[Deathlust] 666!

Don't judge by the title, I'm not worshiping satan (God forbid!). The title means that on April 4, Deathlust has enter its 6th wedding anniversary! Yeaaaay... Six six six!

I won't go bragging about how much I've known my own man. No. I still need to dig deeper to know a man who's been marrying me for the past 6 years and for me, that is the excited part of marriage. I always spare some space for mystery to make me keep wondering, guessing or even suspecting things about him, just to make sure that I still have that jealousy feeling toward him even though we've been together for a long time. But of  course honesty and communication come first. I'm not saying that I'm good at communicating either (though it's my background education, lol), but I always try to learn that communication doesn't always have to be talk, talk, talk and no listening. I've learned that when I agree to get married, it means that I agree to put aside my ego to do everything i want because every decision that i will make has to be 'legalized' first with my husband. His permission is my blessing. I learn many other good things though sometimes they're hard to do. I learn how to be more patient. I learn how to be more tolerant. I learn to listen more. I learn to give without expecting to receive. I learn how to multitask. I learn to be supportive and so on.

I'm fully aware that I'm a little childish comparing to my husband. I get cranky easily. I'm careless sometimes. When being mad, I tend to remain silent and let him figure it out by himself with the absence of my cheerfulness. I'm reactive with things that bother me and still lots more. But they won't stop me from being a better person each day; To be the best 'first lady' to him. Six years is not a long time, i want it to last for 60 years and more (by Allah's permission, aamiin..). I want our family to be the best home we ever dreamed of. I want our family to be the best school that could teach us about life and love, to God and to the fellow being, and I want my family to be the most comfortable playground for us to have fun. And to achieve all that, I must be able to work as a team, as a partner, as a friend - to him.

Grilled lamb, i chose the loin / back meat. Soooo delicious!

Anyway, our anniversary day was kinda cool. We didn't celebrate much. My hubby just took me to have a (late) lunch to Kambing Bakar Cairo in Kelapa Gading. He's been aiming the restaurant for months and we just had time yesterday to try it. We talked about lot of things about us like the way we used to talk to know each other more, back then when we're still lovers. We talked about work, goals, our kids till stupid jokes (as usual, lol).

Us in Kambing Bakar Cairo, Kelapa Gading

Good thing bout being an art lover who's marrying an art lover as well... We thought that we should come out with something. Some "announcement" to the world about this wedding anniversary. So, he just bought us 2 pairs of Converse All Star, with AC/DC theme on it (so excited! thanks, duduls), and we thought, "Why don't we take pictures together wearing these shoes? The philosophy of it is that the new shoes are our new spirit and hope to be able to keep walking in the path God has set to us as marriage couple. And to make sure that we're walking on the right side". So then after coming home from our lunch, we took pictures of our happy little feet - wearing our happy little Converses :D

“Wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik. Lelaki yang baik untuk wanita yang baik pula (begitu pula sebaliknya). Bagi mereka ampunan dan reski yang melimpah (yaitu:Surga)” [QS. An Nuur (24):26].

G.

[Sharing] How I manage my breastmilk

 Assalamu'alaikum daydreamers <3

Haduuuuh gila ya. Gue lama-lama meragukan kemampuan gue nulis blog lagi kalo begini seretnya ide-ide untuk topik apa yang bisa gue posting di blog. Padahal sebenarnya ilhamnya banyak sih dari mana-mana. Kayanya emang masalahnya di gue deh, yang udah moody-an banget buat nulis. Atau salahnya di Instagram dan Path, karena sekarang gue lebih suka update di dua socmed itu. Lebih simple, praktis, gak ribet, hehehe....

Bae'laaaah bae'laaah, masalahnya emang di gue. Gue PEMALAS sejak beranak-pinak. Admit defeat.

Eniwey, topik soal ASI ini emang udah sejak lama pengen gue bahas di blog, since so many of my socmed friends have been asking me of how I manage my breastmilk till I need 2 freezers to store them all. Alhamdulillahi rabbil aalamiin... Puji syukur kepada Allah, hanya karena ijin-Nya ASI gue bisa berlimpah untuk Andri. The opposite story with my first child - Rayyan.

Waktu melahirkan Rayyan, walaupun akhirnya sukses menyusui dia sampai 2 tahun, struggle gue untuk bisa memberikan ASI ke si kriwil sungguh luar biasa. Mulai dari menyerah kepada sufor selama 2 minggu, konsul ke Counselor Laktasi sampe sempet kepikiran untuk cari donor ASI via milis AsiForBaby. Entah karena faktor apa pastinya, tapi setengahnya gue yakin karena ketidaktahuan, emosi yang tidak stabil dan ketidakpercayaan diri. I was a newbie in the jungle called 'motherhood'. Almarhum mama yang walaupun seorang bidan, tapi dulunya bukan militan ASI (yes, gue semasa kecil anak campuran ASI-Sufor), Papa bukan tipe yang ngurus soal begitu-begituan, suami juga masih buta soal per-ASI-an. Jadilah gue berada di lingkungan yang bukan 'keluarga ASI'. Tapi untuk Andri, berbekal pengalaman waktu meng-ASI Rayyan, Alhamdulillah manajemen ASI gue udah jauh lebih baik. Emosi terjaga, kepercayaan diri (dalam memberikan ASI ke anak) stabil dan lingkungan keluarga pun sudah lebih aware akan pentingnya mendukung busui untuk terus konsisten meng-ASI anak mereka sampai 2 tahun.

Let's get back to the main topic. Sebenernya gue gak gape untuk kasih 'pelajaran', 'lesson' atau whatever that name is. Bukan jiwa pengajar, hehehe... Jadi mungkin gue tulis dalam bentuk sharing aja ya, dan silakan teman-teman ambil pelajaran positif yang bisa di adaptasi untuk kelancaran proses meng-ASI nya, baik yang SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) & WM (Working Mom). Menurut gue, baik SAHM dan WM perlu untuk punya stok ASIP. Kalau untuk WM, jelas ya stok ASIP itu wajib hukumnya, karena kan kita bekerja. Tapi untuk SAHM, menyetok ASI juga hukumnya fardhu 'ain (hehehe), karena kan kita gak pernah tahu kondisi kedepannya. Mungkin akan ada saat dimana kita harus meninggalkan bayi kita dalam waktu yang cukup lama misalnya, atau kalau (ketok-ketok meja) kita sakit yang lumayan parah dan perlu perawatan intensif di rumah sakit, otomatis kita gak bisa menyusui anak kita. Nah disitulah stok ASIP berguna, for urgent situation. Jadi salah banget kalo ada yang menganggap SAHM ngga perlu nyetok ASIP. Okay, back to topic!

Dimulai dari hari kedua setelah gue melahirkan Andri. 24 jam setelah operasi caesar kan kita udah diperbolehkan berdiri, jalan, mandi eksetera-eksetera ya. Nah, saat itu gue udah mulai siap sedia botol susu kosong untuk merah ASI. Di dalam tas persiapan labor gue, gue membawa kurang lebih 6 botol untuk stok pertama ASIP gue selama di rumah sakit. Belajar dari pengalaman melahirkan Rayyan yang dimana dia harus di blue light selama 24 jam karena bilirubinnya tinggi dan gue belum ada stok ASIP, akhirnya 24 jam setelah melahirkan Andri gue langsung mulai memerah ASI dirumah sakit - yang untungnya sangat berguna, karena ternyata Andri pun juga harus di blue light selama 24 jam. Selama di blue light kan kita gak boleh menyusui langsung si anak agar proses blue light berjalan dengan efektif, jadi kita harus siap2 perah ASI untuk diberikan ke si baby selama dia di blue light. Yaps, you have to start something to achive something. Goal gue adalah supaya ASI gue berlimpah untuk Andri, dan gue tau gue harus mulai secepatnya untuk bisa achieve itu. Rumus ASI itu sebenarnya simple; produce by demand: Means the more you pump your breastmilk / latch your baby (demand), the more milk will be produced. Dan itu benar adanya, terbukti sangat-sangat efektif untuk kasus gue. Terhitung sejak pertama gue melahirkan sampai detik ini, gue selalu memerah ASI setiap 3 - 4 jam sekali. Sangat jarang kedodoran sampai jeda lebih dari 4 jam, kecuali ada kondisi-kondisi tertentu.

Semua pasti awalnya sulit, I know. I've been there. Susah sekali me-manage untuk bisa memerah setiap 4 jam sekali berbarengan dengan menyusui langsung si anak. Hey, it's not impossible, though. Selama kemauan kita kuat. Rahasianya adalah, dalam sehari gue menyusui Andri di 1 payudara, sedangkan payudara lain khusus untuk diperah. Keesokan harinya gantian, payudara yang sebelumnya untuk memerah berganti untuk disusui. Begitu seterusnya, sampe sekarang. Banyak mommies yang bilang bayi cowo & cewe beda, bayi cowo biasanya minum ASI lebih banyak dari bayi cewe. Somehow, gue setuju dengan ini, walau gue gak bisa menjelaskan secara logis kenapa begitu. Biasanya gue akan selalu keluar dengan statement, "Well, boys like boobies ever since they were born, till they die.", lol! Bener toh gue? hehehe... Eniwey, gue setuju dengan anggapan bahwa baby boy menyusu lebih banyak daripada baby girl karena gue sudah pernah menyusui both sexes. Dan memang Rayyan menyusu lebih kenceng daripada Andri, satu hal juga yang buat manajemen ASI gue ke Rayyan berantakan. Tapi masih bisa di akali kok.

Kayanya gue harus write down "tips and tricks" menyusui-memerah ini supaya lebih gampang dimengerti deh. I don't know if I can do it, but here we go!

• Menyusuilah kapanpun si baby memintanya dan berhentilah kapanpun si baby kenyang. Jangan pernah memberikan jam-jam khusus untuk menyusui si baby! Satu, itu bisa memicu baby dehidrasi / kekurangan gizi / mudah rewel / tidur ngga nyenyak, yang kedua juga membuat kelenjar-kelenjar penghasil ASI di badan jadi 'malas' produksi susu lagi. Ingat selalu ya rumus ASI kita tadi: produce by demand. Jangan pernah takut ASI kita akan habis! Allah selalu tahu yang Dia lakukan pada ciptaan-Nya. ASI adalah ciptaan-Nya, dan di Qur'an pun sudah ada surat yang ditafsirkan bahwa Ibu harus menyusui anaknya sampai maksimal 2 tahun. Jadi ASI kita (pasti) cukup untuk 2 tahun, Mommies. HE knows what HE'S doing... Don't be afraid, be confident!

• Dalam sehari, menyusuilah anak di satu payudara (misalnya kanan), dan perah ASI di payudara yang satu lagi (misalnya kiri). Esok harinya gantian, menyusu di PD (payudara) kiri, perah ASI di PD kanan. Begitu terus dan lakukan secara konsisten. Kalau perlu pasang alarm setiap 4 jam sekali - seperti gue, walau tengah malam buta pun gue bela-belain bangun untuk perah ASI. I know it's hard, but it's the art of being a mother, yang suatu hari saat mengenangnya kita akan merasa bangga. It works for me, it might work for you too ^^
• Kalau seandainya si baby belum puas menyusu di 1 PD (misal: kanan), susui dia di PD yang lain (kiri). Tidak apa-apa kok, tapiiii setelah menyusu tetap di perah ya (PD kirinya). Habiskan sisa-sisa ASI yang ada didalamnya. Setelah itu hitung lagi 4 jam sebelum kita perah lagi. Si baby kembali menyusu di PD kanan (yang pasti sudah terisi ASI lagi).
• Jangan pernah hitung-hitungan kita dapat berapa ml sekali perah, apalagi membanding-bandingkan dengan busui lain. Satu (mungkin satu-satunya) hal negatif yang gue lihat di milis-milis ASI adalah kadang busui-busui yang ASInya banyak suka 'pamer' berapa banyak ASIP yang mereka dapat untuk sekali perah. Sebenarnya sih gak apa-apa juga, mungkin hal tersebut bisa boost up kepercayaan diri mereka kedepannya. Tapi harus hati-hati juga ya untuk tidak menyinggung atau memerosotkan kepercayaan diri busui lain yang ASI nya belum sebanyak / selancar mereka. Saling memberikan semangat itu yang paling baik deh menurut gue. Jangan jadi busui yang judgmental terhadap busui lain yang ASInya masih seret, masih belum bisa memanage ASIP mereka, etc. Karena keberhasilan menyusui itu 70% nya karena kepercayaan diri dan rasa nyaman dengan lingkungan. Sisanya baru sistem metabolisme tubuh masing-masing.
• Percaya diri. Selalu ingatkan diri kita sendiri bahwa breastfeeding is a natural thing to every woman. Sama naturalnya dengan hamil & melahirkan. Sesuatu yang pasti bisa kita lakukan. Anggap saja iklan-iklan sufor itu sampah, jangan pernah tergoda ya moms. Good things take time & energy. Gak selamanya yang instan itu enak, kecuali I*domie goreng :D
• Water intake. water intake and water intake! Sehari, gue bisa menghabiskan 4 - 5 liter air. Yes, sejatinya gue emang freak dengan air putih. Jadi hayooo mommies yang sebelumnya gak doyan minum air putih, sekarang harus giat. Trust me, it helps a lot Sayuran hijau & kacang-kacangan juga membantu. Gue pribadi lebih suka bayam & bok choy daripada katuk, apapun itu selama namanya sayuran hijau pasti membantu. Gue kurang suka kacang-kacangan, jadi biasanya gue beli kacang almond / kacang hijau aja buat cemilan. Oh iya, wheat juga bagus.
• Untuk suplemen / minuman / makanan penambah ASI macam pil, herbal tea, fenugreek sampe yeast, sebenernya kalo untuk gue sih gak ngaruh ya. Jaman menyusui Rayyan gue udah beli Mol*cco & fenugreek tea tapi gak ngefek apa-apa tuh. Tapiiiii, kalau memang dengan mengonsumsi merk-merk tersebut bisa memberikan sugesti yang mampu meningkatkan kepercayaan diri mommies, sok atuh di konsumsi. Errr.. Gue kurang menyarankan yeast ya tapi, itu ragi soalnya. Kalau dari sudut pandang Islam kan kayanya ngga disarankan ya mengonsumsi ragi apalagi dalam jumlah yang banyak.
• Kalau berada di lingkungan keluarga yang buta soal per-ASI-an, segeralah lakukan sesuatu. Yang gue lakukan waktu itu adalah ikut milis ASI (ASI For Baby) dan print semua artikel-artikel tentang ASI dan gue minta suami, mama-papa sampe nanny untuk baca. At least kalo mereka ngga baca semuanya, kita yang harus bawel infoin seputar laktasi ke mereka, minimal sampai mereka paham bahwa ASI itu sifatnya natural, bahwa semua Ibu pasti bisa menyusui selama didukung keluarga dan gak boleh gampang menyerang dengan yang namanya sufor. Jadikan keluarga kalian keluarga ASI.
• Minta dukungan suami, salah satunya dengan membelikan / menyewakan kita freezer khusus penyimpan ASI & wadahnya. Freezer ASI ada 2 jenis, yang satu freezer normal (seperti kulkas biasa, hanya khusus untuk freezer), yang 1 lagi deep freezer (yang biasanya di mini market buat menyimpan ice cream / nugget dkk-nya). Kebetulan gue punya 22nya, yang 1 gue beli second dari temen, yang 1 sewa disini (100 ribu saja per/bulan. Listrik cuma 100-120 watt). Untuk wadah menyimpan ASI ada 2; botol kaca UC & plastik ASI (khusus buat gue ada 3, satu lagi plastik polietilen (plastik gula) yang bahannya tebal & bagus. Tahan kok buat di suhu below 0' C). Masing-masing wadah ada kelebihan & kekurangannya. Botol: Kelebihannya bisa dipakai berulang kali. Harganya relatif terjangkau (kalo botol baru per/box nya bisa 60ribu isi 8-12. Kalau botol rekondisi lebih murah, per/botol cuma sekitar 3000-an), kelemahannya: Makan space agak boros di freezer & kalau kepenuhan isinya, biasanya ASIPnya bakal memuai terus botolnya pecah. Plastik ASI: Kelebihannya gak makan space banyak, harga perbungkusnya lebih murah daripada botol UC yang baru (Merk Natur antara 36 - 40ribu isi 30. Merk Gabag kurang lebih harganya sama), kelemahannya lebih gampang bocor kalau kondisi plastiknya gak bagus dan cuma bisa sekali pakai.

(Kiri) Deep freezer yang gue sewa, (Kanan) freezer ASI yang gue beli

• ASI lebih baik diperah pakai tangan melalui teknik marmet (Googling it, please). Kalau belum bisa, belajar! Seriously, breast pump itu kurang baik kalau dipakai terus-terusan di PD kita. Kalau dengan teknik marmet, yang kita pencet adalah aerola PD (bagian coklat di sekitar nipple), tempat si ASI berkumpul. Kalau breast pump menarik nipple, udah sakit, gak bagus juga karena lebih berpotensi bikin nipple luka, lecet dan breast pump tidak bisa sepenuhnya mengosongkan PD. Coba di tes, setelah perah pakai breast pump dan ASInya (sepertinya) gak keluar lagi, coba pencet aerola pakai jari. Dijamin ASI-nya masih keluar. Teknik marmet menjamin kita bisa kosongin PD kita, dan balik lagi ke rumus awal. Saat si kelenjar penghasil ASI 'tahu' bahwa kita 'membutuhkan' banyak ASI sampai bisa ngosongin PD, mereka akan mulai bekerja menghasilkan sebanyak yang kita ambil. Something you will hardly get if you use breastpump.
• Posisi latch on si bayi berperan penting bagi keberlangsungan menyusui. Biasanya, luka & lecet di nipple itu sebagian besar adalah efek dari posisi latch on yang salah. Posisi latch on yang benar adalah dagu bayi menempel ke PD, bibir atas dan bibir bawah bayi ada diluar (ngga mendelep didalam), dan si bayi menghisap aerola PD kita, bukan puting! (see the pic below)

• Pergi kemanapun, selalu bawa apron / nursing cover, cooler bag dengan ice bag yang beku & minimal 2 botol kosong untuk memerah. Stay consistent.
• Pilih tempat yang nyaman untuk memerah ASI. Ini lagi nih sebab kesusahan gue kasih ASI ke Rayyan. Jaman gue menyusui Rayyan, kantor gue belum menyediakan nursery room. Jadi gue terpaksa (dengan berat hati) pumping di rest room! Yes, can you imagine that? Preparing my baby's meals in the place where people throw 'garbage'. But I had no choice (and no room), so I pumped my milk there for two fucking years (Maaf ya Rayyan, hiks..). But the next time, I protested to the HR staff, telling that every working mother deserves a decent place for them to pump their breastmilk, so we got one - finally. A small meeting room was transformed to be a nursery room. Alhamdulillah... And you deserve it too, Mommies. If you still pump your milk in the improper place, send your complain letter to konseling@aimi-asi.org, they can help you sending request letter to the HR Dept in your office to facilitate all breastfeeding moms a proper, clean private room for them to pump their milk, attached with some law docs regarding the mommies' rights to breastfeed / pump their milk in between working hours. Harus berani, karena itu hak kita!

• Apalagi yaaa... Aduh, udah buntu :D

Yah, segitu dulu deh ya sharingnya. Masih belum nemu poin penting apalagi yang mau di share, kayanya poin-poin diatas sih udah cukup lengkap ya. Semoga bermanfaat, terutama buat memantapkan niat dalam memberikan ASI ke anak-anak kita. ASI terbukti adalah susu yang paling cocok buat anak kita, bahkan anak dengan keluhan alergi. Ibu yang menyusui lebih terlindungi dari bahaya kanker payudara, anak yang diberikan ASI lebih memiliki imune yang kuat dari berbagai penyakit, dan yang jelas ASI itu gratis dari Allah! Hari gini ya choy, liat price tag di sufor kalengan tuh kayanya pengen nyanyi lagunya Cita Citata sambil nepuk2 dompet gak sih? *saaakitnya tuh disini, didalam dompetku*

Kalau ada pertanyaan, do not hesitate to leave comments below. Oh iya just FYI, sebulan lagi Andri sudah setahun, sedangkan stok ASIP dia masih 2 freezer (Alhamdulillah). Beberapa kali ada teman yang butuh donor ASI tapi anaknya baby boy, terpaksa gue tolak. Kan sesuai ketentuan di agama Islam, harus hati2 sekali kalau mau jadi Ibu sesusuan. Dilihat dulu siapa anak yang mau disusui, agama & jenis kelaminnya. Kalau untuk baby girl muslim & butuh donor ASI, silakan kontak gue ya. Insya Allah masih ada lebihan ASIP yang bisa gue donorkan buat babygirl muslim yang membutuhkan.

Gotta go now. It feels so good to share something with you guys, esp. in the motherhood thingy. Mungkin next sharing gue bakal bicara tentang how to defrost your breastmilk freezer! Sounds okay, rite? ;)

Have a nice Monday, mommies! Bye.

G.

[The Day] Officially 30!

Alhamdulillah Allah has given (and is still giving) me a life full of blessings till this far. I only have one wish; to give me a healthy body & mind for many years to come, so I can keep taking care of my family - the most precious thing Allah ever gave me.

Happy rocking birthday, Iwed. Oh wait, that's me!

November 15 - The Scorpio girl!

 Officially 30. Officially happy!

★★★★★

Eat on your own plate.

some people are just plain shallow and mean they can't stand seeing everybody else's happy achievement. they'll see greener color when looking at someone's grass and it makes them feel unsatisfied. they whisper lies behind her back so others will turn around and stand against her though she didn't do anything wrong and remained harmless. they left her no space to defend herself and wherever she goes, others will throw cynical glance at her.

she gets fed up with this lousy cheerleader-type of bullying, it feels ridiculous and stupid. because it happens by a stupid reason. everyone has their own plate. she deserves the lunch menu on her plate that she has cook / bought and so do others. people can't just take her plate and eat her food by force or intentionally nudge down her plate and ruin the food she deserves to have.

you go for your own blessing and make yourself worthy of earning one. be thankful for the smallest thing you have instead of always comparing it to others' because it won't be enough for you until you own the universe - which by the way won't ever happen till the universe itself vanished. own your blessing and stop cursing the blessings other people are having while you're not. think again, have you make yourself worth it?

from now on, she won't be beaten up by some crappy cunning trick those mean people will do to her. i won't be beaten up by some crappy cunning trick those mean people will do to me.

eat on your own plate and leave mine... you wrinkly old hags. :)

G.

[Review] Lacuna Coil - Broken Crown Halo

 

 

I was so thrilled when Cristina Scabbia announced in her Instagram in the end of 2013 that Lacuna Coil will release their 7th album called Broken Crown Halo at the early year of 2014. IMO, overall this album is better than their last album Dark Adrenaline (2012), except of course the tracks "Give Me Something More", "Kill The Light" and the super sweet cover song of R.E.M "Losing My Religion", always be my fave ones of Dark Adrenaline album. But in the Broken Crown Halo, they dare to add some new atmospheres of a darker, bolder and more powerful music, packed with honest lyrics. I feel some new Lacuna Coil who still keep their 'signature' style of musicality.

 

Try listening to "Die & Rise", "I Burn In You", "Victims" and "One Cold Day". I particularly love "Zombie", "Die & Rise" and "One Cold Day". The piano in the track One Cold Day is somewhat soul-sucking, mind-blowing and surreal at the same time. And in Die & Rise, I looove love love when Scabbia sings her mother tongue lines,

Risorgero in ogni momento poiche
So che in vita si tramutera

 

(Damn! So sexy!)

 

I hope their next album will have the same kind of hardness and softness in their music simultaneously. And seriously, they need to sing a full gothic metal song in Italian language. I dig it <3

Would rate 8 out of 10 for Broken Crown Halo. Good job, guys! Ti amo non importa cosa ;)

G.

To the hell and back.

clock’s ticking dry like a jaded spy
awaits here on the black frail chair
despise the fact that no one will come
though the doors are wide open, my love

i keep swallowing sweet lies at your goodbyes
watching own heart gets blackened to soaked ebony
sucking clouds of smokes enticing agony
you’re no longer remember me, my love

i can’t swim inside your mind, their locked
said you’re open to me but really not
once this boat’s crushed, you, i and the rest will diffused
i'll no longer be your Muse, my love

whispering voice clinging to ears, hear?
escorting sad little souls willing to sell
empty gold incantations of the past are finally spelled
to embrace your vividly blurry future next to hell, oh well…

G.

While listening: 

[Writing] soulcramp.

there was a time when i succumbed to things just to acknowledge the fact that life doesn't always give you sweet candies. or maybe i was hoping to gain a better, bigger something for me in return. in time, i then found out that it led to nothing but to swallow more bitter pills of life. it's crushing me from inside though i don't sense it oftentimes. i'm always being too naive, or even too proud of my own hypothesis, though i know it's not right. it saves only my angst, not my soul. i still nurture that beast inside me who keeps whispering dark things to my head. it successfully grow insecurity within me and tend to linger there permanently. i must have mistaken the meaning of succumbing from losing. now, no more solid patches i can catch. no more pieces of this broken entity i can save.

they're just ashes all over. saying that it's over.

it's over.

G.

[Thoughts] You'll see!

 

 

 

 

 

I might be naive oftentimes but I'm not stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

you'll see

 

 

 

 

 

[Writing] About her: Diandri Almira Widi.

Assalamu'alaikum, readers!

I'M BAAACK!!

Wohohoho... How are you? All is well hopefully, yes? Aamin...

How am I doing? Never better! Why so? Well, let me introduce you with someone....

Pic taken by hubby

This cute lil girl is Diandri Almira Widi. We call her "Andri".

Diandri = My & hubby's name (buDI & ANDRIani). Andriani is my last name :)

Almira = The word is from Arabic language (also used in Greek language) means "Aristocrat or Princess" - a noble call to a woman.

Widi = From a Sanskrit language, means "knowledge" or "intelligence".

My second child, my first daughter. Finally was born safely to the world on April 26, 2014 at 3:48 pm through sectio surgery, and weighted 2.65 kg. Alhamdulillah, now I have a pair of amazing kids! What more could I ask? Thank you, Allah <3

Speaking about Andri, she was born 3 weeks earlier than the due date. As I have told you in my blog titled "[Writing] 200gr", Some 'condition' occurred in my fetus. First, the fetus didn't grow as expected, she only weighted 1,5 kg on her 30th weeks, when she should have weighted 1,7 kg. Second, it seemed that there was a very smooth leakage of the amniotic fluid as there was a quite significant decrease of it (normal amount is 10, mine was just 7.8), and third, I was having an early contraction on my 33rd weeks so then I was hospitalized for two nights to prevent the early contraction from getting worse. The obgyn gave me two times of injection to mature the baby's lungs (in where my vagina felt so fucking itchy couple seconds after the injection. Bummer, haha!), in case the contraction continued and I needed to deliver the baby that day. But Alhamdulillah she stayed inside my belly a little longer, hehe... I was probably being too exhausted everyday at work. Almost everyday, I went home at night, went to and from work with motorcycle, plus I did exercise at the gym 3 times a week. DANG!!

"What the hell was she doing?", you'd prolly ask that question in your mind about me. Yes, I - too - feel stupid, come to think of it. People say you'll live your life easier and more relaxed on your second pregnancy, regarding you're experienced enough to take care your fetus and all. But no. Heck no. I skipped one most important thing about pregnancy: DON'T GET TOO TIRED. But that didn't stop me from being a badass overworked woman, wasn't I?

I'm sorry, my baby bunny. You were the one who had to bear your mommy's mischievousness *sighs*.

After being hospitalized from March 26 - 28, the obgyn forbid me to work again. So after a week of bedresting, I submitted my maternity leave form to the HR staff & my boss. I have 20 "empty" days, meaning I was going through 20 days on bed, just laid down having what my body and my fetus had been screaming since the beginning; RESTING.

And still no baby. What kind of maternity leave was that? Meh.

During my early maternity leave, I must.. bold, underline and italic this, I MUST eat six egg-whites everyfuckingday!! Not to mention a pile of vitamins & special meds to help gaining my baby's weight, and 2 glasses of hi-protein milk. GAAAAHHH!!! That felt like f.o.r.e.v.e.r. I swear God now I'm a bit trauma with egg-white. Na'ah... Won't eat that thing again for about a hundred years ahead, lol! Then I have a weekly meeting schedule with my obgyn to control the baby's progress. Everything went well, till on my 37 weeks of pregnancy (around April 20), the obgyn found no happy progress on her weight. In a week, she only gained weight below 100 gram, "That's it. You're having a surgery a week ahead, lady. She ain't growing inside there anymore (pointing my fat belly)." Then I thought, "Well that's not bad. At least she could hold on inside me for a month since I was hospitalized". I was scheduled to have a sectio surgery on April 27th, but then she must be taken out a day earlier because the amniotic fluid decreased again from 8.8 to 7.1.

Pic taken by hubby

With the chubs-chubs (I feel like eating those cheeks, lol)

A day after she was born, my breastmilk had come out. Yeaaay... Learning from my previous breastfeeding time with #LittleRayyan, I already pumped my milk the day after my surgery - of course along with bfeeding Andri. Must be honest, I felt soo guilty to her, esp when knowing she just weighted 2.65 kg, while her brother weighted 3,3 kg when he was born. So I was like turning into a breastmilk bitch. I'm all about breastfeeding and breastpumping. I ignored the 'quite-maddening' pain that I felt post surgery, what mattered to me was only bfeeding her & collecting the milk since the beginning. I have collected more than 6 bottles of milk @60ml during 4 days of recovery at the hospital. Seemed to be destined to do that, on Day-3 Andri's bilirubin (hematoidin) was 11,7. Not too high but couldn't be ignored as well. The DSA suggested a blue light treatment to Andri for a day. You know the rule, aight? During the treatment I couldn't breastfeed her, so the pumped breastmilk I had been collecting was very useful. Till today, Alhamdulillah I have collected enough (even a lot) stockpile of breastmilk inside the freezer at home. I already got back to work since last week, the struggle to pump the milk has begun ladies and gents. I determine and demand myself to bfeed Andri till she's 2 years old - just like her brother. She must grow as healthy as possible with my breastmilk. I have to make it up to her to remove the guilty feeling I've been bearing, hehehe... Wish me luck!! *fingers crossed*

Breast is Best!!

May 18th 2014

June 7th, 2014

July 13th, 2014

One nice thing to know is that Rayyan's and Andri's birthdays are so close to each other. Rayyan is on April 24th and Andri is on April 26th. Hohoho... It's a blessing thing to us - parents right? LOL.

Anyway, my hubby had been collecting videos since my first trimester of pregnancy till Andri was born. The video has up on Youtube. It's our little present to her just so someday - when we're not in this world again - she could see how much her parents love her and want the best for her, for her brother as well. They're everything to me, they're the air I breathe, the charger of my battery, the water for my dry throat. They're my ultimate antidote.

Rayyan Widi Alastair & Diandri Almira Widi

Taken by hubby

Enjoy the video, I gotta go now... Pumping! LOL. Have a nice day, peeps. Happy fasting and enjoy the Eid Fitr's allowance (Or should I say, THR??). Yeeehaaaww...! :D

Wassalam,

G.

[Thought] Banning NOAH movie? I agree.

Mau ngulas sedikit tentang film yang lagi heboh dibicarain di socmed nih karena beberapa waktu lalu, Lembaga Sensor Film melarang peredaran film ini di bioskop-bioskop di Indonesia, menyusul tindakan beberapa negara lain yang sudah lebih dulu nge-ban film ini di negara mereka. Insting kepo jalan, gue pun Googling sinopsis film ini,

Yeaps! NOAH :)

Langsung aja. Gue pribadi sih setuju yaa film ini better ngga ditayangin di Indonesia. Pun kalau tetap mau ditayangin, ada baiknya dikasih disclaimer bahwa ceritanya diangkat dari kitab suci agama tertentu (yang jelas bukan Islam, karena Islam tidak pernah menghina para Nabi sendiri dengan men-visualisasikan wajah dan atau perilaku Nabi-Nabi kami sendiri. We have our own way to respect and love our Prophets) dan ada batasan umur yang dibolehkan menonton film ini.

Yang gue heran, sekitar 16 tahun yang lalu (sekitar 1998 kalau ngga salah), gue masih kelas 2 SMP. Gue bisa dengan bebasnya nonton film "Prince of Egypt" di bioskop 21 sama temen-temen gue dan ended up keluar bioskop dengan terheran-heran karena gambaran Nabi Musa yang ada di kepala gue - hasil pembelajaran gue dari buku agama sendiri tentunya - jauh berbeda dengan yang digambarkan di film itu. Sampe-sampe dirumah gw tanya lagi ke ortu, walhasil ortu harus nerangin panjang lebar tentang perbedaan sejarah kenabian antara Islam dengan agama lain, walaupun kami punya Nabi-Nabi yang sama.

Iman sempet goyah setelah nonton Prince of Egypt? Hmm, gue agak lupa. Agak lupa apa gue udah beriman waktu itu, hahaha... Yang jelas sih gue jadi bertanya-tanya, versi mana yang lebih mendekati fakta. Versi kitab suci gue, apa versi film. Tapi sejurus kemudian gw keplak kepala sendiri, "Plis lah Wed... Masa iya loe menangin cerita film yang jelas-jelas money-oriented ketimbang kitab suci loe sendiri?"

But that's the point I wanna say. Orang-orang bisa dengan gampangnya bilang, "Itu cuma film, norak amat sih pake di banned segala!". Coba kalian ada di posisi saya 16 tahun yang lalu, tapi tidak berpikiran seperti saya - yang menganggap kitab suci agama sendiri masih lebih valid daripada cerita buatan, apalagi buatan dari kitab suci yang bukan agama sendiri - dan terpukau dengan "kekerenan" film itu sampe-sampe merasuk ke otak kalian. Bahaya ngga?

Jelas. Terutama buat muda-mudi yang fondasi agamanya belum steady. Memercayai sejarah penting seorang Nabi dari sebuah produksi film yang jelas-jelas profit-oriented demi bertahan di industri, emang bisa? Bisa banget! Sorry nyebut merk, wong Dee Lestari aja sampe pindah agama setelah nulis Supernova, kemungkinan besar pembacanya juga bisa melakukan hal yang sama setelah baca novel doi. Apa yang ngga mungkin coba? Apalagi kalo kita nge-fans banget sama suatu karya tertentu yang kita elu-elukan melebihi rasa cinta kita sama pencipta kita sendiri. Nope! Ini ngga berlebihan sih IMHO. So basically yeah, I agree with LSF. Justru yang gue bingungkan, kemana LSF waktu Prince of Egypt wara-wiri dengan bebasnya di bioskop-bioskop tanah air tahun 1998 itu? Ditambah kemasan soundtrack-nya yang ciamik banget dari Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston, makin-makinlah remaja-remaja kala itu tertarik banget buat nonton PoE dan keluar dengan decak kagum - bahkan meyakini jalan cerita di film itu nyata adanya - walaupun bukan diangkat dari apa yang diceritakan dalam kitab suci mereka.

Miris :(

Jangan keburu emosi menghujat LSF. Baca, tela'ah dulu kenapa sampai (bukan cuma) Indonesia melarang penayangan film ini. Ini bukan sekedar masalah, "Negara Indonesia kapan majunya kalo gini?", No! Liat sisi psikologisnya, efek yang ditimbulkannya nanti dan kemungkinan-kemungkinan tidak baik lain. Ya itu tadi menurut gue, kalaupun masih ngotot untuk ditayangin, kasih disclaimer dan age restriction itu mungkin lebih baik. Just my little thought. Gue sendiri berencana untuk nonton film ini sih, kepo! Hehehe... But now, I'm ready with all "the lies" that I will find in the movie... Much readier than 16 years ago, hehe...

G.

[Writing] 200gr

#TheLittleOne 31-32 weeks ^^

Assalamu'alaikuuuum ^____^

Ituu diatas ituuu, iyaaa itu calon anak keduakuuuu, hehehe...

Excited, deg-degan, sedikit khawatir (tapi banyak senengnya sih) nunggu kurang lebih 8 minggu lagi sampe si debay lahir. Kenapa khawatir? Iya, karena waktu check-up terakhir gue ke obgyn, si dokter bilang bahwa si debay yang seharusnya BB normalnya udah menginjak 1,7 kg, ternyata masih 1,5 kg.

In other meaning, #TheLittleOne masih harus ngejar 200 gram lagi dalam waktu yang singkat. *sobs*

Sebenernya overall ngga ada yang perlu gue khawatirkan banget sih. Naik turun BB-nya debay masih dalam batas normal kata obgyn gue. Tapi meneliti dari eating pattern gue selama masa kehamilan ini, si obgyn merasa perlu kasih gue beberapa suplemen tambahan, menu makan khusus + susu khusus penambah BB debay. Sebenernya gue sih udah bisa makan normal ya, si mual-muntah dahsyat yang pernah gue alamin di trimester pertama kehamilan gue udah ngga ada lagi. Masih sih sesekali gue muntah kalo makan makanan yang ternyata gak disukain si debay atau makan terlalu banyak. Tapi itu udah jarang banget. Selama trimester kedua cuma sekali dan masuk  trimester ketiga juga baru sekali muntahnya.

Back to the eating pattern, iya jadi nafsu makan gue udah balik normal sebenarnya. But that's it, normal. Maksudnya normal disini adalah nafsu makan normal gue non-hamil. Itu berarti sarapan gak suka pake nasi (pake nasi kalo udah kelaparan kelas kakap), dari pagi ke siang cuma ngemil sekunyah-dua kunyah biskuit. Makan siang biasa, nasi porsi 1/2 (lebih dari setengah biasanya muntah), dari siang ke sore ngopi, minum susu (sanggupnya juga susu kedelai - which is lemaknya lebih rendah daripada full cream milk / susu hamil) dan ngemil buah apel / pisang. makan malem nasinya lebih sedikit lagi dari 1/2 porsi. Minum susu hamil kalo masih ngerasa kuat nampung aja perutnya. Kalo gak kuat ya gak gue minum (bandel! hihihi). That's it. Ini sih sama aja kaya nafsu makan gue sehari-hari waktu ngga hamil. Ngga ada perubahan apa-apa kaya normalnya bumil yang nafsu makannya nyaingin banteng, yang lapar selalu tanpa ba-bi-bu, yang bawaannya pengen ngunyah mulu. Gue sih ngga gitu, malah cenderung maunya treadmill-an, steaming... Hal-hal yang bikin keringetan dan bakar lemak. Jelas sudah si obgyn manyun dan gue kena omel. "No more gym session for you till your labor, lady!". Oh dear... >___<

Tapi setelah dikasih tau kalo BB-nya #TheLittleOne kurang 200gram - berbanding lurus dengan kenaikan BB gue yang cuma 6 kilo sampe usia kehamilan 32 minggu ini - gue emang jadi agak parno. 8 minggu waktu yang sebentar kalo ngga dirasain. Kalo selama sisa waktu itu ngga ada peningkatan mutu makanan gue, kasian si debay kalo BB-nya below standard. Oke, dok. gimme prescription and special menu, I'll eat them all!

Walhasil, check-up terakhir ini gue pulang dengan membawa resep obat yang barisannya lebih panjang. Biasanya vitamin yang dikasih si obgyn cuma 2 jenis, sekarang jadi 4 jenis. Ditambah susu khusus penambah berat badan (macam susu P*diasure-nya versi orang dewasa atau Ev*rton Weight Gain) yang harus gue minum 2x sehari DILUAR susu hamil (Oh boy...). Yang paling berat sih sebenernya menu tambahan gue setiap harinya - like all those additional menu seem never enough - adalah gue harus makan putih telur rebus 2x setiap harinya.

....................... *mata melotot mulut menganga dalam ekspresi kengerian*

Gue sih suka ya telor dan segala menu yang ada telornya. Apalagi telor 1/2 mateng pake lada banyak sama garem, hadoohh... favorit banget deh! Cuma trus ngga juga makan putih telor rebus 2x setiap hari juga sih... Gile, lama-lama berat banget menuhin kewajiban yang satu ini. Eneg coy ngadepin putih telor muluk...

Salut saya untuk Anda-Anda sekalian wahai Ade Rai, Agung Hercules dan Agnes Monica...

*Dan semua namanya dimulai dari abjad yang sama (penemuan ngga penting)*

But for the sake of my fetus, I take the challenge! Gue combine putih telornya ke dalam sarapan gue, makan siang atau makan malam. Mentok-mentok ide, putih telornya gue gadoin sama sambel terasi... tok! Chilli saves my appetite, big time! Gue gitu lho, Padang murtad yang berlidah Padang sejati :D

Kunci penting lainnya sih asal gue ngga stress aja, ngga gampang parnoan - in which I quite have an issue on this. Waktu hamil Rayyan, mood swing gue cincay, tapi hamil yang sekarang... khan maen. Keliatannya mungkin ceria-ceria aja diluar, tapi gue sebenernya jadi perasa banget terutama menginjak trimester ketiga. I try and am still trying to press down the mood swing. So far (keliatannya sih ya) berhasil, walau hasilnya adalah gue jadi lebih diem dari biasanya. Soalnya kalo beneran dikeluarin, gue bisa nangis tiba-tiba setiap saat, atau marah-marah ngga jelas. Yang kaya gitu malah ngebingungin orang lain yang (misalnya) liat gue nangis atau tetiba kena semprotan gue - dan gue sendiri gak akan bisa ngejelasin dengan bener penyebab gue begitu, karena gue sendiri juga gak tau penyebabnya apa. Ya kalo yang kena omel gue itu paham perubahan hormon bumil, kalo ngga paham? Yang ada gue di cap orang stress, hehehe... So I'd better press the emotion down by being in a silence. Ngeluarin emosinya entar pas sendirian di musholla kantor, habis shalat, waktu dzikir dan berdo'a. Itu udah paling tokcer dan victimless dah :p

Eniweeey, wish me luck yaa! 8 more weeks, duuude! Hohoho... Still, I and hubby have not found name candidates for #TheLittleOne yet. Any name suggestion, peeps? It's a "she", insyaa Allah ^^

G.

PS: I just uploaded new cover song to my Soundcloud page. A spontaneous recording during karaoke session I had with my besties at work, LOL.

[Writing] Suicidal

I fucking hate myself...

For pushing myself doing or acting something beyond my limit too often
For thinking too much upon many things that are not worthy enough to be thought about
For unconsciously liking to analyze things from many different perceptions then come to an absolutely disturbing conclusion that discreetly destroys myself and my sanity
For always building and maintaining the strong facade when this entity is being torn apart - severely
For cursing own self after that, thinking how stupid I am - mask of pride is on. Still
For willingly falling and wounding alone with silent scream and moan
For being a self-motivator by drawing fake but nice images and words to my head, forming new fragile footings for me to stand up again post-downfall

And I fucking hate myself the most...
For repeating those paths over and over again

I fucking hate myself for being suicidal and loving it.

G.

[Thoughts] I'm gonna start to...

Act like a lady. Think like a guy.

I think I'll survive that way...


Hell yeah.

G.

[Introductory] New Blog!!

Yeah baby... New blog!

I feel like this blog in where I usually put my writings on has been "contaminated" by other irrelevant things such as fashion and make up. I knew already that I supposed to make another blog to put any post about this hidden passion of mine long time ago, yet I didn't do it. And when I wanted to export my make up and fashion-related posts to the new blog, I failed (meh!). In short, I made another blog regarding make up and fashion, just in my point of view. Please don't see me as some beauty blogger or hijabista. I'm far from that. Yet, I can't deny that I'm a normal woman who likes to gain knowledge and information about make up & fashion, to then share them back to others. You know... girls. Talk and share, share and gossip, gossip and twist, twist and shout, shout and spread. No listening and keeping, LOL.

No, that's so not me. Guaranteed! :)))

Back to topic, you can now see me talking about girl things just by one simple click:

www.iweddeathlust.blogspot.com

Feel free to read, leave a comment or even follow the blog if you don't mind. If you have question(s) or simply wanna share the new make up babe or ask me to review any make up, send me email to goddess.lusty@gmail.com. Insyaa Allah I'll be glad to respond them :)

Gotta go now. Bye.

G.

[Writing] Braxton hicks?

Assalamu'alaikum blog readers,

Pengen cerita. Tapi lagi ngga mood pake bahasa bule-bulean. So here we go (Lah, barusan gue nulis bahasa apa dah?)

Jadiii, awal mula cerita (ngga gitu) berguna gue ini dimulai pagi ini. Gue bangun seperti biasa jam 5 dan shalat Subuh. Terbangun dengan agak meringis karena merasa perut mules + sakit + encok di pinggang dan semacamnya lah. Sebenarnya dari malam gue udah ngerasain kaya masuk angin gitu selesai mandi. Tapi gue abaikan karena gue pikir, "Ah wajarlah ya masup angin, mandi malem-malem jam 10, keramas pulak. Trus langsung tidur dengan rambut masih basah awur-awuran (Gue bukan pencinta hair dryer, lebih suka ngeringin rambut secara alami. Besides ngirit listrik juga. I'm an economical type of wife, dude!)". Ternyata sampe Subuh tadi perut masih bermasalah. Habis shalat langsung aja deh gue masak air dan bikin kopi (Tenaang, saya ngopi hanya dua cangkir/hari kok :p) dan nyemil roti, hanya untuk memancing si feses, hehehe. Ternyata perkiraan gue bener, 2x sruput kopi dan perut langsung mules.

Sudah dong yaa tanpa berlama-lama gue ngacir ke WC dan "setor harian". Lalu, apakah masalah selesai setelah itu?

Yah, seperti yang sudah kalian tebak: T3... Tentu Tidak, Teman!

After the bo-to-the-ker, rasa mulas ilang memang. Tapi rasa sakit + nyeri di pinggang masih ninggal, bahkan getting worse. Duduk salah, tiduran apalagi. Miring kiri, miring kanan, terlentang, bahkan nungging gue lakonin... Tapi tetep aje sakit bok.

OK, is this what they call "the braxton hicks contraction"?

Truth be told, di kehamilan pertama gue, gue sama sekali ngga pernah ngerasain apa itu kontraksi - either yang asli maupun yang KW. Rasanya flat. Perut kenceng, flek-flek dikit okelah gue rasain waktu usia kehamilan diatas 37 minggu. But those were all piece of cake. Gue masih sanggup tawaf keliling mall dengan santay merantay. So now I'm totally clueless about this contraction-thingy. Walhasil meringis-meringis (dengan agak parno) aja sambil rebahan dan terus cari posisi nyaman. Laki gue ngeliat dan akhirnya nawarin jasa pijit punggung & pinggang belakang. Dia emang lebih sakti tangannya kalo soal pijat-memijat daripada gue jujur aja, hehehe... Jadi setelah dipijit sakitnya agak ilang. Entah karena emang dia jago mijit atau karena hormon oksitosinnya langsung berasa di gue, hihihi... Yaa sesekali deh dimanja laki sendiri. Biasanya gw acting like a Wonder Woman mulu, khan capek juga yaaa...

Long story short, after got myself a massage and laid down for another minute, akhirnya tu sakit berkurang. Ngga sama sekali ilang loh, karena bahkan sampe detik ini gue masih berasa "ada yang begah-begah ngeganjel" di perut sebelah kanan. Not the baby of course, because it keeps kicking me-tummee from all directions and not just from the right side. Ya semoga aja besok udah normal lagi, jadi gue ngga perlu ngontak obgyn gue. Jujur gue bukan tipe yang apa-apa harus ke dokter, dikit-dikit diperiksa, sebentar-sebentar nanya dokter. Gue lebih suka cool off dulu dan cari info dengan browsing di internet. Kalo mentok solusi, dokter baru jadi andalan final.

Barusan kelar makan siang, di dining room gue juga ngobrol dengan temen-temen cewe gue yang udah jadi mommy. Kebanyakan dari mereka beranggapan bahwa sakitnya perut ini memang kemungkinan besar adalah braxton hicks. 

Tau apa itu toni braxton? Yak, betul... dia adalah penyanyi.

Wkwkwkwk

Bukan, maksud gue braxton hicks. Ya braxton hicks itu bisa dibilang adalah kontraksi palsu - which is bukanlah kontraksi penanda bahwa si baby siap lahir. Kenyataannya justru masih jauh dari proses delivery. Setelah ngubek-ngubek milis hamil, sama seperti cerita kehamilan tiap-tiap Ibu, cerita bagaimana rasanya dan kapan dirasakannya braxton hikcs pada tiap-tiap mommy juga berbeda. Ada yang setelah 37 minggu baru berasa, ada yang dari 20-an minggu udah sering kram perut, bahkan ada yang ngga berasa sama sekali (kaya waktu gue hamil Rayyan dulu). Ada yang rasanya perut berasa kencang, pinggang encok dan selangkangan berasa nyeri, ada yang mules-mules hebat, ada yang kaya masup angin, bahkan sampe ada yang ngga sanggup bangun dari tempat tidur karena bergerak dikit aja perut udah kaya ditusuk-tusuk. Macem-macemlah intinya.

Alhamdulillah yang gue rasain tadi pagi sih ngga sampe begitu-begitu amat, walau ya gue akuin segala posisi ngelonjor kayanya salah aja karena sakitnya ngga ilang. Yang bisa gue lakuin sekarang cuma banyakkin minum air putih, makan buah, sayur dan kayanya rehat nge-gym dulu.

Nge-gym? Yes, nge-gym.

Plis jangan mencak-mencak dulu, Nge-gym versi gue bukan advanced yoga, body combat atau gravity ya. Hanya treadmill (itu pun jalan, ngga lari), sepedaan & stepper. Biasanya 15 menit treadmill jalan, 15 menit stepper / sepedaan, 10 menit angkat beban, heheh.. Yeah well, gue akuin emang masih 'bandel' angkat beban sih. Habis gimana dong? Masa kaki di exercise 30 menit, tapi tangan, bahu dan sekitarnya ngga dapet jatah?

Oiya, dan 10 menit penutup dengan steaming. Baru mandi dan bersih-bersih.

But then again, setelah dipikir-pikir (dan ditambah diomelin Ibu-Ibu se-kecamatan Bakrie & Brothers) kayanya gue emang harus nurunin kadar kebrutalan gue nge-gym deh. Terutama yang angkat beban. Ngga fair buat si jabang baby kalo emaknya tetep ngotot usaha mengubah massa lemak ke massa otot hanya demi jaga berat badan supaya ngga mencelat drastis selama hamil. It's the risk all mom must face lah, nimbun lemak-lemak lucu itu. Mungkin yang gue kurangin harusnya makanan goreng-gorengan & daging merah. Jadi nge-gym nya juga gak perlu brutal-brutal amat. Oh man...

THIS IS SPARTAAA!!

G.

[Photography] Same old brand new Jakarta

Assalamu'alaikum,

From 35th floor, a hello comes from a girl with thick hijab, black narcissistic-pic sweater, black pants, black socks & a cup of hot black coffee, wishing you guys to have a nice - if possible - warmer morning, at least warmer than her morning, lol.

Hijab by Zirraa. Follow their Twitter: @ZirraaOlshop

Btw, she would like to post some pics she took last week when flood attacked Jakarta. Same old same old, eh? Only God knows when that curse will stop 'visiting' the city every year. Anyway, better still see things in positive side. At least I could still sharpening my photography skill through this natural phenomena with 50mm f/1.8 and 135mm f/2.8 sears lenses of mine ~B/W style.

Let's have a look, shall we?

Bye :)
G.

PS:
- All the pics are my own artwork. DO NOT COPY THEM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. Thanks 
- If you want to see other pics I have taken with my SLR cam, you can visit my flickr account, and add me if you have one too. Thanks

Looks like enjoying the ride :D

Hardworker

Rayyan and daddy

In front of my housing

After accompanying mom & dad hunting pictures in the flooded area, Rayyan watched The Lone Ranger with Papa :p

This is what I call "economy tactics" :p

This is the road to my brother's house. His house is on the right side. The flood reached until the adult thighs.

He wanted to have fun with what the flood could offer him.

Spontaneous pool, lol.

[Quote] too much.

What I have learn

What I have [not] pass

[Writing] Morning, rain...

Morning rain, morning people... Assalamu'alaikum ^^

To those who are being suffered by the flood all around this lovely country... Be patient and strong, ok? Rainbow will come after storm attacks us, I do believe in that sentence - literally or metaphorically.

I just concern with one thing, please please please... From now on, let's not being so ignorant about the daily trash we throw. Just don't throw them carelessly - moreover in the river and gutter. We know now that nature never lies. We'll harvest what we've planted, and now we're harvesting it through flood. Feels shitty, right? That's why I feel like punching one's face every time I see her/him throwing garbage at any place but trash can. I'd better put the trash in my bag temporarily if I don't see any trash can nearby then to throw them carelessly, seriously. Do not act like uneducated person, hey capital residents.

Btw I just arrived at work, Alhamdulillah safe and sound and still waiting my hubby to text me if he arrives at his office too. Feeling so hungry & cold, let's have a (late) breakfast & listen to the soothing playlist, shall we? ;)

Ketupat sayur, anyone? ;)

My playlist this morning

G.