Monday, November 05, 2007

Spiderman atau Scorpion?


Biasanya dikantor gw tiap 2 minggu sekali bunga-bunga penghias di ruang tunggu [lobby depan] selalu diganti dan pasti selalu ada temanya. Kaya selama dua minggu kemarin tema kali itu adalah Halloween so vas bunganya berbentuk Halloween pumpkin gitu, bertepatan sama Halloween day tgl. 31 Oktober kemarin

Terus hari ini agen bunganya dateng lagi buat ganti bunga nya. Setelah gw dan beberapa teman kantor perhatiin, bentuk bunganya itu persis banget kaya laba-laba. Gw sampe wondering sendiri, "Emang temanya awal November ini apaan ya sampe bentuk bunganya kaya laba-laba gini?", dari tadi pagi sampe menjelang makan siang gw tetep ga bisa nebak kira2 temanya apa.

Pas udah jam makan siang salah satu temen kantor gw mau turun cari makan & dia liat bunga "spiderman" itu, trus tiba2 dia nyeletuk,
"Oh, bunga nya lucu banget! Hari ini temanya Scorpio ya?"
Dalam hati gw bingung, apa hubungannya laba-laba sama Scorpio? Akhirnya gw ga tahan juga mau tanya,
"Emang hubungannya Scorpio sama laba-laba apaan mba?"
"Lho, siapa bilang ini laba-laba?"
"He?... emang menurut mba bunganya mirip apaan?"
"Ini sih scorpion Wed, kalajengking..."
"Hah??!!" gw jawab sambil terus periksa2 bunga ini.

Ah engga ah! pikir gw, masa kalajengking begini bentuknya? Cuma emang, kalaupun maksudnya mau niruin laba-laba, bentuknya emang ganjil juga sih...

Menurut loe, laba-laba apa kalajengking ya?


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

n.o.t.h.i.n.g


With her mouth locked, with her eyes closed

Neither lies nor truths could be known

When she blindly searching where her heart might be

Her body starts to limping, broken into pieces

She is the incompletely soul

Dying and accompanied by a creepy doll

She saw the light among the dark

The dark is the shade

The shade is a deceiver

A grimy haunting death reaper

Hopes to find another ways out

That she found many roads have been blocked

O justice, how can she sue her destiny?

No thing called God in her, but only a faith

A dead faith she considers as alive and sparkling

She went home empty-handed

Made no choice from options-offered

She found emptiness, she got back her consciousness

Her life has been a total fake

She got n.o.t.h.i.n.g to take, nothing has been made

She screams in a sacred silence

Makes a monstrous voice from her injured throat

She’s slowly turning to a deaf

And going to be a broken-winged half-life senseless angel

The people’s everything

Who gets ______________

~G~

PS: I’m sorry… I wish I never have to chose

Lagi

Sometimes, I hate growing up…

~G~

Distance Sucks!


Distance sucks… Distance sucks…

Some get succeed…

Some get through it

But me?

Uhm…

I feel it…

Like puke from my mouth

Like an ache in my tumm-tumm

Like sh!t from my as*hole

Then I keep singing

Distance sucks… Distance sucks… Distance s.u.c.k.s!!!

~G~

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Hey You!


Hey You!


How could you let it conquer you as easy as an eye-blinked?
For I see your heart is trapped in one diverting moment.
How could you let your logical sense sink?
For I know it's the only thing that can survive you from a man.
How could the shadow be your home now?
For I know you'll be able to stand by your own feet, somehow.
How could all your sagacious words spoken are no longer important?
For I know that you would fight for what you think it was right.
How could you be the "not-understandable"?
You set all free, left all things unspeakable.
How could your expectation switched?
Wake up now... You are no bitch!
How could you pretend that everything is running like the way it is?
For I know it all has been changed unlike the way it should be.
How could you fall for this fuckin shit?
While you know that he's already married!

Hey You!

How could you?

~Iwed~

Photo taken from www.cartoonstock.com

Friday, August 03, 2007

Ambeon - fate of A Dreamer


When Astrid had agreed to work along with Arjen's new 'ambeon' project, he send her all kinds of current work in progress mixes. Each time he finished something he sent them over to Astrid. Originally it was meant that Astrid wrote some lyrics and singingpaterns on those 'old' Ayreon songs which Arjen completely revamped. In the end most songs are completely unrecogizable. These songs would originally form the new album along with some guest performers. But when Arjen heared Astrid's voice he promptly got the idea that she would simply sing along with some numbers which wouldn't been written by Astrid. But as the work progressed very smoothly it changed and Astrid did all the lyrics and melodies herself. After all it all was quite a challenge but Astrid is proud of herself and satisfied with the endresult.
Astrid van der Veen:Vocals and backing vocals
Arjen Lucassen:Acoustic and electric guitars, analog keyboards, samples and weird noises
Stephen Aestregt:Acoustics and electronic drums and percussion
Walter Latupeirissa:Bass- and fretless bass guitar
John McManus:Low Flute and Uillean Pipes on 1,3 and 7
Pat McManus:Fiddle on 3 and 7
Erik Norlander:Additional synths on 8 and 9, voice of news reporter on 9
Lana Lane:Reversed backing vocals on 3 and 9
Recorded, Produced and mixed at the 'Electric Castle', by Arjen. Music written by Arjen. Lyrics and story written by Astrid. Originally released in 2001 by Transmission Records (TM-030)


1
Estranged
2
Ashes
3
High
4
Cold Metal
5
Fate
6
Sick Ceremony
7
A Lost Message
8
Surreal
9
Sweet Little Brother
10
Dreamer
[taken from http://astridvanderveen.nl]


__________________________________


About Ambeon: [taken from http://www.ayreon.com/ambeon/am_index.html]

Ambeon is mysterious and ambient side project of Arjen Anthony Lucassen featuring Astrid van der Veen, a young and very talented female vocalist.

In 2001 the album Fate of a Dreamer was released, when Astrid was only 14 years old. The single 'Cold Metal' was released with a few bonus tracks, and the song was also featured on a Dutch compilation sampler for Gothic music called 'Into Temptation'. The album Fate of a Dreamer is currently out of print.

Although Arjen and Astrid are still in contact with each other, there are no plans yet to make a follow up to their debut album.

Astrid is currently in theEndorphins. For more information on this band and on Astrid, please check their site.

Astrid released a solo album called "Seemless Borderline" in 2005. You can order this album, as well as pre-order a re-issue of Astrid's first solo album "Beautiful Red" at theEndorphins website, then go to the Merch section for information on how to order.

__________________________________

About The Album:

Amazing....!!! I fell in love in the first hearing!! This album succeeded in taking my breath away. So dark, so creative and so unique. Particularly I love the "Cold Metal" song [Me & Rinsdark could sing that song again and again and again and again...] and we've made decision that one day our band [GELAP] must bring this song on stage. Astrid brings out her best vocal. She has a unique - kinda flighty - voice that i'm quite sure no one can ever copy it. I also love the "Surreal" and "Ashes" songs [Ashes, the song-title with my band, yay! hahaha...]. Those two songs are also amazing and have a great power of dark-weirdo atmosphere.

Really, u should hear this album, especially for those who like to catch the atmosphere of one's song. u can download their songs HERE.

...Be breathless...

~iwed~

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


ANNOUNCEMENT !!!!!
GELAP will perform on an event called
"Sound of Soul"
that will be held on July 16-22, 2007
at WTC Mangga Dua
GELAP's performance is on July 16 in the noon
And we'll bring our new songs from our new formation
So.... PLEASE COME and ENJOY ROCKIN AROUND WITH US!!!

HAILS...
~~LustyGoddess~~

Monday, June 18, 2007

Dark Legion

My other pages:

I want to introduce my Dark Legion Family to u, guys :)


Chimmy a.k.a FEAR


Rinsdark a.k.a NIGHTMARE


Goddess a.k.a LUST


Agni a.k.a PAIN


Die a.k.a DEATH


Ira a.k.a SIN


Amor a.k.a MADNESS


And...

Renee a.k.a SORROW


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hopeless soul

He's skulking out for the sun to rise, sitting down the aisle with a cigarette in his right hand and a black rose in the other hand. His eyes are never to rest, his mind is never to gratify and his heart is never to cease, until he finds the veritable mean of forfeiting. He tries to see everything beyond some logical reasons so he can obtain a new mindset of his own about how things can ensued him. A blackening core – deep inside him – has been wounded badly. He had trying to find a blaming so he could claim it as somebody else’s defection. He can’t stand seeing his own reflection when he yelled at the mirror, asking about whom to blame for his own tricky mean game.

And now he tries to find the justification to what he has done, when he finally recognized how many preys have falling down caused by his crave upon a black pearl. He finally wins it… A black pearl, which actually can never be owned. And his winning has to be paid by the loss of a red diamond. It slipped out from his hands, down running with the sunset.

The sunset that he can only see from the distance…

The hopeless soul is firing down his cigarette with blood tears streaming down, counting days until his doom comes.

He loses…

- g -

Sleepyhead walkin the dawn..

Red full moon....

Saw things upside-down

An hour phone-talk in the nite

Severe headache

In the midlle of nowhere in the darkness

Bizzare emotional condition

Hardly asleep

Tired mind

Sleepyhead walkin in the dawn...

See things in obscurity

Missing my mom badly that it hurts me folly

Hhhh.... I had a diluting morning


I need a hug
.....Mom.....

- g -

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Whipped


I present this to you costless

You can see it all over on this reckless desire

Like an open gate at the dark mansion without guardians

I’ve wrapped my heart with steeliest wall

Locked it up with a spell that only you can tell

I’m this nude… I’m this weak

Standing within you

What’s on the world has given you that light?

When it’s all I wander in my dark paths

That “lost” is the only word best describe the end of my journey

I’ve been an escapee

Built my own world when I no longer found conformity on the other one

And you’re my escapism…

You’re my exuberant…

You’re my narcotics…

As I always harassedly need you in a lethal dosage

Diffusing harshly and haunting my fragile heart like a ghost

I’m whipped… by my climax… my orgasm…

By Y.O.U

- g -

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Nagabonar Jadi 2

Setelah kemerdekaan, NAGABONAR (Deddy Mizwar) seorang diri berhasil membesarkan anaknya, BONAGA (Tora Sudiro) - buah hati hasil pernikahannya dengan KIRANA (almarhumah), yang kini sukses jadi pengusaha di Jakarta.

Sebagai anak, BONAGA memiliki persamaan watak dan karakter dengan Bapaknya: jujur, bertanggungjawab, dan juga sama-sama tak mampu menyatakan cinta pada wanita. Dengan jiwa kepemimpinannya, BONAGA - bersama POMO (Darius Sinathrya), RONNIE (Uli Herdinansyah), JAKI (Michael Muliadro) - mengelola bisnis yang strategis. BONAGA bersama tiga sahabatnya merupakan cermin anak muda modern: metroseksual, pintar, cerdas, dan dinamis.

Konflik utama film ini adalah saat BONAGA dan sahabat-sahabatnya ingin 'menjual' kebun kelapa sawit milik Bapaknya di kampung halamannya, Sumatra Utara, kepada investor dari Jepang untuk dijadikan sebuah resort. Tentu saja NAGABONAR sangat marah sebab di kebun itu terdapat tiga kuburan orang yang 'selalu hidup' di hati NAGABONAR: KIRANA - istrinya, MAK-nya, dan Si BUJANG - sahabatnya. "Apa kata dunia?"

MONITA (Wulan Guritno), konsultan bisnis BONAGA, yang cantik, mandiri, profesional, dan mencintai BONAGA, berusaha menjembatani konflik antara Bapak dengan anak itu.

Pertemuannya dengan UMAR (Lukman Sardi), anak seorang pejuang yang jadi sopir bajaj dan menjalani kehidupan sederhana, menjadi titik balik sikap NAGABONAR dalam melihat dunia dan kehidupan.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________--

Maunya sih kasih bintang 11 deh buat film ini. Emosi gw bener-bener dikocok sama film ini. Ada satu scene yang mengharu biru dimana air mata gw udah diujung mata, tiba-tiba gara-gara celetukan ngaconya Nagabonar gw yang ada ngga jadi nangis tapi malah ngakak lagi!! Berlaku juga sebaliknya, pas lg asik2 ketawa tiba2 langsung adegan mengharukan. TOP banget deh ini film. Bisa jadi ada si ganteng Tora / Darius, ada si cantik Wulan Guritno, ada si lucu Indra Birowo / Ully..Tapi menurut gw, Deddy Mizwar tetep primadonanya di film ini. Love his acting sooo much!!Sumpah, LOE RUGI klo sampe kelewatan ni film!! Ngga nyesel gue sampe niatin cabut kuliah buat nonton film ini di sama bro Ardi dan temen-temennya di Setiabudi One, hehehe... Emang dasarnya lagi bosen banget ma rutinitas, ngabur & nonton Nagabonar emang refreshing banget!!


"Nomat"-time!!
Apr 9, 2007
Setiabudi One
Iwed, Ardi & friends



Line fave gw waktu Nagabonar ngedorong anaknya si Bonaga buat ngomong ke Monita...

Nagabonar: Sudah cepat sana kau ucapkan 'selamat malam Monita' atau 'selamat tidur Monita' atau apalah... terserah kau saja, 'selamat idul fitri' juga boleh!!

Mbuahahahahahaha!!!!!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Surat permohonan maaf untuk Allah


Dear Allah,

Hai Rabb, hehehe… Sepertinya basa-basi udah ngga perlu lagi yah kalo beurusan denganMu. Kabarku baik, lebih sehat dari kemarin. Thanks banget ya Rabb udah kasih cobaan ke aku hari-hari terakhir ini. Awalnya kupikir bakal berat banget ngelewatinnya. Tapi emang dasar Dikaw Maha Pemurah, aku dikasih segudang sahabat yang super baik untuk menemaniku di kala susah dan senang, dikasih hati yang kuat dan tahan banting, dikasih raga yang sehat dan ngga gampang nyerah, dikasih ortu yang bawel tapi tetep pengertian dan segudang berkah lain yang membuatku bertahan terus sambil menikmati cobaanMu.

Beberapa diantaranya cukup menyakitkan – sejujurnya. Dan datangnya beruntun. Untung ya Boss, untuung banget aku ngga terlalu telat untuk menyadari bahwa aku sudah mulai jauh denganMu. Entah aku yang menjauhiMu atau Dikaw yang menjauhiku? Aahh… Tapi Boss, kayanya ngga mungkin kalau Dikaw yang menjauhiku, there’s no other Boss better than You! Banyak sekali orang-orang kafir di dunia ini, tapi tetep Dikaw kasih kesejahteraan, kesehatan, kekayaan dan segudang berkah lain yang mereka punya, Dikaw tidak meninggalkan mereka juga. Kadang Rabb suka kebangetan baiknya deh! ;p

Hhh… Sebenarnya lewat surat ini aku mau minta maaf nih sama Dikaw. Sepertinya laporanku yang sekarang lebih telat daripada yang sebelumnya. Maaf ya Boss khataman Qur’an yang sekarang lebih lama. Yang sekarang ngabisin waktu 1,5 tahun (mungkin lebih), sedangkan sebelumnya 1 tahun. Bukannya apa-apa Rabb, aku kadang suka baca terjemahannya juga. Habis sering disindir mama. Kata beliau gini, “buat apa kamu baca dan khatam Al-Qur’an berkali-kali kalo kamu ngga paham dan menghayati artinya? Sesekali, kalau sempat, dibaca deh tu terjemahannya”. Ditambah lagi akhir-akhir ini aku makin jauh dariMu. Makin-makinlah terbengkalai kitab masterpiece-Mu itu dari alunan tilawahku. Hiks hiks… Huge apology ya Allah, untuk kedepan aku usahain lebih cepat lagi deh khatamannya (plus terjemahannya juga, Insya Allah).

Teruuus, apalagi yah? Oiya, permintaan maafku yang kedua ini soal puasa Nabi Daud nih! Hehehe, Boss tau kan kemarin aku sempet berniat untuk nyoba puasa Nabi Daud? Tapi sampe detik ini belum terealisasi nih. Again, I’m sooo sorry, aku bener-bener lupa (maklum, Rabb… Manusia. Halahh, pembelaan banget ngga seh? Hehehe..) Yah, aku pikir gimana juga mau ngejalanin puasa Nabi Daud, sedangkan puasa Senin-Kamis aja jarang, utang puasa Ramadhan kemarin baru setengahnya yang dibayar. Duh duh duh… Malu banget aku sama Dikaw, Cinta… Ibarat kata kalo aku karyawanMu dikantor aku udah pantes dapat surat teguran / skorsing ya? L

Tapi terus terang, aku legaaa banget waktu barusan tutup Qur’an dan melihat udah ngga ada lagi pembatas halaman yang nyelip diantara lembar-lembarnya itu. Aku ngucap Hamdallah berkali-kali sampe cape (Ngga tau berapa kali, ngga ngitung, hehe) Aku paham dan sadar (akhirnya) bahwa dicintai Dikaw adalah perasaan yang luar biasa indahnya… Paling indah di dunia deh! Engkau mencintaiku dengan berkah, Engkau memperhatikanku dengan cobaan, Engkau melindungiku dengan memberikan orang-orang yang luar biasa mengagumkan di sekitarku. Makasih ya Cinta… Mungkin kalau Dikaw punya Friendster tiap hari aku bakal isi testimonial dan comment buatMu, just to show You how much I feel grateful by loving You and be loved by You.

Sudah dulu ya, Rabb… Permohonan maafku diterima kan? Ya kan ya kan ya kan? (pemaksaan, hehehe… Becanda Rabb, Dikaw kan punya sense of humor yang asik ;p). Aku mau tidur dulu (salah satu berkah juga itu… Tidur). I LOVE YOU MY ONE AND ONLY… Please, never leave me. I’m on my knee with both hands lifted, begging for Your love & mercy, I’m Your serf, dear God and I lay all my life on You


Lots of love

A girl who dares to surrender her soul for You

- Dewi Andriani –


Thursday, March 22, 2007

00.00 am

Need your help... !!!


For everyone who has the newest Within Temptation album called "The Heart of Everything", please please PLEASE tell me where I can get the CD/DVD or even the available link(s) for me to download their songs (Yeah, it's a piracy...So what? I'm desperate!!) I already opened their official website, and there they said,

Open Disc.

On both edition of the album you'll find the 'Open Disc' system. This is a special link that's only accessible if you own the original CD. With this link you'll get exclusive access to a part of the website that contains videos, diaries, exclusive competitions, exclusive merchandise items, etc. From the release onwards we'll be constantly adding stuff to this website. So make sure not to miss anything!

Please note: if you download the album (legally or illegally) you will NOT have access to this 'Open Disc' system! You'll need the actual disc!


So guys...Anybody here who can help me?! Billion thanks if u can... I miss Sharon's lullaby chant so damn much!!

- g -

NOTE:
The Tracks-list

01. The Howling

02. What Have You Done feat. Keith Caputo

03. Frozen

04. Our Solemn Hour

05. The Heart Of Everything

06. Hand Of Sorrow

07. The Cross

08. Final Destination

09. All I Need

10. The Truth Beneath The Rose

11. Forgiven

And a limited edition digipack with a special design and a bonustrack:

01. The Howling

02. What Have You Done feat. Keith Caputo

03. Frozen

04. Our Solemn Hour

05. The Heart Of Everything

06. Hand Of Sorrow

07. The Cross

08. Final Destination

09. All I Need

10. The Truth Beneath The Rose

11. Forgiven

12. What Have You Done feat. Keith Caputo (rock mix)

Friday, March 16, 2007

Muntah... Lagi. Fiuhh !!!

Muntah lagi...
Mau izin pulang ngga berani balik ke Depok sendiri dengan kondisi badan super lemes kaya gini.
Fiuuhhh... Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang ngga dateng-dateng yah?!...
Badan yang aneh...

[Woops, kayanya mau muntah lagi nih!]
*kabur ke rest room dulul deh...

- g -

What a (fuckin) day...

Ø Begadang ngerjain tugas kuliah

Ø Ngantor

Ø Super duper ngantuk

Ø Banyak kerjaan

Ø Awan super gelap yang indah dan menyeramkan

Ø Angin super kencang

Ø Kereta terlambat

Ø Ada pohon tumbang di track kereta antara Manggarai – P. Minggu

Ø Nunggu satu jam

Ø Diajak jalan-jalan sama kereta sampe stasiun Jatinegara dan Rawamangun

Ø Ngga bisa kuliah karena udah telat

Ø Becanda-becanda di kereta sama temen-temen kantor sampai sakit perut

Ø Kelaperan dan kedinginan di dalam kereta

Ø Kebelet pipis (Damn!!)

Ø Kereta mulai jalan jam 6.30 sampe Depok jam 8.30

Ø Makan pecel ayam berdua temen sambil ngerumpi

Ø Balik ke kosan

Ø Cuci muka, sikat gigi

Ø TIDURR!!!!


Wed, March 14, 2007

- g -

Skripsi bedebah !!! (Part.1)

Dibuat menjadi beberapa part karena gw 100% yakin akan ada part-part lain yang menyusul... Karena skripsi memang BEDEBAH!!!
________________________________________________________________________________

SH*T !! Topik skripsi yang selama ini udah gw susun rapi-rapi ternyata SAMA PERSIS dengan topik skripsi temen gw dan gw udah KECOLONGAN START ACC duluan dari dia !!!

Gowsh...!!! What a day...

And now I have to stay up all night, make fu*k with all my college's tasks !!!!
Sama Andy yang ngga berhenti nelponin cewe-cewe ngga jelas...
Dan Esti yang berkali-kali nguap dan nyeletuk hal-hal yang ngga meaning (dan sekarang mulai memeragakan gaya-gaya yang bikin gw malu punya temen kaya dia)...

Hhhh...Begini bener yak sobat-sobat gw, untung gw sayang sama mereka
Sudahlah...Gw balik having sex lagi sama tugas-tugas kuliah gw



1.08 am - March 13, 2007
14.03.07
Iwed - Andy - Esti

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

My Sista's happy day!!


Happy Birthday sistaaa!!!! My warmest wishes always be with you... Hope God will always be there for you in every step you make. All for your happiness, God bless you, sweetie... Muach muach
*smooches*

- g -

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Fast poem-making


The desirable anxiousness covered by the reddish half-naked mind, drown in the most absurd way where comprehensiveness is doubtful and there’re no other ways to keep it still on the surface. I swallowed all these superstitious propagandas, memorized them like an old ashy photo album which never tells with its shapeless mouth and its unspoken words what lies beneath it. I swallowed them unquestioned. And I died unnoticed…


I died by my own ghastly desire… My own boundless thought

- g -


[Photo's taken from "Fotosearch"]

Surviving

Si brengsek itu pergi begitu saja tanpa ada kesudian meninggalkan sedikit kesan bahwa dia membutuhkanku. Si brengsek itu lari begitu saja tanpa ada keinginan meniggalkan pesan rindu untukku. Si brengsek itu mati begitu saja tanpa ada kepastian apakah diriku sudah memenangkan hatinya...

"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside him knowing you can't have him."

- g

Defeated

It feels like eating shit to my mouth and throwing out puke from my ass when feeling it. My body can no longer boasting around bout how strong she is. Coz the fact is I now succumb from this fuckin illness. The strong Iwed has finally defeated... *sobs*

- g -

Owh Crap!!

Some crappy miscommunication happened between me, my boss and my boss-to-be. It's really got a pain in the ass!! I've been gotten by my boss-to-be twice (hope it won't happen anymore). I just get back from the meeting room to talk about this problem. Well, my recent boss doesn't know that I already been transfer to the Audit Department since yesterday (My boss-to-be didn't reconfirm to him). When my Boss looked at my empty desk, he was wondering where I might be. Knowing that I was at the Audit Dept, he was a bit shocked and anxious.

My bad too, that I didn't reconfirm him that I already moved to Audit Dept, because my boss-to-be said that he already asked for his permission to take me to his Dept yesterday - the fact was..he hadn't ask anybody's permission yet.

Uggh..this problem was really shrinking my mood !! I even haven't start to work at the Audit Dept yet, and this kinda shit has happened ! Somehow...I knew I wouldn't last more than a year in this Dept. Yeah, I'm a communication student, and working as the Auditor Secretary?

My bad - twice... Why should I accept the promotion??
Fool me..

- g -

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Consecutive mischances

Dear H,

Gosh...Malam ini gue mengalami malam TERBURUK, mungkin selama hidup gw (Selain malam saat gw denger kabar kalo sahabat terbaik gw meninggal dunia 6 tahun lalu, tentunya). Gue mengalami kesialan beruntun yang ngga berhenti-berhenti dari mulai jam 5 sampe jam 9 malem.

Starts at 5, waktu mau pulang ngantor gw udah turun dari gedung kantor gw..untungnya belum sampai gw naik ojek, tiba-tiba security gedung manggil-manggil nama gue. Ternyata hp gw ketinggalan dikantor!! Akhirnya gw balik lagi ke lt.16 buat ambil hp gw. So I missed the 5.15 train, yang tadinya niat cepet sampe kampus akhirnya malah telat. Gue naik kreta 5.30 yang baru dateng jam5.50!! Ngaretnya ngga kira-kira deh. Biasanya nih kalo ngga ada pengawas gw bisa nyogok masinisnya H untuk nurunin gw di UI (paling kasih duit 2 ribu mereka udah diem). Akhirnya pas sampe Lenteng kita (gue, Dee & Iksan) siap-siap mau ke tempat masinis. Iksan ngomong,
"Wed, loe aja yang ngetok-ngetok jendela masinisnya. Biasanya kalo sama cw dia cepet nurutnya"
Jadilah gw pasang tampang "jualan" gw ke si pak masinis. Pas pintunya dibuka gw bilang (dengan muka jualan yang sebenernya menjijikkan),
"Sore paak...Aku turun di UI yah, sama temen2ku dua orang"
"Aduh, UI ya? Sorry ga bisa"
BRAKK!!! Pintu masinis ditutup dengan cepatnya sampe gw sempet ngga bergeming beberapa detik saking kagetnya...

Akhirnya kita baru bisa turun di Depok Baru. Mana ujan deres + geledek lagi. Tadinya rencana mau naik kreta balik aja biar cepet. Tapi ditungguin lama juga...Akhrinya kita keluar aja dari stasiun. Eh, pas baru keluar, lewatlah itu kreta balik. Mau ngejar juga udah ngga sanggup. Dee akhirnya nyeletuk,
"Gila..sial amat gw hari ini. Bener2 mau nangis nih gw!! Ada aja yang nyolek gw sekarang, on the spot..gw pasti langsung nangis!!"
Kita pun naik angkot ke UI...

Pas di angkot gw liat tuh H, dompet gw udah menipis...So I decided to go to ATM to take some money. Padahal siangnya gw baru aja bayar utang 20rb sama Dee. Pas udah sampe kampus Psikologi, gw ke ATM BCA, masukin kartu..dan muncullah tulisan menyeramkan,
MAAF, UNTUK SEMENTARA ATM TIDAK DAPAT DIGUNAKAN KARENA TERDAPAT KESALAHAN TEKNIS
Dangg!!!! Jantung gw berdetak makin cepet, air mata gw udah di ujung jurang. Gw tarik nafas dalam-dalam berusaha untuk ga meledak di ATM itu. Akhirnya gw keluar ATM dengan lesunya dan ngomong ke Dee,
"Dee, kayanya gw bakal ngutang sama elo lagi deh. I don't have money left in my pocket. AND I'M STARVING!!!" kata gw dengan agak histeris
"Ya ampuunn...Yaudah gapapa pake duit gw lagi aja. Gapapa kali Wed, kita kan ketemu dikantor tiap hari. Loe bisa ganti kapan aja"
"Thanks banget ya Dee" Detik itu juga gw rasanya mau nyium si Dee, hehehe...

Akhirnya kita ke kantin kampus mau pesen makan. Pas gw udek-udek hp ternyata gw baru nyadar hp gw tiba-tiba mati. Duh, pikir gw dlm hati, sejak kapan nih hp mati? Pas gw nyalain ga sampe satu menit sepupu gw (Yogie) nelp gw sambil marah-marah,
"Ya Allah Wed...Kok susah amat sih gw hubungin loe? Ada kali 20x gw nelponin loe mulu!!!!"
"Maaf Gie, gw ngga nyadar kayanya dr gw naik kreta hp gw udah mati. Emang ada apa Gie?"
"Gue baru dapet tiket Muse buat elo nih!! Loe kesini sekarang. Konsernya masih 1 jam lg!!"
JEDEERRRR.....!!!!! Detik itu juga gw ngga bisa nahan air mata gw yang daritadi udah mendesak ingin keluar..
"Hah?! HAH?! Loe dapet tiketnya? Loe dapet??...Loe...Hah!!!!"
"Iya..hah heh hoh aje..buru kesini"
"Gie...Gw ga bisaaaa!!! Gue udah diDepok sekarang!! Duh, gw nangis deh nih..." Suara gw udah tercekat, berbicara susah payah dalam tangisan gw, H...
"Ya ampuun Wed, elo sih kenapa hp pake mati segala?"
"I'm facing the worst evening...ever deh!!"
"Kenapa?"
"Ceritanya panjang...Udah Gie, pupus..Gw ga bisa nonton. Maaf ya"
"Yah..Yaudah deh"
"Maap..." Gue udah ngga kuat ngomong dan gw cuma bisa diem. Gue yakin dia juga udah ga tau mau ngomong apa...
"Ya udah, ntar kalo Muse-nya udah manggung gw telp elo"
"Lho...buat apa?"
"Biar elo juga bisa dengerin konser mereka. yaudah gw tutup sekarang yah, biar masih ada sisa pulsa buat nelp elo, okeh!! Bye.."
Klik..telp ditutup. Muka gw masih basah H, masih nangis. Sampe Dee kaget banget liat kesialan yang dateng ke gw bertubi-tubi.

Akhirnya gw sms Rian - temen pulang bareng gw - supaya pulangnya bareng,
"Yan, loe kul kan mlm ni?Plgnya brg yah!Gw ada diTakor, biasalah..Ntr lo lgsg ksni aj ya,tq.."
itu bunyi sms gw..dan balesan dari dia adalah,
"Waduh Wed soriii...hr ni gw ga blk krmh.Gw mo kemargonda sm tmn2 gw,ni udh mo jln.sorri ya Wed"
Pas baca sms itu gw ketawa H..iya ketawa. Trus gw bilang ke Dee
"Rian melengkapi kesialan gw Dee"
"Kenapa? Ngga bisa bareng loe ya?"
Gw mengangguk...Dee cuma mendekap tangan ke mulutnya sambil ngeliat gw. Gw rasa dia juga udah kehilangan kata2. Gw udah ngga kuat H, tiba-tiba gw ngerasa letiiih banget

"Gue pulang sekarang deh..Gue cape"
"Oke...istirahat ya Wed. Sabar..besok pasti udah baik lagi semuanya" Kata Dee
"Thanks Dee.."
Dan gw pulang, kehujanan, kelaparan (ngga sempet makan dikantin krn sibuk nangis H, hehehe...) dan membayangkan Yogie sekarang lg jejingkrakan nyanyi bareng Muse dan ribuan Muse-fanatic disana...

Hhh...Sial !!

- g -
Feb 23, 2007
11 pm
Cold Dormitory Room

Finally, I went home


I’m breathless by your yellowish silhouette…

Wordless by the greenish smiley grass

I’m speechless by your bluish seducing wind…

Lifeless when seeing those reddish flower dances with the rain


I’m stuck in the air

Drown in the sky

I see black as white

Feel love in hate


I won’t go home…No, I don’t wanna go home

I won’t care for you anymore

I won’t feel alone…No, I won’t cry alone

I won’t show you my weakest entity


So now, the wingless wind is here

The dancing grass is near

So there, the tall hilarious trees is speaking to me

They said, “Hey, believe nobody…As for now, you’ll safe, honey!”


And there I go, “No…I don’t wanna go home”

This is my home, I won’t be alone…

With the wind, the rain, the tress, the grass I live

And a piece of paper as the soul

I’ll survive…


So now, there I go…

Leave the place you called home

The place I called tormenting mansion


- g -

“I finally went home”

[Photographed by Mark Bialek / Kalamazoo Gazette]

while listening to a song "Good Enough" by Evanescence

They will...I won't

They'll come...But I won't come
They'll have fun...But I won't join them
They'll fly people high...But I won't raise my wings with them
They'll rock people's world...My world isn't one of them
They'll drown people in the addictive ecstacy...While I will drown in my fuckin duties.

They'll come for me..But I won't welcome them
Aduh MUSE....gue pengen nontoooonnn!!!!!!
*groan*

- g -

Dendam

Sudah lebih dari 45 menit kertas putih itu tergeletak kosong tertimpa sebuah pena hitam tak terjamah. Bahkan aku tak dapat menemukan padanan kata yang lugas untuk membuka tabir itu. Dan bukan bermaksud membuka kembali korengmu yang perlahan mongering dan pelan-pelan menghilang…Aku hanya gamang. Aku mengantuk sementara hatiku berontak, tak kuat mendera beban otot-otot mata yang mulai disfungsi untuk menjaga kornea hitam ini untuk tetap bersinar lantang menyalang. Aku tahu kau pasti sudah tertidur sekarang …Namun takdirmu tak pernah lelap, sayang. Biarkan ia bekerja sesuai dengan apa yang Tuhan kehendaki. Aku hanya gamang, sadar akan keinginan hati yang tak terjangakau oleh tanganku. Aku bukan penjahat, aku hanya ingin membalasmu yang sudah menjahatiku. Aku segalanya, dulu kau percaya itu. Aku masih segalanya, sayang…Kau hanya kurang beruntung dengan tidak diberkahi melihat dan menghayati hal itu. Semoga mimpimu indah, cinta…Mimpikanlah kehidupan tenang dan bahagia yang jarang sekali bekerja sama dengan realita. Bermimpilah, kekasih…Hiduplah dalam mimpimu, karena tak lama lagi takdir akan mulai bekerja dan datang padamu dakam wujud kematian. Cukuplah sudah, aku tak bisa menulis apa-apa lagi. Lebih baik kuputuskan saja selang oksigen penyambung kehidupanmu ini. Dan kemudian…dalam diam mengawasimu mati.

Aku termenung sambil mengawasi mimpi terindahku yang sedang terjadi…

- g -


[sambil mendengarkan lagu "Dendam" by Cokelat]

15.02.07

00.00 am

Writing

I will continue writing even if my hands are broken, my fingers are incomplete and my eyes are blind. I love to write, either with sanity or insanity. Coz sanity keeps me think and insanity keeps me creative. And the combination of them keeps me a whole, not just a plain soul covered with bones, blood, muscles and protected with skin.



- g -

Hellppp !!!!

"Kamu kerja disini udah berapa lama, Wed?"
"Hampir sebulan, Pak"
"Hmmm...Kamu kapan lulus?"
"Kalau skripsi saya bisa selesai semester ini bulan Juni Insya Allah saya sudah sidang, Pak"
"Wah...lama juga ya. Gini Wed, aku liat walau kamu belum lama kerja disini...Tapi aku melihat potensi besar dalam diri kamu. Beberapa kali aku kasih kamu assignment dan kamu bisa mengerjakannya dengan baik dan cepat. I'm impressed by your work. You're a fast learner dan menurutku kamu sangat smart."
"Terima kasih Pak" (dengan hati sedikit ge-er..)
"So...Pahami ini bahwa kesempatan itu selain didapatkan dari luar juga bisa dibangun mulai dari diri sendiri, Wed. I see "something" inside you, dan saya mau kasih jalan buat kamu mengembangkan karirmu dan menambah pengalamanmu. Ngga semua orang yang berpotensi punya kesempatan seluas kamu, Wed. Jadi saya harap kamu ngga nolak tawaran saya"
"Saya ngga akan nolak Pak. Tapi kuliah dan skripsi saya bagaimana?"
"Kamu yakin bisa selesaikan skripsimu dan lulus semester ini?"
........................................................................... [iwed mikir dalam diam]
"Wed??"
"Insya Allah bisa Pak, saya juga maunya bisa selesai sekarang. Biar ngga nyusahin orang tua melulu."
"Nah, kalau gitu saya akan tunggu sampai kamu lulus."
"Maaf pak, untuk posisi apa ya saya di promosikan?"
"Sekretaris, Wed."
DOOWWEEENNNGGG....!!!!!
[dan iwed sukses menganga...]

Tues, Feb 12 2007
Wisma Bakrie 2