Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My life now.

I’m at Minangkabau International airport right now, waiting to board to go back to Jakarta. Starting days of routine as I usually waste my age to, as you all do as well... *sighs*

Been going to Bandung, Bali and Padang for the past year, I think this is the end of my fun adventure trip, at least for this year. My pregnancy is getting bigger and riskier now that it doesn’t allow me to have a far trip anymore. I should put my pregnancy as top priority now and no excuse for that. I haven’t seen my obstetrician again while my pregnancy is now passing the week 9. My nausea is still killing me (as usual) and I’m suffering a food disorder now. Not because I do diet (and I must not do that while being pregnant), but because suddenly I loathe all scents of food and dislike lots of food, which is not something I used to do. Being pregnant definitely ruins all my daily activities and routines. In Bali, I couldn’t do parasailing and bungee jumping while those two things are in my top to-do-list-in-life. In Padang I couldn’t enjoy having culinary hunting because of this sudden dislike-ness.

If I don’t keep reminding myself that this is all worth it, I would call this as a heavy disaster! I never can imagine how a pregnant woman feel during their pregnancy, even after hearing some of my mommy-friends’ stories about facing their pregnancy stages for more than 9 months. And now, being pregnant for two months has giving me so much things to learn and consider. The one hardest fact to face is this: that I am now officially bound. Neither a relationship nor a marriage could bind me from being me, literally... But a pregnancy could bind you in an absolute way. No escape, no compromise... I am now officially bound, everyone. This lil thing inside my embryo has succeeded in making me pulling over anything aside and put this thing in front all of ‘em.

And this is not my whining heart tale. At first, I thought I was gonna be so. But a miracle (let’s say so) happened, I never complain anything because of it. I am happy... hmm, nauseously happy actually (heheh..). I’m this close to officially announce about my life being perfect. I can wait, I will wait... 7 months ahead should be something not so hard for a hard-head like me (lol). Plus, everyone around me now loves me even more than before. My husband, parents, parents in law, brothers, sisters in law, friends (true ones as always), and cousins and even my lil niece and nephew.

I should learn from this new experience. I should take all good things behind, beyond and underneath it. Being bound is not always bad, because to be bound with someone / something you’re in love with – even when you haven’t seen her / him before – is not something bad at all. I’m falling love with this new thing inside me, though we never seen each other, but I know that – somehow – this baby-to-be loves me too. I wish...

And so the miracle is still going.

~ G ~

Saturday, Sept 26th

14:30 – Lounge

Minangkabau International Airport

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Morning sickness.

It is worth it, as I believe For a 9-month-long of this everlasting blurry faint As it is always paid off, they said This nauseous feeling draws and grows thousands of dreamy hopes It is back breaking, as I am recently experiencing When you feel like to swallow all things you loathe, surprisingly As it is so naturally normal, like they said When indolence is you and heaven is a layback It is different in every step, as what I read The jolting moments would bring wider smiles As all I keep in this fragile sphere-like organ Is what I would die to cover No matter what, no question why I know it already that I fly When fall can no longer describe the volume Of my love My affection You, little thing inside me Be nice :)

~ G ~