga banyak orang bisa ngebagi fokus antara mau ngetik apa di sms tanpa ngeliat hape sambil tetep nyambung ngobrol ma temen atau sambil tetep dengerin dosen (sms cepet terkirim tanpa teman harus berasa kita cuekin,hehehe), and I’m proudly say that I’m very good at it.

Sebenarnya dengan banyaknya celetukan anak-anak (walaupun sambil bercanda), “Jangan mati Wed! Kalo elo mati gw ntar ngga punya temen ajaib kaya elo lagi” udah cukup membuat gw yakin bahwa gw unik, terlepas dari outfit apa yang gw pake dan terlepas dari atribut apa yang gw bawa……

Kalo menurut Andy, ngebedain antara Dewi dan Iwed itu gampang; Dewi itu Miss Brightside, sedangkan Iwed Miss Darkside,hehehe... Tapi kalo menurut gw ada satu hal lagi yang dapat dengan gamblang membedakan antara Iwed dan Dewi: Kalo kita berdiri hadap-hadapan, Gw seperti bercermin di kaca cekung, sedangkan Dewi seperti bercermin di kaca cembung, huahahahaha…. :D

- Goddess -

Friday, November 24, 2006

Turning Point

Giving up…

Let it go…

Let it flow…

Got to slow down

Enjoy every step

Every breath that I catch

The time when you pull out the brake

It’s the time when you wanna turn around

And go…

I know…

But now I understand

And accept it, I can

With a wide smile ‘till the end

I’ve reach my turning point.

- Goddess -

Jazz Goes To Campus

Day/Date: Sunday/November 19, 2006

Location: Faculty of Economics, University of Indonesia

Hour: 11 am – 12 am

Cozy Stage

- FEUI Band

- Third Champion

- Tripp!

- Vivo Feat. Vonny Sumlang

- Balawan Feat. Adi Dharmawan & Dion Subiakto

- Anugrah Aditya

- Bazzattazk

- Parkdrive

- Bertha & Friends

- Syaharani & The QueenFire Works

Jazzy Stage

- Second Champion

- First Champion

- Zefa & Uncles

- KuLKuL

- Idang Rasyidi Quintet & His Choir

- Tompi

- Donny Suhendra Project

- Ireng Maulana & JakJazz Stars

- Luluk Purwanto & The Helsdingen Trio

- Benny Likumahua Jazz Connection

- Rieka Roslan

- Ruth Sahanaya

The whole event was GREAT!! It was sooo crowd.. I couldn’t even walk easily. Something that made me cry hard is that I had lost BALAWAN & TOMPI to watch!!! Fuckin damn it!! I arrived there at 5 pm, thinking that those two great bands would show up after noon, but I was wrong. Their performance was at 2 pm, performing on a different stage in the same time! (I’m sure many people were very confused whether they wanted to watch Balawan / Tompi, hehehe) and my friend – had arrived there since 12 pm – said that Tompi’s performance was better than Balawan...Uurrgghh…the hell, I still couldn’t watch them *sob*

As I arrived, Parkdrive was on stage… Watched them for a while, but then I started to thirst. So we (Me, Fitsa & Yoa) went to Bazaar to have cup of tea (Coffee for me, of course :p), met some friends, a little chat and laugh… Then suddenly a handsome guy came through me & said hello (latter I knew him as my ex crushed-guy, I didn’t recognize him at former coz I didn’t wear my glasses, hehehe)

After we pray on Magrib time, confusedness attacked us, “Okay friends... Which performance we’ll be watched? Bertha or Luluk? I like both actually…” Fitsa said. I directly said that I wanted to watch Bertha (She’s my dream vocal-teacher... Hiks, adore her voice so much!!). So then, we agreed to watch Bertha.

She brought her three-year-old daughter on stage. Oh God she was so adorable!! That little angel sang “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” with her two older sisters & Bertha herself. The audience couldn’t help not to adore that lovely little girl, every time she sang, people would just said, “Uuuhhh... so cute” or “Ooohhh…” we’re so entertained by her :))

Syaharani did an awesome job! She looked so sexy that nite (so did her voice ;p) She brought up up to 7 songs if I’m not mistaken… Because I didn’t watch her full performance. I – hurriedly – went to Jazzy Stage to watch Rieka Roslan (Of course! Who wanted to miss her performance??)

About Rieka’s performance that nite? No other words better than AMAZING… She looked so fresh, left her long-straight hair swinging – went along her body when she danced. She was so energetic (even when she had to bring about 8-9 up-beated songs). The quiet audience suddenly became wilder; dancing, singing along with her and applauding her.

The final performance at 11 pm was the Diva: Ruth Sahanaya. Dressed up sooo sexy (with a sexy tank top and a casual jeans), she greeted the audience that had been waiting for her all day. Her coolest performance was in the song “You’ve got a friend”. All people there sang along with her, all best friends held their arms together & sang it reverently (Uuhh... Sita, wish u were there Sis *sob*). And that’s all... Her performance was the last performance on Jazz Goes To Campus. The last show was fireworks… It was beautiful… (Felt like in Japan watching Monabi J)

Tired, but entertained… We went back to Fitsa’s dormitory at 12 am. Well, this is my first time watching JGTC after more than 4 years I’ve been studying at UI (hahaha…poor me!). I think it’s worth it (Especially coz I could talk again and switched phone number with that charming guy I ever had a crush on, hehehe). This show isn’t as big as JakJazz or International Jazz Festival, but the point is the JGTC’s Committee (the Economic students) has done their best to make this big show works and keeps this show continue to be an annual show. Two thumbs up for them J

- Goddess -

Monday, November 20, 2006

Silent Tears...

Nov 15, 06,
1 pm

Dan keluarlah si kristal bening ini...
Aku lemah..Kenapa?

Mungkin kemarin-kemarin hanya di mulut aku mengucap syukur...
Baru sekarang aku mengerti...Kau telah mengurangi umurku di hari ini...
Ini indah..Tapi menyiksa...

Semoga indah ini yang tetap merona...

- Goddess -

I'm 22 now and still...Life's a bitch!!

Trying to settle all things right
Trying to put all minds back
Struggling to find my way home
Somewhere place I really belong

Three hours from now
And I have to carry out the responsibility of a 22-year-old-girl
While I think I'm still 17
With a 10-year-old-girl brain
And a 5-year-old-girl behaviour

My home...Somewhere
Haven't found it yet..
And I think I'm lost right now..
Can someone show me the way?

Allah..can you?
Please, dude...I beg you
Show me the way..
Light the street up all the way

Give me a sign when I arrived at the cross-road
Tell me when I have to stop searching
And tell me when that home is already stand in front of me...
Or sneak behind me...
Or guarding me discreetly along my way...

"Happy Birthday to me... Time to wake up and see Life is cheesy, don't be sulky.. Make a wish be merry!!"

- Goddess -


Unwanted feeling has attacking me

Something I never wish to come

As my underlying soul always convinced me

To know what is right and what is wrong

And this is wrong

Like a thousand kinds of mind

Playing around and aching my heart

Confusing thoughts that settled

Melting self that frozen

I’m out of my mind

I can’t differ colors

I can’t figure out things

I can’t sleep well

All I can do is just yearning

For something…

- Goddess -

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

No F**kin Name

Lay down in bed...Exhausted
Entertained by the super sexy voice of Lenny Kravitz
And my imagination gone wild ...

"All of my life...Where have you been
I wonder if I...Never see you again"

*Drown in the unknown addicting-dreamland*

- Goddess -

Wish I Could Fly...

"Jangan terbang tinggi-tinggi...Nanti kalau jatuh sakit rasanya"

"Tapi kalau nggak terbang tinggi nggak bisa lihat pemandangan indah..."

*That quote is rewinding in my head*

(From the movie: Andai Ia Tahu)

- Goddess -

Monday, November 06, 2006


Manusia itu cepat berubah ya...

Hari Senin terlihat menyenangkan

Hari Selasa bisa jadi orang yang sangat menyebalkan

Manusia itu nggak konsisten

Dulu teriak-teriak anti-kemapanan

Sekarang rusuh minta makan

Manusia itu nggak bisa nyusun prioritas

Kemarin bilang kuliah yang utama

Setelah kerja udah ga peduli lagi sama pendidikannya

Manusia itu suka dusta

Mampu ngasih saran luar biasa bijak untuk sahabatnya

Tapi nggak tahu gimana cara nyelesain masalahnya sendiri

Manusia itu nggak tahu terima kasih

Waktu susah ia mencari-cari orang tuanya

Belum tentu udah senang masih suka nanyain kabar mereka

Manusia itu bermuka dua

Di depan suka memuji-muji temannya

Di belakang dengan puasnya ia mengejek dan menertawakannya

Manusia itu tidak setia

Dulu berikrar bahwa hanya ia yang dia cinta

Sekarang berucap tentang indahnya mendua

Manusia itu sebenarnya jelek

Menerima berjuta-juta pujian dari orang

Namun enggan memberi bahkan sedikit untuk si duava

Manusia itu belum tentu bertuhan

Membangga-banggakan dirinya berTuhan

Namun sampai mati ia meng-agungkan cinta



- Goddess -

Friday, November 03, 2006


Sometimes what you get isn't as what u expected. And i'm sad becoz of that... :((

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Happy IduL Fitri *cheer*

Alhamdulillah...The fasting month is about to reach the end. And now - excitedly - we're welcoming the Holy Idul Fitri, a day of winning, a day of celebration, a day of forgiveness..a day full of love ^-^

I'd like to say congrats for those who have done fasting well in this month, congrats to for those who will spend their holiday in their hometown & meet their lovely family... *don't forget to bring some presents, hehehe*

And the the Holy Qur'an always says that a human being is the tiniest creature on the planet and on the whole galaxies, including me; the-girl-full-of-sin, i'd like to ask for apologize for everyone here who read my message. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Sorry for my misbehave, my insulting words, my arrogance, my misunderstood, my prejudicial attitude..all my mistakes. I sincerely ask you an apologize and I hope you can also sincerely forgive me..There should be no harm-feeling by now ^-^

And now...HAPPY IDUL FITRI....Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin everyone..Be merry!!

- Goddess -

Cowo Ganteng VS Cowo Jelek

Kalo cowok ganteng pendiam
cewek2 bilang : woow.... cool banget...
kalo cowok jelek pendiam
cewek2 bilang : ih kuper...

kalo cowok ganteng jomblo
cewek2 bilang : pasti dia perfeksionis
kalo cowok jelek jomblo
cewek2 bilang : sudah jelas...kagak laku...

kalo cowok ganteng berbuat jahat
cewek2 bilang : nobody's perfect
kalo cowok jelek berbuat jahat
cewek2 bilang : pantes...tampangnya kriminal

kalo cowok ganteng nolongin cewe yang diganggu preman
cewek2 bilang : you're my hero
kalo cowok jelek nolongin cewe yang diganggu preman
cewek2 bilang : pasti premannya temennya dia...

kalo cowok ganteng dapet cewek cantik
cewek2 bilang : klop...serasi banget...
kalo cowok jelek dapet cewek cantik
cewek2 bilang : pasti main dukun...

kalo cowok ganteng diputusin cewek
cewek2 bilang : jangan sedih, khan masih ada aku...
kalo cowok jelek diputusin cewek
cewek2 bilang :...(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya meliuk-liuk dari atas

kalo cowok ganteng ngaku indo
cewek2 bilang : emang mirip-mirip bule sih...
kalo cowok jelek ngaku indo
cewek2 bilang : pasti ibunya Jawa bapaknya robot...

kalo cowok ganteng penyayang binatang
cewek2 bilang : perasaannya halus...penuh cinta kasih
kalo cowok jelek penyayang binatang
cewek2 bilang : sesama keluarga ema ng harus menyayangi...

kalo cowok ganteng bawa BMW
cewek2 bilang : matching...keren luar dalem
kalo cowok jelek bawa BMW
cewek2 bilang : mas majikannya mana?...

kalo cowok ganteng males difoto
cewek2 bilang : pasti takut fotonya kesebar-sebar
kalo cowok jelek males difoto
cewek2 bilang : nggak tega ngeliat hasil cetakannya ya?...

kalo cowok ganteng naek motor gede
cewek2 bilang : wah kayak lorenzo lamas...bikin lemas...
kalo cowok jelek naek motor gede
cewek2 bilang : awas!! mandragade lewat...

kalo cowok ganteng nuangin air ke gelas cewek
cewek2 bilang : ini baru cowok gentlemen
kalo cowok jelek nuangin air ke gelas cewek
cewek2 bilang : naluri pembantu, emang gitu...

kalo cowok ganteng bersedih hati
cewek2 bilang : let me be your shoulder to cry on
kalo cowok2 jelek bersedih hati
cewek2 bilang&nbs p; : cengeng amat!!...laki-laki bukan sih?

Kalo cowok ganteng baca e-mail ini
langsung ngaca sambil senyum2 kecil,
lalu berkata "life is beautifull"

kalo cowok jelek baca e-mail ini,
Frustasi, ngambil tali jemuran, trus triak
sekeras-kerasnya "HIDUP INI KEJAAAAMMM....!!!"

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Alkisah ada seorang kaya raya sedang mengadakan pesta di rumahnya di


Menteng. Kayanya orang ini nggak kira-kira, duitnya bejibun, belon

rumahnya di

Menteng ama di Pondok Indah, punya banyak simpanan cewek, abis itu dia


punya helikopter ama pesawat terbang. Pokoknya semuanya deh.

Orangnya rada nyentrik. Kolam renangnya diisi banyak buaya. Lagi pada

pesta di

pinggir kolam, si doi berdiri di atas menara life guard supaya


bisa ngeliat.

Terus dia suruh semuanya tenang dan berkata, “Baiklah, orang pertama


berani renang di kolam ini dari ujung ke ujung bakalan gue kasih semua



Semua pada diem. Si kaya ngeliat ke temen-temennya dengan gemes lalu


“OK, orang pertama yang berani renang di kolam ini dari ujung ke ujung,


kasih semua duit gue plus rumah gue.”

Tetap nggak ada juga yang bereaksi. “OK, kalau gitu semua duit gue,


mobil-mobil, pesawat terbang, semua milik gue, saham, surat berharga

dan semua

cewek gue, pokoknya semua yang gue miliki.”

SPLASH!!! Ada yang terjun! Buaya-buaya pada ngerubutin tapi dia

berkelit aje

kayak Tarzan. Berkelit ke sono-sini, berkelahi juge dengan buaya itu.


nyampe juga di seberang. Si kaya turun dari life guard tower lalu

berlari ke

orang itu.

Kaya : “Gile lu! Hebat bener, gua nggak nyangka kalo ada yang berani

melakukannya. Elu mau duitnya sekarang?”

Nekad : “Nggak! Gue nggak mau duit!”

Kaya : “Elu mau rumahnya sekarang?”

Nekad : “Nggak! Gue nggak mau rumahnya!”

Kaya : “Elu mau mobil ama pesawatnya sekarang atau ntar?”

Nekad : “Nggak! Gue juga nggak mau pesawat!”

Kaya : “Elu minta saham atau surat berharga?”

Nekad : “Nggak! Gue nggak mau!”

Kaya : “Elu minta cewek gue?”

Nekad : “Nggak! gue juge nggak mau itu!”

Kaya : “Habis, elu itu maunya apa donk???”

Nekad : “Gue mau tahu siapa bajingan yang dorong gue tadi!”


1. There're dozen jobs to do at my office and I haven't done all of them

2. I have lots of mid test papers to be done by tomorrow and the day after, and I haven't done - even one of them - yet

3. I'm now facing mid test, one full week. It will be finished 2 days before Idul Fitri, I won't go to my hometown - West Sumatra - to meet all my relatives whom I miss so much

4. I need a joyous sleep in the weekend when i get home. But i can't, coz I have to help my mom handling the house-care and cook for them

5. My insomnia is getting worse each and every day, something you won't expect when all you need is a tight-endless sleep

But somehow..I feel peaceful deep inside my heart - with all my crappy problems. I don't even know why and what is it...this feeling. Is it a true sincere feeling to receive all Allah's ordeals? Is it the rock-hearted of mine which discreetly come out? Or maybe it's just my struggle to be more patient during Ramadhan?

Is it a peaceful feeling? Or numbness? Feel-less? a sincerity..or it's just me going crazy??

- Goddess *in blue* -

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Tukang Pijet

Ada yang tau ga tukang pijet yang enak & murah??


Jangan Pijet plus2 tapi...bulan Ramadhan, hehehe... (so what?)

hadoooh...molor kayanya enak neh!!!

- Goddess -

Monday, October 16, 2006

Cara orang-orang IT memilih pasangan

World Computer Scientist Journal mengadakan Survey terhadap para computer scientist tentang bagaimana cara mereka memandang wanita, hasilnya sbb:

1. Tipe CPU: pintar, pemikir, tidak banyak bicara tapi mengerjakan banyak hal, (diam-diam tau-tau sudah tujuh bulan)

2. Tipe monitor: genit, sukanya diperhatikan, suka pamer, (padahal belum tentu yang dipamerin bagus)

3. Tipe Keyboard: senang dipegang, di tekan dan di pencet di berbagai lokasi (awas salah tekan bisa kena jitak)

4. Tipe Printer: Aktif, ditekan sedikit gerakannya banyak, kalau sedang dipakai berisik (ga cocok buat tipe 21, mengganggu tetangga)

5. Tipe Mouse: Pas dan enak di genggam, dingin-dingin empuk

6. Tipe Window: Tampak luar bagus, dalamnya penuh bugs

7. Tipe Linux-Console: Tampak luar jelek, dalamnya "andal"

8. Tipe XWindows: Luar dalam bisa dihandalkan

9. Tope DOS: Wajah tidak cantik, belum tentu dalamnya tidak baik

10. Tipe UNIX: diam-diam...multi user

11. Tipe LAN: Bisa dipake barengan


- Goddess -

I gave Up!! body can no longer carry over all duties i have. Last night after the class i went to Takor (Campus' cafeteria), bought a drink & had a chat w/ my friends. Suddenly i felt dizzy & my hands were shaking badly. Hurriedly i run for Ojek & went back to my dorm...

I was so stubborn that i thought i still have a little power to go to an internet center to check my email etc..but just 30 minutes later, i couldn't stand anymore. I ran out the internet center's front door and found the nearest drain..then i threw up, so many *sigh*

I think i'm so exhausted & got chilled in my tummy...i carry too many tasks to do & has been ignoring my healthiness. aaarrghh it felt so awful, you couldn't even stand up steadily...

God, i hope i won't get ill for the next couple days..coz i'm gonna face mid test next week & i won't be able doing the test with a bad health...

Hhh...i feel like sleeping as long as i can, but i can't. Hiks patient patient *sigh*

Friday, October 06, 2006

Sebuah Malam

Coretan hati…

Brett, brett
Srett, srett

Dahi berkerut
Bibir mengerucut
Kekesalan menumpuk…

Tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok…..

Coretan membesar dan mengeras…


Sepasang mata di kegelapan menyilau
Memperlihatkan asa yang gundah dan kacau

Coretan menjerit, akhirnya…


Persetan dingin yang terbawa angin!!
Persetan kesunyian yang bekukan malam!!!
Persetan anjing yang menggonggong dan mendengking!!!
Persetan dengan semua setan yang menyetan!!!


Akankah malaikat mengawasiku tidur di kala senyap?
Akankah dia mencatat dosaku saat ku terlelap?
Atau akankah dia membawaku terbang?


Tinggi diatas awan…

Ah tidak…

Dia merendah..

Dan merendah…

Makin rendah…


MATI !!!

- Goddess -

Esti’s poem tells about me writing a poetry

Yang Diungkapkan Oleh Tinta

Tangannya bergerak-gerak
Coretkan tinta
Ungkapkan hati yang sedang tak biasa

Kau tak akan tahu ada apa sebenarnya
Wajahnya sungguh biasa saja
Tak tampak adanya perubahan jiwa

Lihatlah yang ia tuliskan
Temukan sebuah makna lebih dalam
Dan kau tahu kalau ia sedang berjuang
Berusaha pecahkan dilemma dalam “Sebuah Malam”

Written By: Esti
05 Oct, 06
7.30 pm
At class

Daily Day...

Bangun..jam 7 (kalo lagi rajin, kalo lagi males jam 7.30 bahkan jam 8)
Mandi (30 menit..rite!!Smua temen2 kosan gw paling ribut klo udah nyuruh gw cepetan mandinya)

pake lotion, pake baju, make-up an, pake jilbab (40 siap2 1 jam..bused, lama jg ya?)
Jalan (clingak/uk cari tebengan temen kosan yang bawa motor. Kalo lagi apes keluar Kukusan jalan, baru naik bis kuning)

Ngangkot sampe kantor (Pondok Gede nan panas tanpa ampun..Make-up gw jadi sia2 gini. Sial, kan ga lucu ketemu cowo keren tp muke udah dempul..Hhh,dasar Pondok Gede. Hehehehe, no offense utk The Pondokers..)

Jam 10 nyampe kantor..ngidupin komputer, OL kalo sempet...clingak/uk nyari anak2 yg blm dateng. Basa basi nanyain yg lain pada kemana. kalo udah ada kerjaan yang siap di ubrak/ik diatas meja ya mulai kerja. Kalo ngga bengong dulu bentar, ngadem juga sambil nenangin diri dari cuaca luar yang ampun panasnya langsung ke ruang AC yg bikin merinding...

Selesai bengong baru kerja, sambil dengerin lagu2 yang di setel Royas, Budi / Ogie (yang kadang2 ENGGA banget!! Ratu lah, Samson lah, sampe lagu sountrack Candy2 yang dibikin jadi gahar banget!!(anak kecil juga bakal kabur dengernya), lagu SMS lah..yang termutakhir..JABLAI (Hhh, rusak otak gw ini kalo nyampe kampus ntr, ga bs mikir lg..brainwashed bgt tu lagu)

jam 12 udah pada mulai "keluar" aslinya..ada yang ngantuk, nyanyi2 sendiri (dengan tidak manusiawinya), pergi ke ruang "pembuangan sial" maen PS 2 / sekedar OL..treak2 deh tu maen PS-nya (Okay, boyz...tell u this, ure allowed to scream as hell as u want in front of ur fellas..but never do that in front of someone u've crush on..), kalo lg ga puasa hbs salat pada makan kerumah Royas.

Jam 1/1.30 mulai kerja lagi..makin sore makin keluar taring2nya (terutama kalo designer2 ini lagi stuck kreativitas, treak2 cari ilham..padahal gada hasil.Hhh..guys, kita kapan kaya nya ya?? :D)

Baru berapa jam kerja, jam 3 biasanya udah pada treak2 "Adoooohhh, ngantok banget neh gueeeeee!!!!!!!", kalo cukup nekad utk ninggalin kerjaan ya langsung keluar ruangan, masuk kamar & dengan polosnya molor ampe ileran...Kalo nekad tetep nahan ngantuk "ngelampiasinnya" lagi ke PlayStation, treak2 lagi (Addoh kalian cuma maen tendang2an aja knp treak2nya kaya orang diperkaos seh??), "Beuughh Loe..sukurin!!", "Adooohhh...payah neeee!!!", "ayo tendang tendang..hajar!!!", "Curaaaangggg!!!!!!!" Gue sebagai wanita satu2nya disini cuma bisa meringis, ngerutin dahi, paling pasrah cuma treak "Diaaaaaaaaammmmmmm!!!!!!!" atau gw ancem aja kalo gw mau setel lagu2 Gothic, pasti perhatian langsung teralih dr PS sambil treak2 protes ke gw, "Halah lagu setan mulu yang disetel, ntr malem gw dpt nightmare dah!! ganteeee!!!!"

Jam 3.30 gw udah mulai siap2 balik (kalo ga bulan puasa jam4.40), salat, retouch (halah..teteup :D), cabut deh, nyiapin ati menelusuri jalan2 Pd.Gede yang ngga banget itu.
Sampe kampus jam 5.30..first person i look forward..SITA (How jadi kaya cw jomblo..nyampe kampus nyari cw jg *sigh*). Nemu sita, cabut ke Takor..nongkrong (kalo laper makan, ga laper ngopi aja. yang paling sering sih laper mata *ngakak*)

Jam 6.30 sita tetep nongkrong di takor (She's a Hinduism), dan gw pergi ke mushola gedung S2 buat salat. Selesai salat cabs kekelas.

Jam 7 pm dosen dateng (kalo lagi nglunjak baru dateng jam7.30), mulai pelajaran. kalo ati lagi seneng sih dengerin (walaupun males nyatet..yg ada gw biasa bikin2 puisi dikelas/cetting ma the girl next desk :D), kalo lg kurang ajar sih foto2 ma sita (weitz, i'm really an expert in doing photo w/o getting caught by the lecture,hehehe)

jam 8.30 (kalo dosennya gatau malu tetep ngajar), gw udah sibuk berdehem sambil ngucapin, "Uhuhuhudhah uhuhhujamh uhuhstengehuhu uhuhsembhhiilan!!!!!!!!" dengan pitch control yang cepet banget :D anak2 pasti tiba2 ngekor klakuan gw (heran, gampang ya dapet pengikut kalo ngelakuin sesuatu yang ngga bener??) Kalo dosennya sadar tiba2 mahasiswa/i-nya batuk massal, baru pura2 liat jam "Ya ampun, udah setengah sembilan ya?Kok saya ngga berasa ya?" (dan anak2 menanggapinya dengan tatapan yang tidak bisa diprediksi/gw takut memprediksi..karna beberapa malah ga bs diprediksi alias udah molor)

Jam 8.30 cabs ke takor lagi (it's my (and our) real class,hehehe...), beli minum, ngobrol (khusus buat temen ngaco gw, cw asik bernama Lucky, dia akan langsung beli minum, nyalain rokok, buka tas, ambil buku TTS, dan dia - dalam adegan lambatttt - seakan2 telah disedot ke dunia lain bernama Dunia TTS)

jam 9, kalo laper beli makan ma anak2, kalo engga gw langsung nyari ojek..back to my dormitory. get rest and prepare my self & my healthiness to enter a new day...a same new day..tomorrow...

And the day after...

And the day after...

And the day after...


Ps: Photo was taken on Oct 2, 06...Me & Sita was bored to death in da class :D
(She looked cute in my glasses ^-^)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I think I have enough!!!!!!!!!

never know what future holds for me...

i never can predict what the rest of my life would be...

i just know this...i'm living my life as i should be

i do what i should do, i run for what i wanna reach

i be for what i am...

i won't be what people ask me to be...

someone else but me...

Yeah...someone else but me

* in blue... *

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Heavenly Heaven

Heaven reveals in the vague sight

Lay down...the self remains breathless

Smile for the head spinning roller coaster

A delicate avidity...

A bitter sweet fantasy...

A chilled passionate smile...

Coalesce with a brittle soul flying high...

As the lazy body fulfilled with satisfaction

These eyes discreetly closed, heading to a dream-nation

- Goddess -