This is really a big steppingstone for me. I'm goin to start it just in the minute-counting later. But even until this very second I'm not sure whether I am ready for it. I'm not sure whether I can face with it and deal with all things whatsoever. This is so embarrassing! I lose before I fight, this is so not me. I think it will be better if I know nothing about the situation that is running there before I'd say "Yes" then have been knowing it for... well, for this long time!!
I'm panic, I'm confused. But there, my tongue already said the agreement coz at that time I didn't see anything except chance, a good one. Before then I realized with what kind of "thing" I will be dealing with... Oh geez I'm getting weaker, or getting afraid. Afraid of change, afraid of challenge, afraid of getting out from my lullabying comfort zone and finally get to know what "real" life is. Oh God I'm not ready, I'm so not ready... I feel like I've been throwing into a chaos war empty-handed and without any tactics.
Breathe... just breathe...
+++Written on Feb 25, 08+++