April 30 – May 3, 2k8
Peucang Island…
HERE I COME!!!!
Can’t wait. Excited. Thrilled. Patient less. Huhuhu… Iwed the adventurer has back!!
April 30 – May 3, 2k8
Peucang Island…
HERE I COME!!!!
Can’t wait. Excited. Thrilled. Patient less. Huhuhu… Iwed the adventurer has back!!
Kemarin gw kena sial banget! Gara-gara Pudel [temen kantor] suruh gw ngintipin si babeh [boss.red] lagi ngapain di ruangannya, gw sampe nabrak partisi!
Kejadiannya begini, babeh gw itu termasuk Mr. Ring-ring. Kadang gw harus cek dulu do’i lagi on the line atau ngga, karena ngga enak juga kalo mau ganggu
“iwed”
“apa mba?”
“tolong intipin si bapak dong, dia lagi ngapain.”
“lagi online kali..” [padahal segen mau ngintip]
“sebentar aja Wed. Aku ngga bisa liat dari sini.”
“oke oke.”
Maka dengan lagak sok mau jalan ke arah ruangan Pudel yang emang sebelahan sama ruangan si babeh, sambil megang CDMA sok ngetik sms, jalanlah gw pelan-pelan ngelewatin ruangan bapak sambil nengok-nengok curi-curi pandang ke jendela ruangan do’i.
Jalan tegak… Ngga keliatan. Ah, nunduk dikit ah.. nah! Kliatan juga! Tapi si bapak lagi ngapain itu yah? Ngga kaya lagi nelepon, kaya lagi ngetik di komputernya. Eh tapi kok sambil ngobrol? Berarti dia online dong?
Gw tetep jalan, lurus… lurus… lurus… Tepat saat gw merasa kalo ada yang aneh sama arah jalan gw, pas banget waktu muka gw balikin ke depan…
GUBRAK!!!!!!
Mending kalo bahu, tangan atau kaki yang nabrak, ini MUKA man, muka!! Idung gw sampe sakit banget, nyut-nyutan gitu. Mana bunyinya keras banget lagi. Gw yakin banget lagi melakukan apapun babeh gw di ruangannya pasti dia kaget juga. Gw buru-buru “memperbaiki” setelan muka, otomatis clingak-clinguk liatin kira-kira mata siapa yang sempet ngerekam kejadian memalukan itu di benaknya. Ternyata diujung ruangan deket pantry si Nawan [
“nyebar ke orang-orang kantor gw hajar loe Wan..” kata gw sambil gosok-gosok idung.
“makanya… Huahahahahaha!! Ngintipin orang mulu sih kerjaan loe”
“Pudel yang nyuruh gw tau!”
“Huahahahahaha, udah disuruh dia yang kena getahnya, hahahaha…” dia ketawa ga slese2 sampe keluar air mata.
Sambil menggerutu gw masuk ruangan Pudel. Pas gw critain si Pudel ikutan ngakak sampe nangis. Awalnya gw pikir yang gw tabrak itu partisi ruangannya Pudel, ternyata ruangan babeh gw!! Untung dia ngga sampe keluar ruangan sambil mencak-mencak nyari oknum yang membuat keributan itu, kalo ngga
Duh ilah ampe sekarang idung gw masih pegel, nyeri gitu kalo gw pencet. Penderitaan gw bertambah waktu Pudel saut-sautan status di YM sama orang-orang kantor lain tentang insiden “iwed dan partisi” itu. Si Nawan pake nyeletuk, “Sayang ngga ada CCTV disini ngga kaya dikantor lama, kalo ada udah gw rekam trus gw sebar ke orang-orang kantor tuh! Hehehe…”
Huh, padahal mah tinggal ketok aja pintu si babeh trus liat dia lagi sibuk atau ngga, susah-susah amat pake ngintip ruangannya segala. Untung mata gw ngga sampe bintitan. Kapok deh ah, Pudel rese.
Duh, idung gw ngilu… Siyals! Hiks…
~G~
Everything seems to be going so fast to me. Like a series of pictures sliding each by each in front of my eyes without giving me any chance to figure out each meaning of those blurry visualization. Like a wheel rotating in one spot without making any progress to move forward. Every new question occurs even before I can answer the previous one. Every reality comes to me even before I can accept the reality that I was facing in the previous time. Every new silhouette forming even before the previous one has completely vanished.
Sometimes I think life is too difficult to understand and to run. I believe that things happen for reason, though most of the time I couldn’t find any logical answers to questions I’ve wondered about life, my life. I’m facing a complicated life these lately days. Tough, yes… But many of them are the blessing I received from God. But first I have to make quick adaptations first before I could really get into it.
Reality is like my shock therapy. It hurts. It bites. But it can make me get back to my consciousness. Reality is a bittersweet chocolate. Reality is a bottle of red wine. I hate reality and I present my hatred by getting emotionally involved in it. I hate it by needing it. I hate it by getting addicted to it. I hate it by cannot living without it.
Reality and dreams are like separated twins. Sometimes I can’t differentiate between one another. Sometimes I get them twisted. Sometimes I live with both twins, sometimes I live with none of them and sometimes I feel they both take my life away.
To be able to differentiate them I just have one simple thing to feel; the hurter one from the twins is the reality. That is, if you are sane enough to see the difference. And mostly people lost their sanity when facing them.
Reality bites. It has intoxicating fangs that can set the altitude and sharpness by its own.
Katamu akhirnya khatam.
Kataku akhirnya khatam.
Kata hatiku bilang ini tambah panjang, jauh dari khatam.
Tapi aku hanya diam. Karena aku menikmati.
Disisi lain kemungkinan, yang dinikmati itu adalah rasa nyeri.
Menggunduk, bergunduk membuat gundukan.
Kau seperti akan mendiamkan.
Mengawasi lembar-lembar menggunduk meninggi.
Aku seperti akan membiarkan.
Menertawai gundukan yang semakin membuat nyeri.
Lalu kita akan memakan lembaran itu bersama-sama.
Seperti tikus-tikus kotor yang kelaparan.
Memakan habis isi cerita dalam tiap sapuan lembar.
Sampai tenggorokan lecet, sampai suara serak.
Orang-orang akan mencemooh kita.
Kita membuat sampah untuk kita telan sendiri.
Kita membuat bau untuk kita hirup sendiri.
Kita membuat luka kesakitan untuk kita rintihi sendiri.
Tapi toh gundukan itu masih rendah.
Masih ada waktu, kita masih bisa bercanda-canda.
waktu akan datang bersama kenyataan.
Bagai air bah di gurun pasir, kita tidak akan siap.
Walau aku sudah bisa mencium bau busuknya dari sini.
Sekarang ini.
Detik ini.
Lembar-lembar itu masih menggunduk.
Masih jauh dari khatam.
Maka tertawalah, sayang.
Kita nikmati saja dulu rasa nyeri, sebelum pedih itu akhirnya melingkupi.
~G~
Anak kecil dengan pistol
Berlarian ke segala sudut ruang
Memegang sepucuk senapan
Dia menyiapkan peluru lalu menarik pelatuk
Dar… Der… Dor!!!
Dia tidak perduli dengan bidikan
Tak mau tahu apakah tepat sasaran
Dia sangat menyukai sensasi yang ditimbulkannya
Reaksi kegaduhan luar biasa yang tercipta
Menghidupkan ketegangan yang sarat akan rasa
Semua berdebar-debar dan menebak-nebak
Kirakah sang peluru mengenainya?
Dia ingin membalaskan dendam
Kepada siapapun yang mencuri senjatanya
Senjata itu terampas darinya, yang paling berharga
Busurnya, panahnya dan sayapnya
Kini tak ada, kini tak bersisa
Pistol inilah yang sekarang dia miliki, senjata jua kah ini?
Entahlah… Yang pasti ini bisa menusuk jiwa
Lebih tajam, menusuk dan mengena
Anak kecil dengan pistol
Menembak kesana-kemari tak beraturan
Dengan peluru runcing memerah
Lebih tajam, menusuk dan mengena
Dia tidak peduli pada bidikan dan sasaran
Dia pun tak tahu aku adalah salah satu korban
Dia hanya ingin balaskan dendam
Karena dia tak bisa lagi menjadi Si Mak Comblang
Tak bisa terbang kembali ke surga
Untuk memberikan laporan cinta pada Sang Kuasa
Anak kecil dengan pistol marah
Dia menembak membabi-buta ke segala arah
DAR… DER… DOR!!!
~G~
A woman in a black veil stands still she stares away to the limitless sky up the hill. She can’t find what she’s been searching. All that she found was all camouflaged visions dissolved with deceiving feelings she catches every one step she makes ahead – limping. It is as much as she has been hoping for a node of – even a fake – love from her long-just-like-forever waited man of her dream. Intoxicating confusion dares nothing for her, appears without any pain for she knows that none of those feelings she could gain.
A woman in a black veil walks, feels her anxiety yawning and thundering like the sound of quint-toms befitted with the marching squad in the land of tribulation. It creates spooky echoes all around it gets even spookier when she cries – almost screams – with deadly piteous wails comes out from her mouth. She’s likely to re-question her desires to the unseen Lord, re-demand her claims and re-assertion her wants as she will chase them to wherever the end is.
With smile that only she can make, faith that only she can keep and hope that only she can pursue, she remains alive most likely because she forces it. As to hope all things will finally revealed, even when it finally does, nothing left from her… not even her heart, the warmest side.
~G~
*Dedicated to Rara, my Black Kruznik sister [Thanks for the picture, sist... -Love-]
When you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
Dear you…
You have no idea how much I’m waiting for that day to come and seize us. Why do we have to taste the bitterness now for we never taste the sweetness first? Maybe it was my bad… I know it was. I left my regret unsaid that day, but everything is never too late to say, isn’t it? So, is it that hard to forgive me? For my foolishness and my stupidity for letting my ego talked rather than my heart?
You have no idea how much I miss you and hate you at the same time for I know that you won’t be here right next to me even if I let my voice get damaged because of yelling your name dozen times! I hate you coz you started it first and not able to finish it. I hate you coz you make things look so unfair to me but somehow look so right for both of us. I hate you coz the more I want to let you go, the more it kills me. I hate this condition and so I hate you.
Only God who has the answer to all of my never-ending questions; including this. I really wanna make it work like what I’ve been expecting within these times and oh phu-leease make it work! And everything will be a lot easier for me to handle, and hopefully for you too. I put my expectation as high as I can and as low as I can. Whatever it is, the point is I try to be logic and realistic, yet it doesn’t destroy the romance inside me. I’m not playing any games here, dear boy… I’m tired of playing anyway.
I curse a lot when remembering about us. How it all won’t be easy for us. Any path chosen will be the biggest obstacle to get through. I got hurt so many times that I need not to remember it. But still, it turns to be my noisiest alarm to keep me aware, eyes open, mind thinks, emotions down and mouth shut. You are different, on the other side you’re packaged the same wrapper. I feel comfort in my anxiety, I feel secure in my awareness, I feel healed in my renewed wound. You are the heaven stays in hell.
I wish I never see you. I wish I never know you. I wish I never like you, care for you and miss you like the way I do. And I wish I would never say something like this anymore coz I know by saying that, I will be the biggest lousiest liar in the whole wide world.
~G~
*Very very belated post [Nov 18, 07 – 11 pm]
You say this…
Say that
Shit here
Shit there
Spit a bit
Spit a lot
Fart silently
Fart loudly
Even not a single mark left in my spot. Sometimes things I left unsaid about you can be billion times truer than all those speeches you’ve been – kindly though pointlessly – told to people about me. All that matters to you is to let everybody knows what kind of issue you are dealing with at the moment. Let the gong roars and wakes up all people in the midnight, coz the princess wants to whine and shout and they all have to listen and follow the will of the princess like dead zombies with empty stares, rhyming jumps and hands up to their fronts while doing what their master commands. A princess to dead zombies with blackest dreadful souls. To hear, to entertain and to let you alone all by yourself again… anymore.
And you will do it again an again when you feel like to. And again, they will rise up from their graves and do the same old thing to you. And you will end up alone…
And again…
Anymore…
Never can learn, can you?
Pity :)
Imron: Ass..wed si buday accident tuh.ktnya lu dsuruh bsuk dia dimayang.
Iwed: Accident apaan Ron?Trs dia kondisinya gmn skrg?
Imron: Sory td gw lg dijln.ktnya sih tabrakan.gw jg blm tau kondisinya dia.cb sms or tlp aja ke dia.
The next day…
Iwed: Die cintakuh..Loe kecelakaan ya?Td mlm imron sms gw.Tabrakan gmn Die?
Die: Iya nih,jahat skali..gw sakit ga d temenin,pdhl dngr suara lu aja deh say bengkak gw psti kemps n tertutup smua luka..Halah..Ga kok gw gpp say,em met ngtake ya
Then I called him and we talked…
Die: Hehe..Sori ya semalem lg ada lu kli d pala gw jd ksebut k imron gt,tuh anak jg ngladenin lg..Tp asik si jd d tlp lu hari ini hehehe..Makasih ya
Iwed: Hoho..Lo kangen ma gw yaa?Uhuyy dikangenin sm die,jd enak,hahaha..Mg2 tgl9 qta jd 1stage ya biar bs ktmu lg.Gw jg udh kangen :p bsk telp2an lg ya,get well soon
Die: Sip..gw bkl cpt smbuh nih,tp janji ngetake vocal hari ini harus keren..sekeren kerennya ya.Oke say salam buat yg laen..Daag
The next day…
Die: Hi gmn kmrn takenya?
Iwed: Udh slese smua doong..Para vokalis sdh bs tdr nyenyak,hehe..Gmn cintaku sdh kerja lg? :)
Die: :D hahaha..sip deh,iye td pagi brngkt ngebis..Smpe ktr jam 10 hahaha
Iwed: Huahahaha..Motor msk rmh sakit jg bang? :D
Die: Lagi musuhan aja,jd gw cuekin gt deh.Cintaku lg d ktr?
Iwed: Iya cintah..Gw br aja kelar nulis komen buat lo,hehe..Gw pgn curhat sbnrnya.1 lg anggota DL yg resign gr2 dia pikir gw&rins sngja bkn DL utk jd fansnya Gelap :D
Die: Hahaha..ada2 aja,ya udah crita dong..lu taukan gw snng dngr suara lu :) tp ntar aja deh gw tlp lu,gw lg di uber bkin cover bang oma say..gpp yah
Iwed: Santai aja cintah,ntr mlm jg bs.Hati2 ntr lo pulangnya ye..Ntr nabrak lg brabe,hehe..Ntr klo udh sampe mayang salamin buat Bounty&Dila ya.Met ngjr deadline,mwah
Die: Makasi sayang..Hati2 jg ya
The next day…
Imron: Ass..wed udh tlp buday blm?
Iwed: Walaikumsalam wr wb.Udh kq kmrn gw telp,hr minggu.Dia mah emg lg manja aje tuh,hehe.Emg dia ngmgnya gmn sih sm elo bro?
Imron: Sory br bangun bu’.owh udh tlp toh.krain blm.iye kmren2 gw tnya dia,gmn pak udh agak baikan blm eh dia blang mlah gw btuh suster mron.tp klo iwed mau ga yah?gt deh dia blang.hehehe manja dia
Iwed: Hahaha..Orang gila tuh si item 1 itu.Kmrn pas gw telp dia jg crita bgtu.Klo kmrn gw latian si gw bs mampir k mayang.Mslhnya kmrn gw nge-take d ciputat,jd ga bs
Imron: Hehehehe ngatain orng item,ntr jd suka loh….udh sm buday aja =) tengokin dong biar cpet smbuh.
Iwed: Jgn ah,ntr klo jdian ma dia gw ribut mulu ama Biyo gr2 rebutan Die malem2,huahahaha..Ancuur!Dia udh ngantor lg kq dr kmrn cm nge-bus.Msh trauma kali bw mtr :D
Imron: Hehehe tp suka
Iwed: Bused,kq jd lo yg ngotot suruh gw jdian sm si item?Dibayar brp lo ma dia?Hahaha..Gw ogah ah sm duda walaupun jam terbang lbh tinggi,huahahaha!Bcanda2 bro :D
Imron: Hahahaha gw
Udah ah, makin aneh ini teh… Anak2 yang markasnya di Mayang ngga beres smua otaknya :D