Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What doesn't kill me, will make me even stronger.

I somehow don't want those things get in my way and take me too deep in a hole full of miserable. I don't want to sell my initial happiness with it and I don't want to take it for granted. I know I still have power left to fight against them, even if it has to be my last fight. I was bleeding to have what I'm having right now. I know I still can bleed more to defend it.

God hear what I ask, what I'm mourning for. God see what I fight, what I'm struggling for.
He shall see me bleeding the road if it must, for I know He will not kill me for doing it.

Coz what doesn't kill me, will make me even stronger.

God bless.



This morning I went to the office with bad feeling. At first I thought it was something with my home or my Little Rayyan. On the bike I kept guessing the meaning of this anxiety which somehow I couldn't answer why was this feeling attacking me in a sudden. Told my husband about this, had to call home right away. But nothing happened there (Alhamdulillah), yet this feeling was still there. Not so long after that, my boss came to me and reconfirmed the meeting he must hold at 9:30 this morning.

"It's on Wisma Bakrie 1, pak" I answered.
"No. It's on 37th floor, Wed." he persisted.
"The calendar invitation mentioned WB1 instead of 37th floor, sir. If there was a venue changing in the last minute, they should've told me earlier. But no short notice received, sir".

Shocked and maybe felt like he was been fooled, he hurriedly go down to the lobby and yelled, "Call my driver now!"

Okay. I love this new office I'm working at now. It's nice, big, clean and whatever we need. But one thing, one crucial thing ruins the conformity; NO SIGNAL DETECTED HERE. On some REALLY particular spots you will get it, but the rest is the mystery (to refine the word "disaster").

Back to the story. So I called my driver once, "Unreachable", the phone screen showed. I called again for the 2nd time, 3rd, 4th, 5th... I called him for almost 10 times in a row and still his cellphone couldn't be reached. I called the car call at the lobby. My boss gave me a call, "Wed, he isn't here yet. Have you call him?", "I did sir but it seems that his cellphone is out of the signal."

"Should I really have to care bout that now, Wed?", Okay Wed, stop talking. Give the magic words, "I'm still trying, pak." Click, he cut the line.

I tried to call his cellphones again and again, and for forever last, the phone connected. Fiuhh, God!!

Told him to stand by at the lobby a.s.a.p, but when I was about to smile for this stupid achievement, my boss called me again,

"This is pathetic. I'm on my way to WB1."
"Errr... " Couldn't sure his driver drove that fast from the basement to the lobby, plus my boss' voice sounded... unfriendly *smirk*
"By a CAB!"

Nah! That answered why he sounded so unfriendly, then...

"I'll told him to go straight away to WB1, pak. So sorry, the signal sucks".
"Okay, never mind." He sighed.

Huff, that was close!

Bad feeling doesn't always related to the family issues, huh?! Learn from that today *deep inhale*

Let's pump sum milk then, hope the bad feeling will go or else I won't get my Let Down Reflex moment -_____-

Thank God it's Friday!!!