Saturday, September 30, 2006

Heavenly Heaven

Heaven reveals in the vague sight

Lay down...the self remains breathless

Smile for the head spinning roller coaster

A delicate avidity...

A bitter sweet fantasy...

A chilled passionate smile...

Coalesce with a brittle soul flying high...

As the lazy body fulfilled with satisfaction

These eyes discreetly closed, heading to a dream-nation

- Goddess -

Darkness Falls

Quick inhale...Strengthened heart

A flash memory of a miserable part

Got nowhere to run

Seen nothing to find

Had no place to hide

Held nothing inside

Heart beat run along with the hand shakes

Falling tears headed me to a sorrow land

Buried deep inside

Forever will hide

In never ending dark

That lights your path

- Goddess -

Monday, September 04, 2006


This confusion drives me nut


Those chores ruin my normality


Hhh...I'm wordless



If it comes the time for me to do my deed

My brain just couldn't stop to consider

Stop yelling! I already know it

Put your expectation lower

I did get some triumphs

Couple times I made them proud

But I also had my breakdown

The feeling when suddenly the sky falls through me

And the world just wouldn't stop mocking at me

Now, tell me one thing...

How am I supposed to deal with all these?

Great! What a beautiful life I live in

Being buried under my unwanted duties

Please, bother me not...

Give me a time to drown in the world of the unknown

This madness has to be stopped

Now scram, you! Leave me alone...

- Goddess -

Back to campus...

Routine...welcome board
Knock knock brain, wake up baby
Time to work again...harder
Make my grade better

Well hello folks,
Some look fatter, other look slimmer...
Some even getting hotter (dude!!)
The hell...still missing them after all

Aloha classes,
You're the only thing that looks stagnant
No progress...did the air conditioner has been replaced?
Oh, come on!
I paid too much that actually each class could have a flat screen!

Aawwkkh...not those lecturers again!
They even couldn’t see that I have an IQ of 117!
" "B" again?"
"Yeah, mam...the test wasn't for my level"
Uhm..what was that? A quantitative stat?
Yeah rite, kill me...
Did the IQ test give the wrong result for me?

Oh, look! What happen to my campus?
Is it becoming smaller or the principle thought we have too many space for playing card?
They built more constructions, fostered our loatheness
How about shrinking the priciple's tire again? That would be nice

Nu term, nu spirit
Nu joy
Nu boy (?)


- Goddess -

Deja Vu

Sunday Evening, 3.14 pm

Sitting in my bed...
The bed i used to sleep in 8 months ago
Feels like i'm having a Deja Vu...
The tape of my life is rewinding once more
Birds singing...Wind blowing...Trees dancing...
Hot summer-sun greets me through my dorm window
She smiles, showing her super-flashy light
Welcoming me back...

A year more of struggling
A year more of sucking my parents' money
A year more of going to college

3.16 pm

it's quiet...Peacefully quiet
i take a far-away look to the bluish sky
i used to stare at the cloud's shapes
But now, there's no - even a single - cloud up there
it's a fair sky...Peacefully fair sky

3.17 pm

Here comes Adzan...
Two hours since my mom left from my dorm
it's a strange feeling...i miss her already
My eyes are now getting burned
Silly me! Why do i have to cry?
Being stucked in my home just for 3 months and now suddenly i'm becoming a homy?
Hmph...This sucks! Breath, Wed...Breath
it's time to get out once more from ur cage and go back to your nature

3.20 pm

Feels like it's going to be a tough life this year
Call your God's name & your parents' name, Wed...
Stand up...
it's Ashar...

- Goddess -

Sunday, September 03, 2006


Otakku kacau, galau terhalau bara
Menghitung jumlah degup jantung...
Yang entah bagaimana bersatu dengan lambung
Seperti pusaran mesin cuci
Aku ingin muntah, aku ingin pingsan
Memikirkan yang "tak terpikirkan"

Ini sudah jam 2, mengapa jam di dinding itu tak bisa diam?
Dan mengapa air mata ini juga tak bisa diam?
Menggenang di ujung jurang jiwa...
Seperti kristal mati tak berarti

Bila saatnya tiba, mungkin aku akan menyerah
Mengusung bendera putih dengan teriakan "berakhir saja sudah!"
Biar aku sulam jaring-jaring hidup ini sendiri
Kan ku buat benteng diri semu tak terjamah

Koyakan membekas ini
Jadi saksi kekejaman satu kata terbungkus dasar makna bernama cinta
Pasrahlah wahai Dewa!
Cinta tidak selalu indah bagi semua insan ada
Bagai mata air jernih..
Namun banyak kerikil tajam menusuk
Bagai angkasa indah tak terkata
Namun tak ada ruang daya menghirup udara

Sudikah anak hawa mati tanpa cinta?
Bertanya pada satu persoalan semesta
Mencari jati pada diri yang fana

Jantungku masih berdegup...
Air mata masih menghangat...
Aku tak tidur, tak pula terjaga
Aku ada dalam ketiadaan, atau tidak ada diantara keduanya?

Tidak indah, tidak hina
Tidak salah, tidak dosa
Tak diantara keduanya...

- Goddess -