Thursday, June 24, 2010

Things I can do again post delivery.

I once said that being pregnant can officially bound you in an absolute way, in every way. You have to put your pregnancy above all your priorities and no compromise for it. I was there not so long ago. I had to put aside several of my fave things that could harm my baby. Yet in other way, my baby made me learn to be more tolerant and reduce my selfishness and self-centered as well (thank you, my handsome! Love you sooooo...)

And now, I have my Little Rayyan born safely and healthily to this world. Though I still have to control the dosage of consuming and wearing these things while I am still breastfeeding him, yet I'm now back to be able to do these things without being worried too much. Those are:

1. Sushi.
Yes. I'm sooo crazy about Sushi, especially Tekka Maki and Spicy Salmon Roll. I fancy Sashimi also. They are all sooo delicious and I can't picture myself get bored with those. But ever since I got pregnant, Sushi was forbidden to be eaten by me. Or it should be... Yet once and twice I still ate those foods when being pregnant, LOL. Well, I've said I never get bored with Sushi, wasn't I? ;P

2. High heeled shoes.

I used to be a girl who hated to wear hi-heels. Thanks to the table manner course on the class when I was still at college, I suddenly felt comfort wearing them. Moreover, when at work, wearing hi-heels is like a "uniform" for my girl colleagues.

3. Headbanging.
Stiffed neck is a proper payback after headbanging. But one thing you can't pay is the satisfaction when doing it. I could harm my baby inside my embryo if I did it back then when I was pregnant. But now... It's free!!! ;P

4. Durian
The heat produced by Durian made me have to stop munching one of my fave fruits; DURIAN. It's bcoz it could harm my embryo. Several pregnant ladies lost their babies after eating too much Durian and most of them who didn't realize that they were pregnant. And when realized it, it's a little too late :( So yes, avoid Durian when you're pregnant, ladies.

5. Black Coffee.
Did not really know the harmfulness of drinking black coffee, but IMO, black coffee consists of much more harmful substances than other kinds of drinks like tea or creamed coffee.

6. Legging
It was simply becoz my fat wide bubbling tummy did not fit in with the common-size of legging. LMAO.

And how about you, Mommies? ;)

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Life... Oh life.

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot doot dooo.
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot dooo

One of my fave songs by Desree... Yeps. Sometimes life can make us say "Oh" or "Yeah" or maybe we could just sigh about it. Life is a teacher, a game, a circuit, an insane existence, a roller coaster. Things change, so do people. And mine is one of them.

I never could figure how my life could be in the next year or in the next day. I remember the first time I opened an account here in Multiply, I was just a student and still got lots of academic achievements to reach. It was 4 years ago. And look at me now.

Married. A new mom. A good job (Alhamdulillah) and no longer a vocalist of Gelap.  Who could predict that? The ups and downs I've been through. And I can never be any more thankful to Allah for what I have achieved until now.

When the first time I met Die on June 2007, was when I watched his ex-band's gig - Purgatory - at Bulungan with some random friends who - ironically - have been separated now. Only one left to be my purest friend among the rest. Frankly speaking, I never had any special feeling to him. He's nice of course, but that was it. I had set my mind that I will only treat him like my other boy friends. He was (and still is) one of the purest boy friends of mine. Never had any hidden meaning when running the friendship with me. His ignorance yet gentle attitude. His down-to-earth style. His good and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. All of them make me - and maybe his other friends - comfortable to hang out with him. Who knows what will happen to us?

And now he is my husband.

When I was still at colleague, I and my besties sometimes wondered who will be the first one to get married. Those with unclear love status (and it was often me. Hahaha) were considered as those who will get married the latest. With my track record in love relationship, I failed many times. I'm not like Dian, the one who has been in relationship with her boyfriend (and now has become her husband) for 10 years! Or I'm not like Rae, the most picky girl I've ever known. For 6 years in colleague, she never had a boyfriend. Just a lil crush to this boy and a bit flirting to that man... But none left on her heart until she met Sidi, her husband now. Me? Oh, the dumb ass adventurer who will always ended up alone and broken. Yeah, I don't belong to hurt but belong to be broken (damn!).

Yet apparently, I was the second person among my six besties who found my soulmate and got married.

When being offered a job in my office at 2007, I didn't have a good feeling that I could improve my career here, regarding that the company I am working for is one if the biggest companies in Indonesia. At that time, I still studied at colleague and put my work as my second priority, because I still had to finish my final paper in order to graduate. Let alone the love relationship. Ever since I broke up with my serious ex-bf in 2006, I never... I repeat, I NEVER met a good man. I met lots of them, flirted and dated some of them, but they are all jerks. Until I met Die on 2007. So fuck romance at that time. I put my priority to my final paper and in improving my career. The first position I came into was being a receptionist. Not much work to do, did not have to go overtime, but had to have a big BIG heart and a wide WIDE smile. I didn't complain anyway, with a loose job, I could sneakingly do my final paper while at work. And Alhamdulillah I could do it. Who knows that in the next month the HR Manager offered me for another position?

And now I have become the secretary of a Chief Communications & Administration Officer and do several stuffs of Public Relations duties, my field of expertise.

I love music. I do sing and I played guitar a bit in high school. I always  desire to have a band. I have been in several bands until now. Pop, alternative and the latest was progressive gothic metal. I firstly met this (used-to-be) friend of mine at Senayan on June 2007, when we were watching a metal gig. She just formed a new band named Gelap then she gave me their single titled "Ashes". Frankly speaking, I did love the song. Not so long after that, she came to me and asked me to follow the audition for the second vocal in her band. Surprisingly, I was looking for friends to form a band after I graduated. Felt like fate, or maybe it was, I joined Gelap on July 2007. Lots of gigs, lots of new friends from the scene, lots of upsets for the jaded fee or the jaded gig committees, lots of member and manager changing. Who knows what will happen 3 years later?

I was disbanded from the band for - IMO - purely personal reasons from her. I decided to cut  all form of relationship with her ever since.

Several years ago, I always thought that having kids is a disaster! Getting married is a suicide (Just like her writing. So representative. Like it a lot, sistah!). No more freedom in this world, my world. After getting married, I and Die had agreed to cancel the pregnancy. We wanted to extend our dating term and had fun as much as we could. But Lord, a motherhood is really a natural sense inside every woman alive, no matter how tomboy, how metal and how independent she is. Two months after married, I BADLY craved for baby.

And now I have the most-handsome gorgeous creature on earth I can call as my child, Rayyan Widi Alastair.

Life. One I consider as a huge game of God. A game I must win. A game I must succeed in facing all the obstacles and booby traps inside it. A game I should find the runaway exit with a ticket written "Heaven" on it.

Life. The most logic thing that often drives people mad and un-logic. When foes become friends and friends become foes. Many things of life we cannot find the answer. It's beyond our competence. It's when God works.

But one thing I still believe in life is... miracle. When nothing else is sane enough to accept, miracle completes it. And I'm thankful for my miracles; Die, Little Rayyan, my besties ,time, heart and wounds inside it.

"Time heals all wounds" -- Kikan Namara of Cokelat.