Monday, November 24, 2008

The tongue.

Something without bones is mean. Something without bones is merciless. It attacked me several times on the head. It made me bleed, it made me fallen into the deepest darkest hole under my frailty. It delivered messages that would haunt me for years that I could barely erase them from my knotty mind. I tried to close my eyes and covered the imagery of that boneless thing with something more content, and I couldn’t. That shapeless form stabbed into the center of me and left marks it went all into the corners of it. I just followed the drift powerless, though I didn’t want to be any part of it.


Something without bones scares me a lot. It crawled into my bed and slipped inside my dreams. It contaminated them until I could no longer brave enough to lay back and sleep well again. It screeched with pitchy tones and said something sharp through my dreamy reflection, still inside my dreams. I couldn’t find the answer of how hard it was to cut this unpleasant contact.


Something without bones is gluey, as gluey as when it said horrible things about me. Even when I never said, or never did. It just glued, and it would stick on me, until like…




~ G ~


For You: “Thank you for the LITLLE COWARD heart inside the BIG BLUFFING mouth.”

For another You: “Thank you for being such a DISAPPOINTING FRIEND ever be.”

And for the last You: “Thank you for the jealousy upon my existence. I’ll keep being your forever nightmare, coz you’re such a BIG SHORT FAT entertaining fool.”

Thursday, November 20, 2008



I closed my eyes and I called Your name. You came in a second, then we talked. I said I need You, and I thought You have left me. You said I'm stupid and asked me whether You've had abandoned me. I said I miss You and I miss mom, You answered You miss me too and my mom misses me even more. I said I'm getting older, You said I'm getting wiser. I said no, You said believe me. I mourned to think that I'm one year closer to meet You. You asked me if I indeed not desiring to meet you. That's not what I meant, I answered. I'm afraid I'm not ready yet, You said no one is ready to meet You, and You convinced me that You're not that frightening. I laughed, You smiled. I said You must be undoubtedly beautiful, You answered You would prefer to be said forever indescribable.

I said thank you for willing to talk with me, You said I'm one of Your creations, You should and shall always stick your eyes on me. I sobbed, You said don't cry. I smiled, You said "Happy birthday, go blow your 24 liquid candles. No need to do the make-a-wish ritual, I already knew yours. Cheers, human"

November 15

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Habis fitting kebaya buat acara resepsi anaknya salah satu boss gede perusahaan tempat saya menguras keringat dan air mata.

Duh.... Kerahnya bener-bener tidak sesuai dengan harapan. Gue minta yang victorian style, kenapa yang nongol model blue-colar style gini?

Harus dirubah, harus! Selamatkan martabat bangsa seperti Obama!!!

*bener-bener postingan ngga penting. Cowo gue mana yah? Blom nongol... Pantatnya blom kering apa ya? Yasudahlah, bakar sebatang lagi aja kalo gitu.


Friday, October 24, 2008

Games Online

Lumayan ngilangin bete dikantor kalo:

1. Lagi ngga ada kerjaan
2. YM lagi sepi
3. Lagi ngga ada gosip hot dikantor
4. Efes, Fesbuk sama Multiply lagi membosankan
5. Ngga ada cerita seru di dan bolanews
6. Bosen maenin Diner Dash, Feeding Frenzy, Pizza Frenzy sama Volley pantai
7. Nungguin download The Sims sama Harry Potter terbaru yang ngga kelar-kelar [seperti apa yang terjadi sama gue sekarang, hiks... tolonglah!]


Thursday, October 23, 2008


Sometimes people - stupidly - claim something that does not belong to them as their own. For example, this one pathetic shit is trying to take over one life that is not his. My deep condolence for his dead stinky rotten brain and soul. Screw you, asshole! The one life that you are trying to take is MINE!!!

MINE!!! MINE!!! and only belongs to ME!!!

F U !!!


Monday, October 20, 2008



Finally be able to see my Death on the stage again and "making love" with his guitar. Sampe nge-diving segala udah kaya martabak diangkat-angkat trus dibolak-balik [hihihihi....]. One word to describe him on the stage:
CHAOS!! And oh how I love seeing him like that


Friday, October 10, 2008

Breaking in.

I want to shut it up

I will torch the tradition

Put an end to it

I will make an eternal silence

To a loud superficial convention

To a strictly unbreakable set of mind

I want to get over it

I will cork my ears to deafness

And plug my eyes to blindness

Yet I will widely open my heart

I will unleash it to the maximum limit

Let them see what lies beneath it

I want to stop it

I will stand in the middle of the road

Put both hands aside me

So they won’t be able to move forward

Watch me taking my heart from inside my chest

It’s bleeding, red and tortured

I want to break it

Burry all wounds in the vault

Where no one can reach it any longer

I will mend their damaged thoughts

Establish a needful revolution

I will safe them from the doom

I won’t get any helped by me

I don’t need that

Coz yet

I’m already breaking in.

Friday, September 19, 2008


I knew it would be you
Who broke the line
Told me we would be fine
Until one of us were fallen

I knew it would be me
Who answered your call
Told you that you were wrong
Until I could prove it to your shocking mime

I knew it would be us
Who got enough to each other
Told nothing and acting a stranger
Until we gone old and limping

I knew I wouldn't be known
The reason why this would happen
A scenario that was already written
Until the last page that is filled with a blank

I knew you have known
That in the end
God knows everything that we don't


* You know how hard it was to deal with, but I knew that I would be the last one standing here.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Playing God.

Holy men never exist
Not a baby, nor even a priest
They manifest evil in every breath they catch
They experience things and they feed evil thoughts
They are blessed with feeling, brain and senses
They are condemned with hunger, fear and greediness
True and false will be their lifetime enemies
Merit and sin will be their forever worst nightmares
Everything in this world will have its end
But why not to God?
Every creature will choose its path to heaven or hell
But why not to God?
Why God never wants to own what we have,
Though we always want to own God’s power?
Why God never envies us,
Though we are ready to kill and to die to be in His position?
Men never created to feel truly satisfied
Nor even be wholly perfect
But they give rank, they give rate, they give score
They give reward, they give punishment
They judge, they value things and they label things
They establish egocentric thoughts to a form named “law”
Whether it was made unintentionally conscious
Or intentionally unconscious
Law has been said as mass legally compromise
They said it is mass legally agreement
And there they are
They form a new mindset of humankind
Because they judge, innocence exists
Because they value things, the accused appears
They collect power and hide their weaknesses from disclosure
A power with several unbelievable ingredients
It is include a bottle of fear, 10 spoons of passion
A cup of cowardice, a full bundle of stupidity
Mixed with a bowl of polluted brain capacity
They are all mixed up in a pan of money
Burnt in a flame of greediness
That is how law is made
That is how they started to question God
That is how they lose their self-consciousness
That is how phenomenon plays games upon men
Soiled their holiness, ruined their innocence
Screwed their goodness
Where finally some deceiving goodness hide in mask only remain
I started to question myself
Why heaven still has to be there,
If men are all playing God?


Thursday, September 11, 2008


[Tidur sambil mimpiin dia kayanya enak nih!

Setelah selesai meng-upload foto-foto nostalgiLa di Efes, dan habis itu baca note Fesbuk-nya Sita, aduh... Gue jadi kangen B.A.N.G.E.T sama mereka!

Untung besok ada acara Bukber...
*menahan keinginan untuk menguap, menjerit minta pulang dan mengutuk aircon kantor yang sangat tidak bersahabat sementara perut kosong blong!*

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gelap on Hai Magazine!

Click the image to view the clearer readable picture.

“Emang bener, metal deket dengan setan. Ya begitulah! Itu sebabnya kita harus bikin yang exceptional, yang beda.” [Ombat – Tengkorak]

“Bagi gue, bukan jadi hal yang baku kalau metal harus mengarah ke arah yang negative. Kalau mereka bilang gitu, gue juga punya hak kalau metal juga bisa positif.” [Die – Purgatory]

“Kami ngga pernah merencanakan bakal begini. Intinya sih kami ngambil referensi ke agama karena kami nguasain materinya. Beda kalau ngomongin setan-setanan, hal kaya gitu gue ngga ngerti.” [Amor – Purgatory]

“Dunia ini sekarang udah kacau banget. Dengan segala keburukan yang terjadi, yang bisa menolong kita cuma iman dan agama.” [Rins – Gelap]


Those are the previews of one of the newest Hai Magazine’s articles that have been released on Sept 8. Regarding to the fasting month that we’re running now, Hai Magazine gives the readers a Ramadhan-theme for its recent edition. There are several Ramadhan-theme articles like “Berdakwah Lewat Lagu”, “Nongkrong Selama Ramadhan”, “Peraturan Khas Ramadhan” and the last is “Metal Religi”.

The latter article is quite special for me, because my band – Gelap – has been chosen as one of three underground bands that are considered as religious bands, along with Purgatory [new metal] and Tengkorak [grindcore]. Frankly, it’s a big honor for me and Gelap especially, to be put side-by-side with two most well-known religious underground bands like Purgatory and Tengkorak [regarding that we’re still new in the underground scene and they are like the “Gods” in each of their own scene].

The article itself tells about looking metal music in different perception, the Brightside. That actually not all metal bands are related to demonic, hedonic or atheistic. There is always light within the darkness, even if it is just a tiny light. What matters is whether you could see the tiny light when your eyes are already stucked in the darkness’ comfort zone. More or less that’s the article written on it.

Be pleased to read the article if it meets your interest [which also means you might buy the mag. Aha! Hai Mag should pay me for marketing their stuff, hahaha!]

Enjoy reading and enlightening your mind with METALLY religious bunch of musicians’ opinions.



Wednesday, September 03, 2008


I can never be enoUGH to everybody.
And everybody will soon have enoUGH with me.
In the end everybody will leave me.
As it is always be, most likely.


While watching Alanis - Uninvited [click the picture to see the vid]

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Just whatever.

Fasting month is coming in a few days ahead, but I already got a pretty deal of trial from God. It’s about this website that one of my friends gave to me on the Messanger. I already felt interested just by reading the link-name, soon as I opened the site, I knew I was right. This site is the Moslem-hater site, they’re not Christian, or Jewish or I don’t know who they are [not that important, sorry]. Whoever they are, they’re discrediting Islam in a very well-thought of sorta way! They are bunch of GODDAMN smarty-pants! I bet they did some deep research and brainstorming of the Holy Qur’an first before making this amazing site. And really, I have to admit that this site is so fucking teasing! And I won’t recommend you to click your computer mouse to the link if you don’t prepare enough to read it [esp. for my Muslim buddies here]

I know there are lots of other similar sites like this, I just never interested in finding them [it’s just gonna piss me off, so I’d better put my distance on it], until my friend gave the link. After I opened, I said to him


MC: hati hati blog ini--->musuh Islam nyata--->>

G: Thx for sharing bro, really great site, indeed

G: mereka sebenernya orang2 smart

G: sayangnya tidak begitu smart naro otaknya dimana

G: jadi dibaca aja untuk fun

MC: yups

G: i have lots of FUN reading them

MC: masi banyak lg seh,, web/blog semacem itu

G: iya

MC: yea

G: kalo diliat smua ngga ada habisnya

MC: iya,, bikin kesel aj,,,

MC: share ke yg laen yah

G: hahahaha... ngga tau deh

G: terlalu malay

G: sebenernya itu tujuan mereka

G: muslim kesel, muslim share

G: smua muslim jadi baca itu

G: dan ada aja yg pegangannya goyah, bisa bahaya

G: like i said, they're smart people

G: whoever made this site

MC: yups

G: beneran, kalo hati ngga kukuh sm islam

G: baca itu bisa goyah loh

G: they make the site really great!

G: ngga mengatasnamakan agama2 lain

MC: <+++ ini yg lebih

G: menomorsatukan freedom, hak mengambil keputusan

G: itu sbnrnya yg dicari2 orang, kebebasan kan?

MC: kebebasan yg tak terbatas

G: itu dia

MC: lupa pembatas nilai moral

G: makanya, propaganda gila2an ini situs

MC: yups

G: bahaya lho sebenernya klo di share ke orang banyak

MC: tp pemerintah ko diem yah

G: makanya gw males, akan lebih aman kalo situs kaya gini di abandon

MC: mikirin aja web myspace, youtube,,,

MC: giliran yg kyak gini diem aj


Well, will do find heavier trial like this in the fasting month, I just have to be prepared. Set my heart, clean my thought, wash my dirty mind [yeah yeah, that’s right! Hahaha]. But anyway, happy fasting friends! Hope this sacred month could re-born ourselves, each in a unique way, until we reach the Glory in the end of the month.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wall-E [2008]

Film ini kocak, lucu, sweet dan hi-tech pastinyah! Awalnya gw ngga ada rencana nonton film ini, tapi beberapa kolega gw berencana nonton ini pakai diskon yang disediain bagi yang punya account Mandiri. Setelah make sure gw bisa “kabur” lebih awal dari kantor dan ngga ada rencana apa-apa sama laki gw, gw pun menyetujui ikut serta di nonbar Wall-E di 21 Setiabudi.

Film-nya bercerita tentang seorang robot masa depan bernama Wall-E, yang bertugas “mengkotak-kotakkan” sampah-sampah di bumi yang sudah menggunduk tak tertolongkan lagi [kemudian diketahui seluruh penghuni bumi sudah dipindahkan ke galaksi lain yang lebih layak buat dijadikan tempat hidup dengan teknologi luar biasa canggih yang menyebabkan manusia tidak harus bergerak untuk melakukan APAPUN yang mereka mau karena sudah ada robot-robot yang melakukan semuanya untuk mereka]. Kemudian datang seorang robot bernama Eve, yang punya misi khusus untuk mencari lagi sumber kehidupan di bumi, memastikan apakah bumi masih punya harapan menjadi tempat tinggal manusia lagi. Wall-E dan Eve pun bertemu di bumi, sampai Wall-E jatuh cinta sama robot cewek ini. Hihihi, lucu banget deh, bayangin kaya kita yang goblok bahasa Inggris, ketemu sama orang Prancis yang goblok bahasa Inggris juga, giliran ngobrol pake bahasa Tarzan. Nah kurang lebih begitulah sapaan awal si Wall-E dan Eve waktu mereka kenalan. Kocak banget!!

Film ini efeknya mantep, yah namanya juga computer-animated movie. Lucu bener deh, habis nonton film ini jadi kepengen punya binatang peliharaan kaya Wall-E [Loh kok peliharaan? Wall-E kan robot! Hehehe…]


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Vamp I are.

I am a crazy mind, I am deaf and blind.

I am abstractly defined, I am red as blood and warm as wine.

I live at night, whereas my eyes are open wide.

Even with no scent and light, I still can see where you hide.

I am the moon’s angel, she crumbles when I stumble.

The heat is so flammable, we are so close and mingle.

With my wings I fly, to the earth and sky.

Until the stars are all dry, to then I will fall and cry.

I’m the unwanted shade, they are hoping and wishing me fade.

And no other winter can I create, I let go all of what I should take.

The wind soon to be blowless, the sky goes darkless.

The owls are singing toneless, as the sacred night is remaining pureless.

I am a night owl, my heart is fragile yet peaceful.

I am impulsive and not desiring power, I will soon diminish in an hour.

I show not my existence, when the sun goes persistence.

Daylight is my resistance, so numb and full of hesitation.

I am the wolf’s sound, I wander in unbound.

When the flesh and blood has been found, peacefulness of night is profound.

And there goes the death of her

Taking her lifetime pledge burying under

Her grave.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Lessons taken from secretary training.

After I followed the secretary training for the past three days [August 12-14], I have learnt two things about secretarial matters besides networking, getting so dramatically sleepy and making 3 cups of coffee per day [step aside the main work of secretary, I’ve known it already]:
  1. Boss can do NO wrong.
  2. If boss does wrong thing, please take a look at rule number one.

Uhuh, I think I got that!

*rolling eyes*


Friday, August 08, 2008

What's with 080808?

Biasa aja gituh. It’s just a series of number, though.

There will be 090909, 101010, 111111, 121212

So what...

Thursday, August 07, 2008

2 Girls 1 Cup

On the second sight, it wasn't that horrible. Moreover, it's a piece of cake. I've seen worse than this movie


Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Saya SAD-ih.

Saya tidak bisa lagi merasa sedih dalam kesedihan.

Saya SAD-ih.

Saya melihat sedih-sedih itu bersedih pada saya.

Mereka bergumul sedih mengetahui saya tidak bersedih.

Saya SAD-ih.

Atas segala fatamorgana dunia yang menyedihkan bercengkerama bersama jiwa saya dengan nada sedih.

Atas segala kebajikan dan dosa yang saya lakukan yang bersedih atas saya, yang terlihat tidak bersedih melakukan mereka semua.

Atas segala luka, noda dan goresan yang saya buat bersama sedih tanpa kesedihan melingkupi jiwa saya.

Saya SAD-ih.

Sedih tak bersedih untuk saya lagi, mereka bosan bersedih untuk saya, mereka pikir saya menyedihkan.

Maka sedihlah saya, atas ketidaksedihan saya melihat sedih yang bersedih karena saya menyedihkan.


Photo of & Edited by: Die

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Mist [2007].

***** Five stars!
Nah! Ini dia nih movie of the week yang paling berkesan buat gw. Selain karena story line nya oke, ending nya juga OKE BANGET!!! Saking okenya sampe gw nangis [and this means literally!] tersedu-sedu pas liat endingnya. Kalo menurut opini Maxim America, mereka bilang, “A MASTERPIECE! One of the most shocking movie endings ever!”. Gila, I never thought they would – cruelly – made such an ending like that. I felt like I was him – David Drayton – and I could feel what he felt.

Ah gila deh, film ini bener-bener SUKSES bikin gw nyesek gila-gilaan dan jadi twisted. Either seneng karena bisa nemu film sekeren ini dan juga nyesel kenapa harus nonton film ini, hehehe… really! Bagi yang biasa/suka happy ending, do not hope too much from this movie. Moreover, let’s not hope anything. Just be ready to get shocked!

Big applause for Frank Darabont, the Director. Thank you for making me love and hate this movie at the same time! Saking ngga tahannya karena kebayang mulu sama adegan endingnya, gw langsung telp laki gw [masih dengan tersedu-sedu dan suara serak gitu] gw ngadu,
“Ay, aku sebel”
“Habis nonton The Mist, aku langsung nangis…”
“Iyaaa, endingnya bikin murkaaa! Sebeel…”
“Kalo begitu berarti filmnya keren dong ay, sukses bikin kamu nangis.”
“Iya keren, tapi ngga asiiiik!!!”

Hahahahaha…. Sumpah! This movie is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Seorang Rinsdark aja nangis nonton film ini, apalagi seorang Iwed? Dan maybe you too?

Hmmm, untuk ngebuktiin, tonton aja sendiri :)


Step Up 2 The Street [2008].

**** Four Stars!
Ugh… Film ini ternyata OKE!!! Kalau buat gw sih ya, film ini a bit different dari film yang lain. Story line nya kurang lebih hampir mirip Center Stage [tarian ballet] dan Raise Your Voice [Penyanyi], bedanya kalo ini tentang street dancer. Gw suka banget liat Briana Evigan [Andie] disitu, she is damn HOT! Cantik, body-nya oke, jago dance lagi! Koreografi dari semua tarian yang ditampilin disitu ngga ada yang mengecewakan. Semuanya oke banget! My fave dancing is their last dance under the rain, ON THE STREET! Kereeenn…!!!

Film ini baru akan nongol di bioskop awal bulan depan kayanya, tapi gw udah nyolong start duluan di DVD, hehehe… Maklum, gw orang yang a bit picky kalo untuk urusan film apa yang worth it untuk ditonton di bioskop. #1; kalo film itu dibintangin sama actor/aktris fave gw, #2; kalo film itu pake special effect yang abis-abisan, #3; kalau gw dibayarin!


Enjoy yah, oh how much I envy their limber bodies when dancing on the street!


Alvin and The Chipmunks [2007].

*** Bintang 3

Chipmunks itu sendiri udah lucu dan gemes liatnya, apalagi kalo mereka ngelawak? Selama film ini diputar gw ngga henti2nya nyengir. Gw paling suka Theodore, chipmunk betina yang paling belet, paling polos dan paling manja diantara Simon & Alvin. Jangan tanya soal story line, standar banget! Loe bisa liat sejuta film dengan story line yang sama; Air Bud, CJ7, Lessie dan Stuart Little. Tapi bedanya emang bener2 tiga binatang lucu ini aja nilai jualnya. Lebih oke lagi nontonnya habis elo nonton film horror trus ketakutan sendiri atau film horror yang endingnya bikin MURKA [kaya gw habis nonton The Mist, pas liat endingnya langsung murka dan sedih bukan main, habis itu nonton film ini], kesedihan sedikit ilang deh, hehehe…

Buat refreshing, film ini oke. Wish I could have these kinda pets, they will soon blow my house in only a second!



Meet The Spartans [2008].

Euuhhmmm, gw bingung mau kasih komen apa. Karena sebenernya gw bingung sama cerita ini mau dibawa kemana. Emang bukan tipe cerita serius, intinya aja kan plesetannya film 300. tapi gimana ya? Ada kalanya ini film kocaaak banget, ada kalanya ini film GARING abiss sampe gw mikir apa penulis ceritanya udah kehabisan bahan lawakan ya? Yang paling garing sih tentang raja Xerxes yang tiba2 berubah jadi Transformer dan mati bareng-bareng pasukan the Spartans. Idih, endingnya ENGGA banget!! Gw sampe nganga sendiri sambil mandang layar TV gw dengan raut bingung, “Kok endingnya garing banget gini?”. Sumpah bikin kecewa banget deh. Sama soal Paris Hilton itu, tsa’elaaah ktauan Britney disitu emang buat bahan ejekan doang [aktingnya buat selingan sampah], tapi Paris dikasih peran dstu sebagai cewe cacat yang berkhianat sama pasukan Spartans tapi dikasih segala macem scenario basi supaya kliatan lucu, yang menurut gw malah gagal total. Udahlah tampilin aja Paris Hilton apa adanya kaya Britney disitu. Toh Paris Hilton itu sendiri juga udah jadi lelucon di dunia.

Ooh whatever, dibilang ngga terhibur tapi ngga juga, dibilang terhibur tapi ngentang.


The Day After Tomorrow [2004]

**** Four stars!

Oke, bisa jadi gw telat banget baru nge-review film ini. Emang jujur aja gw kurang suka film-film bernuansakan “world disaster” ini. Belakangan baru doyan setelah nonton The Mist [dan dulu Deep Impact sama Armageddon, itu juga cuma 2 film itu aja yang gw tonton dijaman itu]. Bukannya gw ngga suka, tapi kadang gw suka tenggelam sama luapan emosi gw sendiri. Gw suka jadi norak sih kalo nonton film – apalagi yang emang keren. Bisa tiba-tiba kesel sendiri, marah tiba-tiba atau nangis sampe kepikiran di mimpi. Nah film The Day After Tomorrow ini bisa dibilang “standar” dalam mengocok emosi gw. Ngga sebegitu tegangnya juga gw nonton film ini.

Yang pasti special effect-nya keren, story line nya asik karena gw suka biar film itu macho nya kaya apa tapi sentuhan “kemanusiaannya” tetep ada. Nah film ini oke dalam meramu ceritanya, pretty touching. Teruuus, plot nya keren. Tapi sebenernya yang jadi juara di film ini adalah “message content”-nya. Film ini mau menggambarkan bahwa, bahkan kecanggihan teknologi manusia masih bisa salah dalam menerka. Manusia seharusnya ngga harus nungguin sebuah peringatan dulu baru mau bertindak. Semua tindakan harus dari dasar hati, manusia ngga boleh mengandalkan manusia, mereka harus mengandalkan kata hati dan insting mereka sendiri. Apalagi untuk urusan kelestarian alam dan seluruh habitatnya. Gw yakin ngga ada manusia di dunia ini yang belum pernah denger tentang peringatan Global Warming di media manapun yang pernah mereka liat. Gw yakin pesan itu sampe ke mata dan telinga mereka. Tapi apa iya ya pesan itu sampe ke hati mereka? Apa iya mereka bener-bener sadar apa yang mereka hadapi kedepan kalau mereka masih akan melanjutkan sikap ignorance mereka?

Gw jadi inget sebuah email yang pernah dikasih sama salah seorang temen kantor gw tentang ramalan seseorang mengenai masa depan bumi dan angkasa 100 tahun kedepan secara spesifik [I’m thinking of posting it today, just wait]. Dan salah satunya peramal itu berbicara tentang bagaimana bumi perlahan memberontak pada manusia, bagaimana ras manusia terancam punah karena ulah mereka sendiri dsb. Terlepas dari keyakinan akan kebenaran ramalan itu atau ngga, we can’t deny that indeed it is now happening, that the earth screams, that the earth is exhausted. It is nothing to lose to pay a bit attention to the earth isn’t it? Itulah inti dari film ini dimana, above it all, gw paling kagum [betewe gw jadi ceramah dadakan ya].


The Dark Knight, 2008

***** Five stars!

Setelah sebelumnya sempet panik nungguin si pacar karena baru balik dari rumah klien [hari Minggu kerja juga sayang gw, hiks…] sampe ke studio film udah mulai dari 15 menit yang lalu. Untungnya ngga ketinggalan banyak. Jujur dari awal niat gw nonton film ini sebenernya paling berat dikarenakan gw pengen liat aksi terakhir Heath Ledger yang kata orang jadi masterpiece nya dia. Hmmm…. Setuju siiih, tapi bagi gw Brokeback Mountain doi itu masterpiece nya dia. Ngga tau lah ya, pendapat orang kan beda-beda. Tapi gw setuju kalo di film ini aktingnya Ledger gila-gilaan. Kayanya kalo dilihat lagi saat itu dia pengen banget buktiin ke Hollywood kalo dia adalah seorang actor yang pantas diperhitungkan dan ngga hanya sekedar modal tampang doang [Well, 10 Things I Hate About You is so yesterday, isn’t it? Jaman-jamannya dia pamer ketampanan kemana-mana, gw aja terpesona, hehehe…].

Terlepas dari Heath Ledger nya, sebenernya gw bukan pengikut sekuel Batman. Tapiii, dibandingin semua tokoh superhero lain, let’s say Superman dan Spiderman, gw emang paling demen sama Batman [walaupun Spiderman sekuel film yang gw tonton dengan lengkap dari 1-3]. Mulai dari Gotham City nya sampe ke Jokernya. Emang pas banget tipikal film heroic gitu lah.

Gw cukup enjoy nonton film ini. Acting Christian Bale juga oke [but sorry, Ledger still is the champion :p], sampe gw ngga bisa lepasin konsentrasi gw dari pandangan ke layar bioskop. Mungkin kalo ada Joker disamping gw dia bisa dengan mudah tiba-tiba todongin pisaunya ke mulut gw sambil bilang,




Friday, July 25, 2008

Deep Condolence [ For Aya & her beloved Mother].

This news hits me, big time. Aya is one of my college buddies at PR UI, she had a terrible car accident this dawn in a highway near Cempaka Putih. Her mother and the taxi driver couldn’t be saved [my deep condolence, sist] and my friend – Ryana Yahya Nasution – lying in hospital bed dying. She lost blood so much and need blood donated as soon as possible.

For those who has an A blood type and kindly want to donate his/her blood, you can directly go to PMI Salemba and just tell the staff that you want to donate blood for Ryana Yahya. Your favor would be highly appreciated.

I shed tears reading this shocking news. Really, this couldn’t have happened if the truck driver didn’t fall asleep while driving. Shoot! I hate this news!!

Aya, hang on dear…


The news link, please go to:

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Okay, here we go…

Sebenernya ini masalah yang begitu umumnya di rasakan kebanyakan orang; berkonflik dengan teman sendiri. Gw sendiri pun belum lama ini ngerasain hal itu. Gw sempet ribut besar sama sahabat gw sendiri. Keadaan yag keruh itu makin di perparah dengan masuknya orang-orang [baca:] kudisan yang coba ambil kesempatan untuk hancurin hidup gw lebih jauh dengan memanfaatkan situasi dimana gw sedang “bertarung” dengan sahabat gw itu, let’s say lah bahasa halusnya adu domba. Entah apa yang mereka cari dari kondisi itu, bahkan kalo mau gw tela’ah lagi, gw ngga melihat ada keuntungan secuil pun dari sikap berbahagia diatas penderitaan orang lain [baca:] kecuali kalo anjing-anjing itu menderita penyakit imbisil yang akut, they’re hopeless then.

Bicara soal mengendus-endus urusan orang lain yang bukan kepentingannya, saat ini selain gw ada juga beberapa temen gw yang mengalami hal yang kurang lebih serupa sama gw. She is just like me; a single fighter against some stinky lil bitches who spread stinky smells every space they are at. Padahal kita ngga pernah sentil-sentil urusan mereka [hellooo, like I care either? I have TONS of another useful business than making a MOCKING NICKNAME – for EXAMPLE – to people I hate just for a hilarious intermezzo in the midst of lunch time with my babes], padahal kita ngga pernah peduli apa yang mereka lakukan [Untukmu urusanmu, untukku urusanku. Bukankah dunia akan lebih indah seperti itu daripada dipenuhi oleh sekumpulan anjing-anjing sok perhatian satu sama lain demi merengguk lebih banyak celah untuk mereka tertawakan di belakang punggung dengan bisikan dan cekikikan bau mulut mereka?], padahal kita tau ngga ada satu profit pun yang bisa diambil dari bergosip ria sampe mulut berbusa [sori deh, gw mending liat pelacur menjual diri dibandingin ngeliat segerombolan anjing-anjing mengendus-endus urusan orang lain dengan mengais-ngais sebanyak mungkin tempat sampah yang bisa mereka temukan. Ketauan melacur dapet duit, ngegosip dapet apa?], tapi kenapa ya, yang namanya habit membicarakan orang lain itu ngga pernah berkurang? Let’s not talking about erase the habit, it’s equal with you hoping Heath Ledger to live up from his grave again, healthily. Setidaknya, mereka pasti pernah kan ngerasain gimana kalau semua orang memojokkan mereka untuk sesuatu yang sebenernya ngga mereka lakukan. Liat deh sekarang betapa kasiannya Zaskia Mecca, dihujat sana-sini hanya karena ada satu anjing gila yang ambil foto dia diem-diem [stinky coward, eh?] waktu dia ngerokok di sela-sela syuting. Hey, get real man, she bought the cigar w/ her own fucking money, she didn’t borrow yours either. So what if she smokes? I smoke too. You got problem w/ that? If so, tell me your number and I’ll arrange the date of the battle! Atau contoh lainnya, apa urusannya kalau gw balik lagi deket sama oang yang dulu pernah ribut sama gw? Apa urusannya kalo gw bisa rekonsiliasi relationship gw dengan dia dan mulai menjalin yang baru? Sirik? Iri? Dengki? Atau sekedar jealous karena anjing-anjing kudisan itu ngga bisa berbuat hal yang sama kaya gw? [Ya iyalaaah, mana ada sih yang bisa nyamain Iwed? Wakakakakak….].

Itu intinya, selama apa yang kita lakuin ngga ngerugiin orang lain, selama ini sah-sah aja, selama ini ngga melanggar hukum, apa gunanya sih anjing-anjing kudisan bersusah payah menyisihkan waktu [berharga??] mereka mengendus urusan orang? Like you don’t have a life to run… As for now, I heavily doubt that. Dari mulai yang masih single sampe yang udah merit, sampe yang lagi hamil [Duh, amit-amiiit… Ngga takut ya mba karma nya jatuh ke janinmu?], bahkan sampe yang udah beranak-pinak [Nah ini baru yang paling ngga tau diri. Ketauan kalo single waktunya masih lebih lowong, kalo udah beranak coba? Anak loe mau tiap hari dikasih makan suguhan infotainment?].

Hey, life is more beautiful than you know. I curse a lot at work, I curse anything from my never-ending work till my irritating colleagues. But I never spend my day busy wondering what’s new in other’s life? Who’s the victim of today’s-sniffing-other’s-business topic or what will be the funniest nickname to him/her so people won’t notice whom we’re actually talking when we’re gossiping him/her?

Sometimes… No, I mean most of the times reality can be the biggest strike to put those smelly dogs get back to earth. Dunia berputar Pe! Saat ini bisa jadi anjing-anjing itu ada diatas angin, berputar-putar melayang membuntuti mangsa-mangsa nya seperti unwanted spooky shadows. But once reality hits you down, hohoho…


So… I’m not a wise nor a polite person. I harsh, I rude and I speak spontaneous cursings. I cannot give you good advice as I also won’t spend my precious time reminding some brainless shitheads like you. Perhaps I just can say

MYOFB !!!!

That’s all for today, ladies [baca:]. Enjoy sniffing my business if you feel really irritated by this writing of mine. I’m sure you’re now starting to think of getting me even. I’ll let you have the best news of mine that you could sniff. Coz I’m cool… As always.



PS -->> This writing is also dedicated to one of my best colleagues. Buat elo Cong, keep smiling ya no matter what those bitches say shit about you. They are just bunch of the incapables, inside and outside.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Frustating silence.

Ngga asik?!


Monday, July 14, 2008

Against the world.

HE is the only friend I have, I trust and I rely on.

And HE has sent him to this world as my guardian angel.

Thank you, Lord… Thanks for giving me a chance to love and to be loved.

Even if we have to fight the world,

Who’s against us.

Monday, June 30, 2008


I feel amazed seeing Nisa’s wedding gift, it’s not the thing that amazed me, but what were written on it. The gift was a notebook, standard kind of a gift. What makes it different is that there are three kinds of quotes that were put in it. They said:

“Engkau adalah teman jiwaku yang hilang, setengah diriku yang dipisahkan saat ditetapkan [Kahlil Gibran]”

And there’s another one,

“When you are down to nothing, God is up to something.”

And the last is my fave. I lost my breath when reading it,

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly [Keen]”

Suddenly somehow I feel gifted. I feel blessed by finding him now into my life. Somehow I found out that he’s far from the word “perfection”. But since I and he were united, he still remains imperfect, but the love, the relationship, the affection, the trustworthiness and the faith we both have to then we combined are amazingly be seen as a fully perfected form of reality. As we complete each other, learn to grow tolerances inside us and to throw egos that we’re having. It’s not as easy as saying it. It takes much sacrificing to do such things, but I know I have faith in him. I know that I believe him and I know that I can rely on him. I will cover his “holes” and so does him to mine. That’s supposed of what partners are for, isn’t it?

After the party was done, we sat together in the lobby. Then I said,

“This party is super cool…”, he agreed me, and then he continued,

“I don’t know whether I could make this kind of party in the future for you.”

“What for, I don’t need the package. I need the essence.”

No, Love… I need no luxury. I need the imperfect you, so the imperfect me could tick her heart with yours perfectly. Remember what Gibran said,

“Love is like one soul trapped in two bodies.”

And he didn’t mention about perfection, coz we don’t need that. Perfection will only blunting our sensitivities and senses.

So keep being imperfect Love and I will still know the reason why I should stay beside you.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Speak to the hand.


Popcorn’s ready.

Soda’s still sparkling.

And he’s now beautifully undressed.

Please do not stop bluffing.

Deeply sorry, though.

I have another thing to do with this guy.

Yet, I have put my hand on you.

Don’t worry.

I’ll be back.




Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Yang adalah milikku.

Kau pikir buat apa aku tak beranjak dari peraduan biru yang kini sedang kau percikan noda darah diatasnya dengan rona benci berbau tengik di sekelilingnya? Kau pikir setan apa yang merasuki tiap desah nafas yang ku curi untuk kemudian aku buang dalam dengusan rendah penuh gurauan demi melihatmu menari-nari dalam siluet hitam tak berwajah dan hilang begitu saja dalam satu desiran angin? Kau berkelakar jenaka tentang bagaimana seorang wanita telah menodai dirinya sendiri diatas panggung penuh dengan ribuan pasang mata rubah-rubah bedebah yang menatap nanar sang wanita yang sedang memperagai bagaimana ia tekah mengubur dalam-dalam hati kecilnya demi mencicipi bagaimana rasanya seonggok nafsu benci, membenci dan dibenci itu. Dia pun [membiarkan dirinya] ternoda dalam kubangan takdir tanpa pernah mengecap arti sebuah rasa dan perasaan.

Kau kira buat apa aku memasang telinga tajam-tajam dan membuka mataku lebar-lebar untuk memperhatikanmu – masih tetap ditempatku semula – melucuti satu persatu pakaianmu di depanku dan memperlihatkan ketelanjangan memprihatinkan yang membuatku terpekur merenung tentang kekuasaan sekaligus kekejaman Tuhan kepada siapapun makhluk yang telah Ia tandai? Kau kira surga mana yang sudi menampung tumpukan daging dan tulang belulang terbalut kulit yang mampu berjalan dan berotak namun tak mampu menemukan cara bagaimana menggunakannya selain untuk menyebarkan kebencian dan bau tengik itu sebisa yang dia mampu? Kau kira kejujuran apa yang sudi namanya kau pinjam untuk mencecerkan serpihan harga dirimu yang tercabik-cabik di ujung jurang di bawah langit? Kau kira sehebat apa panca indera bisa membawamu ke puncak atmosfir bumi jika keberanian urung membantumu melaksanakan skenario alam yang bisa membuatmu bertahan? Kau kira sejauh mana kau bisa melangkahkan kakimu diatas angin jika malaikat telah enggan berdekatan dengan kenistaan bau tengikmu yang telanjang merebak dan mematikan nafas sang semilir?

Kau kira kenapa mereka melakukan semua itu padamu diam-diam dan tanpa aba-aba?

Peringatan telah datang padamu agar kau menyudahi tarian telanjangmu itu demi meraih dan mendapatkan apa yang seharusnya tidak [akan] ada dalam lembar kisah perjalananmu ke alam kubur, setelah sebelumnya bongkah kebencian bau tengik itu menggerogoti tiap inci dirimu dan setelah sesudahnya tak lain dan tak bukan kau akan dikenang sebagai “si bongkah kebencian bau tengik dan telanjang memprihatinkan yang mati diatas panggung saat menari bersama bom waktu yang dengan sadar tidak ia sadari kian hari kian menjerat nadi lehernya dan menebas hidupnya hanya dengan satu kali ledakan.”.

Kau kira kenapa kau bisa mati begitu mudah? Ku pikir karena kau mencoba menghalangi segala rasa – di luar kebencian berbau tengik – melingkupi peraduanku dan bersanding bersamaku, yang [seharusnya] adalah milikku.


*kau kira…? Aah, temukan dulu bagaimana cara mengombinasikan dan menggunakan bongkahan daging, tulang belulang terbalut kulit itu bersama otakmu, setelah itu mengira lah.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Some things worth sacrificing.

“Some things worth sacrificing”, words of wisdom said. That’s what I’m feeling right now, been struggling with all blood, tears and power I have now to open people’s eyes so they can see what I believe and how strong my belief is. Last weekend was a rough weekend for me. I don’t know how much tears I’ve spared to convince them that I’ve made my decision and to tell them that I don’t have any purpose except good will for my future. I’ve been crying and crying with moaning voice that I am no longer a kid and I’m able to think with my own brain and see with my own vision and finally take my own conclusion and so I will live with it and take any good and bad thing I have to face as my risk, with relieving heart and mind. I don’t and never want to see anyone gets hurt, especially those who I love. But I’m sorry, I’m SORRY… I can’t lie, I can’t pretend and, I can’t deny about what I feel. I’m not good at lying anyway. Anyone I can blame about my honesty? Is it my parents, my teacher or my religious teacher, or is it me? Is it me to blame for the courage I have to sound my feeling and be honest with myself?

I get shocked, I’m out of focus and I grieve. Please… please look at me for a while. Please see me and hear me as person, not as any status you’re seeing me holding with. Please open the door of your hearts even just a little bit, even if you just share a bit space for your eyes to see what’s outside your locked doors, to see the world outside isn’t just as large as you gardens. Please melt your hearts a bit to feel a tad of warmness, even if you never get used of it and you will run for a colder room or sunglasses. Please put your foots on my shoes for five minutes, even if you think that it’s too small or even too large for your size. Please be ME for a second, and you will know, you will feel and you will understand, even if I know that you will get and understand not more than 5% of a whole me. But at least you will think that it’s not EASY to be me, it’s not easy when all you think is right is always seen wrong to anybody else. Even when finally I could prove the best result I could reach from my decision, you were too proud of yourselves to admit that I was right at the beginning. You were too selfish to nod your heads to show that you were agree with my actions.

I don’t need anything except your good wishes upon me, your trust upon my belief, your support upon my decision. I have good will, so I have to go on with it in also good ways. And ALL I need from you is just ONE thing; your blessing upon me. Then I smile, then I can prove that with my decision, I can make you smile. Then I can make all of you smile, I will smile for I know that I’m seizing my future with someone that can make me smile. And my future will smile at me.

Some things worth sacrificing, please be kindly consider it, all.