Pity Hinny Honey

You say this…

Say that

Shit here

Shit there

Spit a bit

Spit a lot

Fart silently

Fart loudly

Even not a single mark left in my spot. Sometimes things I left unsaid about you can be billion times truer than all those speeches you’ve been – kindly though pointlessly – told to people about me. All that matters to you is to let everybody knows what kind of issue you are dealing with at the moment. Let the gong roars and wakes up all people in the midnight, coz the princess wants to whine and shout and they all have to listen and follow the will of the princess like dead zombies with empty stares, rhyming jumps and hands up to their fronts while doing what their master commands. A princess to dead zombies with blackest dreadful souls. To hear, to entertain and to let you alone all by yourself again… anymore.

And you will do it again an again when you feel like to. And again, they will rise up from their graves and do the same old thing to you. And you will end up alone…

And again…

Anymore…

Never can learn, can you?

Pity :)

The first timE

Everyone always have their first time in everything; The first breathe, the first blink, the first cry, the first walk, the first word spoken, the first day in school, the first job, the first fight, the first kiss, the first boyfriend/girlfriend, the first break-up, the first sex, the first sickness and lots of other first-times. And now, it's my first time assigned in my new position - a better yet scarier career with more responsibility and higher risks than before. Already put my left feet there - terrifyingly. Now it's time to put my other weakened right foot on the same spot next to the left one.

Bismillah... I know I could do it. I have to do it. Mom, pray to Allah for me, will ya? Okay, get ready... My first time!

~G~

Because I Said So [2007]

Daphne Wilder is a mother whose love knows no bounds or boundaries. As a single parent, she has raised three fantastic girls--klutzy, adorable Milly, stable psychologist Maggie and sexy and irreverent Mae--to become the kind of women any mom would die to have. The only problem is they're about to strangle her. In order to prevent her youngest, Milly, from making the same romantic mistakes she did, Daphne decides to set her up with the perfect man. The one thing Daphne decides not to tell Milly, however, is that she placed an ad in the online personals to find him. If anyone knows exactly what her daughter does and doesn't need out of a long-term relationship (or clothes or her career), it's Daphne. Comic mayhem unfolds as the well-intended mom continues to do the wrong thing for the right reasons--all in the name of love for her beloved daughter. Is the man of Daphne's (er, um--Milly's) dreams the responsible architect Jason, or is he the free-spirited rocker Johnny? Daphne will continue to push, cajole, suggest and nudge her way into Milly's smallest of decisions until she rights the wrongs of her own life choices or drives her girl nuts. But once Johnny's own father, Joe, catches a buried spark within Daphne, things really start to heat up for the Wilder matriarch. Finally letting herself begin to fall, Daphne begins to wonder if she is just pushing her girls as a way of ignoring her own issues.

*****

Hilarious! That's the first opinion came out from my mind after watched this movie. Mandy Moore is just such a sweet girl-next-door kinda like! The movie tells about a single parent named Daphne who has three beautiful daughters; Milly, Mae and Maggie. All the four girls are so blended each other. Milly is the first daughter who gets married, then Mae is the next. When it comes to Maggie, Daphne sees something wrong. Maggie's love-life is such a disaster. She never had a healthy relationship with men, having a gay boyfriend be her climax, till she promised to herself to be alone all by herself for the rest of her life: the last thing her mom wish to happen to her daughters... Because Daphne doesn't want her daughters end up like her; being alone.

Been terribly worried about the possibility that Maggie could end up being an ugly virgin old hag, Daphne arranges some meetings with some chosen guys she saw from the match-making founder on the internet. This is where all the funny and hilarious things happen. She found a perfect guy for Maggie, then they date... Meanwhile, in the same time Maggie's seeing someone else too. She's been unconsciously enjoy all the different sensations she gets from both guys she's been dating with. Until one day one of them caught her with her other date, and that's where all the chaos start, especially when Maggie finally realizes that it's her mother who - for this long time - has been the mastermind of matchmaking her to a guy through the matchmaking founder in the internet. Lots of funny scenes will be found here, and the ending is so sweet but predictable.

Well, what do you expect. I'm a happy-ending-movie-beyotch, lol

~G~

Begah

Lama-lama gue begah sama Facebook.

Stop giving me useless slowering-the-internet-connection applications, will ya? Ngga liat ya page Facebook gue udah panjang gilaaa...!!!

Rumpi-rumpi ngga juntrung

Imron: Ass..wed si buday accident tuh.ktnya lu dsuruh bsuk dia dimayang.

Iwed: Accident apaan Ron?Trs dia kondisinya gmn skrg?

Imron: Sory td gw lg dijln.ktnya sih tabrakan.gw jg blm tau kondisinya dia.cb sms or tlp aja ke dia.

The next day…

Iwed: Die cintakuh..Loe kecelakaan ya?Td mlm imron sms gw.Tabrakan gmn Die?

Die: Iya nih,jahat skali..gw sakit ga d temenin,pdhl dngr suara lu aja deh say bengkak gw psti kemps n tertutup smua luka..Halah..Ga kok gw gpp say,em met ngtake ya

Then I called him and we talked…

Die: Hehe..Sori ya semalem lg ada lu kli d pala gw jd ksebut k imron gt,tuh anak jg ngladenin lg..Tp asik si jd d tlp lu hari ini hehehe..Makasih ya

Iwed: Hoho..Lo kangen ma gw yaa?Uhuyy dikangenin sm die,jd enak,hahaha..Mg2 tgl9 qta jd 1stage ya biar bs ktmu lg.Gw jg udh kangen :p bsk telp2an lg ya,get well soon

Die: Sip..gw bkl cpt smbuh nih,tp janji ngetake vocal hari ini harus keren..sekeren kerennya ya.Oke say salam buat yg laen..Daag

The next day…

Die: Hi gmn kmrn takenya?

Iwed: Udh slese smua doong..Para vokalis sdh bs tdr nyenyak,hehe..Gmn cintaku sdh kerja lg? :)

Die: :D hahaha..sip deh,iye td pagi brngkt ngebis..Smpe ktr jam 10 hahaha

Iwed: Huahahaha..Motor msk rmh sakit jg bang? :D

Die: Lagi musuhan aja,jd gw cuekin gt deh.Cintaku lg d ktr?

Iwed: Iya cintah..Gw br aja kelar nulis komen buat lo,hehe..Gw pgn curhat sbnrnya.1 lg anggota DL yg resign gr2 dia pikir gw&rins sngja bkn DL utk jd fansnya Gelap :D

Die: Hahaha..ada2 aja,ya udah crita dong..lu taukan gw snng dngr suara lu :) tp ntar aja deh gw tlp lu,gw lg di uber bkin cover bang oma say..gpp yah

Iwed: Santai aja cintah,ntr mlm jg bs.Hati2 ntr lo pulangnya ye..Ntr nabrak lg brabe,hehe..Ntr klo udh sampe mayang salamin buat Bounty&Dila ya.Met ngjr deadline,mwah

Die: Makasi sayang..Hati2 jg ya

The next day…

Imron: Ass..wed udh tlp buday blm?

Iwed: Walaikumsalam wr wb.Udh kq kmrn gw telp,hr minggu.Dia mah emg lg manja aje tuh,hehe.Emg dia ngmgnya gmn sih sm elo bro?

Imron: Sory br bangun bu’.owh udh tlp toh.krain blm.iye kmren2 gw tnya dia,gmn pak udh agak baikan blm eh dia blang mlah gw btuh suster mron.tp klo iwed mau ga yah?gt deh dia blang.hehehe manja dia

Iwed: Hahaha..Orang gila tuh si item 1 itu.Kmrn pas gw telp dia jg crita bgtu.Klo kmrn gw latian si gw bs mampir k mayang.Mslhnya kmrn gw nge-take d ciputat,jd ga bs

Imron: Hehehehe ngatain orng item,ntr jd suka loh….udh sm buday aja =) tengokin dong biar cpet smbuh.

Iwed: Jgn ah,ntr klo jdian ma dia gw ribut mulu ama Biyo gr2 rebutan Die malem2,huahahaha..Ancuur!Dia udh ngantor lg kq dr kmrn cm nge-bus.Msh trauma kali bw mtr :D

Imron: Hehehe tp suka kan?udh jgn dithan2..nti kbwa mimpi loh.urusan biyo mah gmpang,biar gw yg handle hahahaha.iya dia udh msk lg.tp dia blang krjaannya ga diperpnjang.

Iwed: Bused,kq jd lo yg ngotot suruh gw jdian sm si item?Dibayar brp lo ma dia?Hahaha..Gw ogah ah sm duda walaupun jam terbang lbh tinggi,huahahaha!Bcanda2 bro :D

Imron: Hahahaha gw kan hanya mmbantu tmn yg pd sndrian.drpada sndri kan mnding brdua =) tp kan duda ky buday beda sm duda2 yg laen.

Udah ah, makin aneh ini teh… Anak2 yang markasnya di Mayang ngga beres smua otaknya :D

Haunted

I run
He still can catch me
I hide
He still can find me
I close my eyes
He still can read my mind
I lock the door
He can unlocked it
I scream
He can shut my mouth up
I beg
He doesn't want to listen
I cry
He smiles devilry
I said no
He still fuck me
I wake up panicky
He's gone...

Thank God!

~G~

Photo: iwed

Cheese cake

Thanks AK my man... Cheese cake untuk bikin cemberut gw ilang dan berganti dengan senyuman. The hell with my diet. Udah turun 3 kilo juga dalam waktu seminggu ini, sedikit guilty pleasure ngga apa-apa deh. There's always an exception for all the PMS-ers...

*giggle*

Unprepared for this thoughtful planning

This is really a big steppingstone for me. I'm goin to start it just in the minute-counting later. But even until this very second I'm not sure whether I am ready for it. I'm not sure whether I can face with it and deal with all things whatsoever. This is so embarrassing! I lose before I fight, this is so not me. I think it will be better if I know nothing about the situation that is running there before I'd say "Yes" then have been knowing it for... well, for this long time!!

I'm panic, I'm confused. But there, my tongue already said the agreement coz at that time I didn't see anything except chance, a good one. Before then I realized with what kind of "thing" I will be dealing with... Oh geez I'm getting weaker, or getting afraid. Afraid of change, afraid of challenge, afraid of getting out from my lullabying comfort zone and finally get to know what "real" life is. Oh God I'm not ready, I'm so not ready... I feel like I've been throwing into a chaos war empty-handed and without any tactics.

Breathe... just breathe...

+++Written on Feb 25, 08+++

Pending meeting, bleh...!!

I feel a bit sad right now. Actually I should have been in one stage with my boyfriend last night in a gig called "Metal Divas' Fest", but since the accident in the Braga building, many gigs were cancelled coz the committees didn't get the permission to held their events. Though Metal Divas was finally held last night, unfortunately all bands from outside Jakarta sadly been cancelled to perform there. The sponsor didn't want to take a higher risk than what it should be. So, in short, Sadie was also been cancelled to perform there. I miss Arez so fvckin much, it's been more than 2 months we haven't meet each other yet. And it's just another chance that slips up from us to meet again

So then we were just calling each other and cursed as rude as we want becoz of this unfortunate fate of us *sobs*, but then he promised me that he will come to Jakarta soon and meet me [and my parents maybe? Amin, hohoho...]. I got so exhausted after performing in Tangerang and I soon got back to Harry's car to lay back a bit. On our way home, I got one MMS from him. He sent me his photo with Tantra [his bassist] that very moment when we texts each other.

And oh geez... look how narcissistic he is!! Hahahahaha...
Well, Finally I have a great competitor for my narcissism

Huff... I'm in a very high need right now. And I'm sick *sniff*

+++written on Feb 24, 08++

~G~

Buat elo... Iya elo!!

Loe tuh ya... Jadi orang kok NORAK banget sih? Malu tau ngga sama umur loe!! Loe pikir loe keren gitu ya dengan show off ke orang-orang tentang apa yang terjadi sama elo sekarang? Bangga gitu loe bisa kaya gini sekarang? I don't give any fvckin sh!t ya dengan apa yang loe kerjakan, gw udah dengan rapi nyimpen semua rahasia elo... Semua borok2 elo cuma sampe ke kuping gw, ngga sampe ke mulut gw. Tapi suddenly saat aksi "showing off" loe itu loe bawa2 nama gw!! Hey man, GET REAL dong! Loe pikir gw bangga berurusan sama elo untuk hal NGGA PENTING kaya gitu? Loe berasa hebat gitu ya karena orang-orang jadi berpikir kita berdua jadi punya semacam "urusan pribadi"? Loe pikir itu semua bisa menaikkan nilai "jual" elo di mata orang-orang dengan jadi bahan gosipan ter-hot dan jadi manusia ter-happening saat ini??

Hufff... Gila ya? Gw awalnya berpikir loe orang yang asik, orang yang tau gimana membawa diri. Ternyata loe PARAH man! Parah abiss!! Loe rela merendahkan diri loe sendiri di mata orang2 yang "berpikir" untuk naikkin derajat loe dimata orang2 yang "berotak di dengkul". Gila loe harusnya malu sama pendidikan dan umur yang udah loe capai, man! You should use ur brain, u are a man not a brainless animal!

Puber kedua atau apa sih loe ini???? Memuakkan!!!

~iwed~

My Blueberry Nights [2007]

In Wong Kar Wai's debut English language feature, the internationally acclaimed director takes his audience on a dramatic journey across the distance between heartbreak and a new beginning.

After a rough break-up, Elizabeth (played by songstress Norah Jones in her screen debut) sets out on a journey across America, leaving behind a life of memories, a dream and a soulful new friend -- a café owner (Jude Law) -- all while in search of something to mend her broken heart. Waitressing her way through the country, Elizabeth befriends others whose yearnings are greater than hers, including a troubled cop (David Strathairn) and his estranged wife (Rachel Weisz) and a down-on-her luck gambler (Natalie Portman) with a score to settle.

Through these individuals, Elizabeth witnesses the true depths of loneliness and emptiness, and begins to understand that her own journey is part of a greater exploration within herself.

***

Film ini bisa dibilang agak unik sih, mungkin karena sutradaranya bukan tipe2 "Hollywood" banget, jadi penyajian gambarnya agak different. Gw personally termotivasi film ini karena ada Jude Law dan Natalie Portman [of course!] dan penasaran sama akting perdananya Norah Jones disini. Ternyata itu cewe punya bakat juga jadi aktris, aktingnya ngga kaku.. terlihat natural. Sayangnya doi belum dikasih terlalu banyak dialog disini walau dia yang jadi pemeran utamanya.

Akting Portman - seperti biasa - selalu memuaskan! Playing as a unbeatable gambler yang pinjem duit ke Jones dengan mobil mewahnya yang dipertaruhkan, semua hanya untuk supaya bisa kembali lagi ke meja judi dan menang. Akhirnya Portman dan Jones berpetualang bersama dan mereka jadi deket, sampai akhirnya mereka pisah jalan saat Jones udah berhasil beli mobil sendiri.

Intinya ceritanya sih sebenernya Jones yang terpuruk karena patah hati ingin berubah demi hidupnya sendiri dan kebahagiaannya sendiri, walau awalnya dia ngga tau bagaimana caranya, Maka mulailah dia mengembara cari duit sana sini, mulai belajar dari kejadian2 hidup yang dia hadapi, dan Jude Law dan Natalie Portman adalah sedikit orang yang menyadarkan dia akan arti hidup dan cinta yang sebenarnya.

Not bad, tapi liat gaya penyutradaraan si Wong Kar Wai jadi berasa nonton Kill Bill versi drama percintaan, hahahaha... Aneh sih, tapi asik :p Oiya one more, adegan ciumannya Jones sama Law di menit2 terakhir film bener2 sweet banget, bikin senyum2 sendiri sambil berandai2 kalo kita sendiri yang di cium seperti itu. So romantic. Ngga heran itu yang dijadiin cover film-nya ^__^

Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Ah gila, film ini te-o-pe-be-ge-te!!!!! Film2 Jhonny Depp emang ngga ada yang mengecewakan, semuanya keren! Tahun ini mungkin film dia yang paling keren!! Nuansa "dark"nya kental banget, dramanya ada, film musikal juga, crime dan suspense-nya sadis abiss... Blood everywhere, once again, always be my favorite movie to watch!

Film ini bercerita tentang seorang baber bernama Benjamin Parker yang tinggal bersama istri dan bayi cantik mereka bernama Joanna di sebuah rumah di Fleet Street. Suatu hari sang istri dan anak diculik dari Parker oleh Judge Turpin dan Parker di asingkan di pulau terpencil untuk bertahun-tahun lamanya

Akhirnya dengan bantuan seorang sailor muda bernama Anthony, Parker bisa kembali ke London untuk membalaskan dendamnya ke Judge dan siapapun yang pernah membantu Judge dalam usaha menculik anak-istrinya dan mengasingkan dia. Tapi dia udah mengganti namanya jadi Sweeney Todd, dalam appearance juga dia yakin dia ngga akan dikenali sebagai si barber bernama Benjamin Parker lagi, karena semuanya udah berubah; mukanya jadi mengurus, matanya menghitam, ngga ada lagi kegembiraan dan ketampanan tersisa dari wajahnya karena tumpukan dendamnya sama si Judge. Dia kembali lagi ke rumahnya yang dulu yang di lantai bawahnya ditempati sebuah pie shop yang terkenal dengan rasanya yang paling mengerikan yang dikelola sama Mrs. Lovett. Mrs. Lovett dengan senang hati menerima kembali si Sweeney dan juga bersedia membantu Sweeney membalaskan dendamnya ke Judge dkk sekaligus mencari lagi anak-istrinya.

Satu persatu korban berjatuhan di tangan Sweeney melalui pisau cukurnya yang selalu tajam terasah. Darah segar mengucur di leher semua orang yang datang berkunjung ke barbershop-nya, dari mulai yang berkaitan dengan Judge sampai yang tidak. Sweeney jadi terobsesi dengan pembunuhan, apalagi sejak si Anthony menggagalkan rencanya membunuh Judge yang udah tinggal sedetik lagi, membuat Sweeney marah bukan kepalang. Akhirnya dia membunuh semua orang tanpa melihat kaitannya dengan Judge, semuanya... kecuali tiap laki2 yang membawa serta anak-istrinya ke barbershop-nya. Anthony sendiri ngga sengaja menggagalkan rencana Sweeney karena dia ingin minta bantuan Sweeney membebaskan Joanna [anak Sweeney] dari jeratan Judge, karena Joanna akan segera dinikahkan paksa, Anthony ngga rela karena dia jatuh cinta sama Joanna yang cantik.

Mrs. Lovett masih membantu Sweeney dalam aksi bunuh membunuhnya. Hal ini menguntungkan Mrs. Lovett, karena mayat2 korban Sweeney akhirnya mampu meningkatkan penjualan pie dagingnya. Dengan cara apa? dengan cara daging2 mayat itu dibuat sebagai isi daging pie-nya [yuck, i knew u would say that! hahaha...], jadi Mrs. Lovett menggiling daging2 mereka di mesin penggilingan yang dia punya dibawah tanah. Sedangkan Sweeney punya alat "peluncur mayat" yang habis dia gorok dari kursi cukurnya langsung kebawah [dungeon] yang kangsung Mrs. Lovett taruh di mesin penggilingan. Pie dagingnya langsung jadi santapan fave orang2 London tanpa mereka tau bahwa bisa jadi itu daging ayah / abang mereka sendiri yang mereka makan. Ngga lama Sweeney dan Mrs. Lovett pun menikah, walaupun ngga pernah sedetikpun Sweeney cinta sama Mrs. Lovett. Wanita yang dia cintai cuma Lucy, istrinya seorang. Dia menikahi Mrs. Lovett hanya supaya wanita ini mau terus bantu dia sampai dendamnya terbalaskan.

Aksi pasangan jahat ini lama2 tercium juga sama Toby [yang akhirnya ikut Mrs. Lovett sejak kabur dari mantan majikannya yang keras]. Toby melihat keanehan ini sejak sengaja dikurung diruang bawah tanah, dia liat ada yang aneh di mesin penggilingan. Setelah diliat lebih dekat ternyata ada jari kaki manusia disitu. Sweeney dan Mrs. Lovett emang berniat mau bunuh Toby juga. Kehebohan terjadi di ruang bawah tanah itu. Kematian yang ngga di duga2 dan tragis. Sweeney, Mrs. Lovett dan Toby di ruang bawah tanah. Anthony mencari Sweeney dan Joanna yang terkurung di barbershop Sweeney dan hampir mati di tangan ayahnya sendiri.

Siapa yang mati dan siapa yang selamat? Endingnya bener2 ngga terduga dan bikin merinding. Percaya atau ngga, gw nonton film ini dari jam10-12 malem, habis itu gw tidur, langsung KEBAWA MIMPI!! Gila film ini emang dark banget, bener2 ngga ada sisi cheerful-nya, bikin keingetan, haunting banget. Tapi aktingnya Jhonny Depp sama Helena Bonham Carter, duh... bener2 deh. 10 jempol deh buat pasangan ini. Film musikal ini lagu2nya juga dark dan enak2 banget! Hebatnya lagu2nya dibawain langsung oleh masing2 aktor, ngga pake dubing. Suara si abang Depp enak juga, Helena juga bagus suaranya.

Worth to watch... Aware aja tapi, habis nonton ini pasti kebayang mulu sama adegan2nya. Satu saran gw; JANGAN TUTUP MATA LOE!!! Mau sesadis apapun scene-nya, tetep di tonton. Kalo ngga gitu, atmosfir horornya ngga akan kena. I'm lost my words lah, pokoknya tonton aja :)

Sydney White

After pledging her late-mother's once dignified sorority, a college freshman aligns herself with seven social outcasts in an attempt to influence change over the school's flawed social hierarchy in this comedy starring Amanda Bynes. College freshman Sydney White (Bynes) has just arrived at Southern Atlantic University ready and eager to pledge her late mother's sorority. Once upon a time this sorority was dignified and respected, but that pristine reputation has been tarnished now that blonde tyrant Rachel (Sara Paxton) has taken over as Student Council President. After surviving the sorority's vigorous pledging process, Syd is quickly banished for daring to question Rachel's regime. Now left with nowhere to go but a condemned house on the edge of Greek Row, the dejected and rejected pledge quickly makes friends with seven of the biggest social outcasts on campus. But while these socially challenged frat boys may not be much to look at, it gradually becomes apparent to Syd that they all have their fare share of admirable qualities - especially love-struck super-geek Tyler (Matt Long). Perhaps if these nerdy frat boys and their new queen could successfully shake up the system by staging a successful takeover of the student government, the could restore the once-proud reputation of this prestigious university and offer a glimmer of hope to campus geeks everywhere!

***

Gw mulai suka sama Amanda Bynes ini. Selain aktingnya oke juga, cantiknya tuh ngga "pasaran". Ngga super cantik juga sih, tapi ga pernah bosen mandangin wajahnya. Udah gitu aslinya ini cewe emang tipe2 tomboy + cuek gitu [fave gw banget!]. Dulu sebelum ini gw suka peran dia di "She's The Man". Di film ini dia berperan jadi cewe tomboy lagi yang berusaha get mingled dengan temen2 cewenya yang tergabung dalam keluarga "Kappa" [dimana almarhum nyokapnya jadi salah satu pendiri Kappa sisterhood ini]. Tapi semenjak Kappa dipegang sama Rachel Witchburn, semua hal di kendalikan dengan "Greek" way, sehingga ngga akan ada kesempatan selain dari pendukung Greek untuk unjuk kebolehan disitu, ngga terkecuali si "Seven Dorks" yang paling dibuang di sekolah itu.

Baru beberapa hari selama Pledging, berulang kali Sydney bikin Rachel kesel; dari mulai gayanya yang "cewe" banget, dideketin sama si Prince [mantannya Rachel] sampe bisa masuk ke daftar "Hottest chick" di situs resmi sekolahnya dan mengancam posisi Rachel yang - as always - unbeatable di nomor 1. Akhirnya pas penobatan Kappa sisterhood, Sydney dengan kejamnya dipermalukan didepan umum dengan di batalkannya keanggotaan dia dari Kappa.

Merasa udah ngecewain nyokap bokapnya, dendam kesumat sama Rachel dan ingin merubah sistem birokrasi sekolah yang dia anggap udah parah gara2 metode "Greek"-nya Rachel, Sydney melancarkan aksi menentang Rachel untuk jadi senat sekolah bersama the seven dorks itu. Dari mulai kampanye, melakukan pendekatan dengan clique2 yang "terabaikan" di sekolah sampe manas2in Rachel dengan nge-date sama Prince.

Film ini sebenarnya predictable banget. Typically tennage movie lah... menjual cerita Cinderella sana-sini namun di "permak" sedemikian rupa jadi kliatannya story baru, padahal sama basinya kaya She's all that, Never been kissed de el el, seorang cewe yang ngga populer di sekolah yang melakukan gebrakan sehingga semua orang kenal sm dia plus mengencani cowo terganteng di sekolah. Sangat biasa, tp yang menarik - sekali lagi - ya si Amanda Bynes ini... cewe ini asik banget menurut gw. Dan gw sangat berharap dia secepatnya lepas dari image "spesialisasi teen movies" dan mulai coba film2 yang lebih serius dan lebih "classy" dari yang ini.

Good Luck, Amanda... :)

A Mighty Heart

On January 23, 2002, Mariane Pearl's world changed forever. Her husband Daniel, South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal, was researching a story on shoe bomber Richard Reid. The story drew them to Karachi where a go-between had promised access to an elusive source. As Danny left for the meeting, he told Mariane he might be late for dinner. He never returned.

In the face of death, Danny's spirit of defiance and his unflinching belief in the power of journalism led Mariane to write about his disappearance, the intense effort to find him and his eventual murder in her memoir A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl. Six months pregnant when the ordeal began, she was carrying a son that Danny hoped to name Adam. She wrote the book to introduce Adam to the father he would never meet. Transcending religion, race and nationality, Mariane's courageous desire to rise above the bitterness and hatred that continues to plague this post 9/11 world, serves as the purest expression of the joy of life she and Danny shared.

***

Based on true story.. A tragic story about an American journalist for Wall Street Journal named Daniel Pearl who horribly murdered by a group of terrorists in Karachi, Pakistan. A good husband of - also a journalist - a woman named Mariane Pearl were going to an interview with Richard Reid, related to a bombing incident and he would have the complete information about it. But until late at night Daniel hasn't come home, and Mariane starts to worry about where his presence might be. After days, full of effort from all parties [Pakistan secret agent till the government] to find and bring Daniel home. But unfortunately he cannot be saved, and he was murdered by the terrorists... he was beheaded.

Angelina's roles here are very.. VERY Oscar-worthy. She can speak in France accent perfectly! So much worth to watch.. Touching as well, especially in the end. It shows how danger the work of a journalist really is [my dream job since I were in the junior high, though]. How journalists should have explicit laws about their own safety insurance and guarantee [especially for the news and war reporters and journalists]. This movie educates a lot...

Five stars, err... for me, it's even more :)

Konser maut

Ngga nyangka gedung AACC, di jalan Braga Bandung tempat gw dulu pernah manggung di acara Beauty In Darkness jadi saksi bisu sebuah konser maut yang merenggut 10 nyawa ngga berdosa, hanya untuk nonton konser launching album dari "Beside". Ini cuplikan yang gw dapat dari Kompas.Com:

"Peristiwa terjadi saat konser akan selesai. Menurut Kapolda, pihak panitia membagi-bagikan minuman kepada penonton. "Minuman itu bau spirtus. Lalu ada penonton yang pingsan," ujarnya.

krisna sumargo: Karena melihat ada penonton yang pingsan, petugas kepolisian yang melakukan pengamanan kemudian memberhentikan konser. Lalu pertunjukan pun selesai. Sebagian penonton mencoba keluar gedung tersebut. "Ketika itulah penonton yang pingsan bertambah," lanjut Kapolda.

Ia menegaskan, tidak ada keributan atau kerusuhan di dalam gedung. "Jadi tidak ada perkelahian di dalam gedung. Saat konser semuanya berjalan lancar. Tapi setelah konser selesai ada penonton yang kelihatan lemas. Karena itu kami minta ada visum. Apa penyebabnya, saya belum bisa jawab," jelasnya.

krisna sumargo: Menurutnya, bisa jadi kejadian ini karena di dalam gedung kekurangan oksigen atau juga karena minuman yang diberikan oleh panitia. Namun, ia juga mengakui ada desak-desakan sesama penonton ketika mereka mencoba untuk keluar gedung."

Coba deh, maksudnya apa coba panitia bagi2in minuman di sebuah acara Launching Album? Kecuali kalo emang sponsornya si merk minuman itu sendiri [which sudah pasti ngga akan dikasih izin pihak berwenang saat mereka ngurus perizinan tempat]. Paling ngga penonton dikasih rokok, minuman juga pantesnya air mineral aja [itu juga biasanya disediain sponsor]. Tapi ini bisa sampe nyelundupin minuman ga jelas ke dalam gedung.

Iya gw tau band itu alirannya hardcore lah, punk lah or whatever yang dengan kata lain so-called "musik cadas", tapi apa gara2 itu terus pengamanan bisa diperlonggar seenaknya? Waktu gw manggung disana ngga ada tuh gw liat botol minuman berseliweran dsana. Kalaupun ada penonton yang mabok, mereka emang udah mabok dari sebelum mereka masuk kedalam gedung AACC.

Tragis... Gw sebagai salah satu pencinta musik sedih aja dengernya masih harus ada nyawa terbuang sia2 cuma untuk nonton konser. Padahal ngga peduli mau sekeras atau selembut apapun musik itu, harusnya yang namanya kedisiplinan dan keamanan dan perlindungan ngga boleh dibedakan. Yang nonton Jazz atau yang nonton Metal kan sama-sama manusia juga, punya hidup punya jiwa. Atau mereka menganggap pengagum musik Metal tidak seberharga pengagum musik Jazz atau klasik jadi dengan mudah kita bisa liat perbedaan jauh dari segi keamanan di konser2 musik yang berkaitan ini?

Innaillahi... moga2 kedepannya ngga akan pernah terjadi lagi ya, Amin...

PS: Semoga arwah para korban dapat diterima di sisiNya dan semoga Allah memberikan keuatan bagi keluarga yang ditinggalkan...

~G~

Paling sebel kalau...

Kalo ada satu hal yang ngga enak waktu menempati suatu teritori dalam jangka waktu yang lama, itu adalah saat akhirnya kita harus pindahan. Paliiiing sebel kalo musti nge-pack dan re-packed barang2, apalagi data2 kantor yang ga sedikit kaya gini. Kalo cuma mindahin pantat dari satu kantor ke kantor lain sih gampang, perintilan2 ga jelasnya ini yang bikin dongkol seleher. Belom lagi kalo data2nya ntar ke-switched [moga2 aja sih ngga, coz gw udah kasih label terperinci di tiap kardusnya]. Karena sebelumnya udah berpengalaman nomaden dari satu kosan ke kosan yang lain selama kuliah, harusnya sih udah lebih tahan banting dari segi tenaganya [buat ngangkut2 barang atau dalam bahasa Italy-nya NGULI..]. Mana orang IMS [yang bantu2 pindahan] nya blm dateng lagi. Huff... Denger2 akhir tahun bakal pindah lagi ke Menara Episentrum yang di Pasfes. Nah kalo gitu, ngapain sekarang pindahan lagi coba?? Bused... Sabaaar sabaar, sapa tau bisa bantu program diet gw sekarang, hihihihi...

~G~

Rain Song

And I adore you in every tears you stream down on earth...
And I fancy your move in a perfect divination
And I feel breathless to see how you cleave the grey firmament
Singing a mermish lullabies chantings
When earth be your choir

And I love the way you make me feel
And I'm longing of you when the sun has a spiritless shine
And I tease you in my bed covered in my blanket
With a cup of hot coffee
And a good novel awaits here

When I can't recall anymore how to express my sadness
I see of how you represent it, and all I can do is just stare at you
You are such an understanding thing to adore, rain...

*Tapi betewe, gimana cara gw pulang kerumah yak? Scarra Kuningan terancam banjir ginih, hiks... [Melihat pasrah keluar jendela kantor]

1408

Adapted from the terrifying short story by suspense master, Stephen King. Renowned horror novelist Mike Enslin (John Cusack) believes only in what he can see with his own two eyes. But after a string of bestsellers discrediting paranormal events in the most infamous haunted houses and graveyards around the world, he has no real proof of life…afterlife. But Enslin’s phantom-free run of long and lonely nights is about to change forever when he checks into suite 1408 of the notorious Dolphin Hotel for his latest project, “Ten Nights in Haunted Hotel Rooms.” Defying the warnings of the hotel manager (Samuel L Jackson), the author is the first person in years to stay in the reputedly haunted room. Another bestseller may be imminent, but like all Stephen King heroes, first he must go from skeptic to true believer – and ultimately survive the night.

***

Overall menurut gw film ini ngga terlalu horor, ngga terlalu menarik. Standar lah... John Cusack emang lebih cocok main di film drama romantis atau komedi romantis daripada horor, dan Samuel L Jackson lebih poll maen film action. Sepertinya ide dasar film ini bersifat twisted dan sick, tapi kok jatuhnya jadi agak maksa ya? Ceritanya ngga kuat, ga cukup "sakit" untuk jadi twisted movie. Gw masih lebih prefer "Hide and Seek" atau "Silence of The Lamb" atau "Omen" untuk kategori film twisted horror dibandingin film ini.

Udah deh, bang Cusack. Maen film komedi romantis lagi ajaa.. Dijamin pasti keren deh! Hehehehe...

Painted Veil

A couple with a broken relationship learns some valuable lessons about love, life, and sacrifice in this romantic drama based on a novel by W. Somerset Maugham. It's 1925, and Dr. Walter Fane (Edward Norton) is a physician and bacteriologist who has become smitten with Kitty (Naomi Watts), the beautiful daughter of a wealthy and socially prominent family. Walter proposes marriage to Kitty and she accepts; however, while he clearly loves her, Kitty is more interested in her reputation than Walter's feelings, as she's recently turned 25, an age by which most of her peers have already wed. Kitty and Walter move to Shanghai, where he sets up a practice and she takes a lover, the British Vice Consul Charles Townsend (Liev Schreiber). When Walter learns of his wife's infidelity, he becomes furious, and impulsively volunteers to travel to China to work in a village stricken with a major cholera epidemic. While Walter's actions are meant to punish Kitty rather than reflect his own benevolence, the daily trials of living in a community in crisis have a striking impact on the couple, giving them a new and deeper perspective on their relationship. The Painted Veil is the third screen adaptation of Maugham's best-selling novel of the same name; a 1934 version starred Greta Garbo and Herbert Marshall, while Eleanor Parker and Bill Travers played the leads in a 1957 remake titled The Seventh Sin. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide

*****

I LOVE NAOMI WATTS !!! Ditambah lagi ada kabar kalo do'i mau ikutan main di film HP 6 jadi Narcissa Malfoy, wuihh... makin seneng deh ni hati ^__^
Film cinta ini ber-setting thn 1920-an, dimana seorang bacteriologist bernama Walter ditugaskan ke China untuk meneliti virus penyebab mewabahnya penyakit kolera disana yang udah makan ribuan jiwa. Sang bacteriologist jatuh cinta dengan si cantik Kitty & melamar Kitty. Kitty - gadis cerdas yang blm pernah dan belum perlu merasa jatuh cinta dengan seseorang - dengan mengejutkan menerima lamaran Walter walau do'i ga cinta sama Walter. Semua itu dia lakukan supaya dia bisa lepas dari jeratan tirani ibunya [karena dia tau Walter akan ditugaskan ke China]. Di China, Kitty selingkuh dengan cowo lain & ketauan sama Walter. Akhirnya Walter merencanakan get even ke Kitty dengan membawa dia ke daerah pelosok China yang jauh banget dari peradaban, sengaja ngebuat Kitty tersiksa disana.
Tapiiii, justru dari situ Kitty sadar kalau suaminya ini adalah lelaki yang paling baik didunia!!!

Kenapa bisa gituh?
:) Watch it, then...

~G~

Forcibly Becoming...

Haruskah aku menjadi palsu?
Saat asli tidak lagi dihargai, maka palsu menjadi senjataku
Aku sedang memasang topengku sekarang
Cantik... Terbuat dari porselen

Dan akankah mereka mencintaiku?
Akankah mereka akan berhenti berbisik-bisik dibelakangku?
Akankah mereka menerimaku menjadi bagian dari mereka?

Baiklah.. Kalian menang!!
Aku telah memasang topeng palsuku
Inilah aku sekarang, tapi yang palsu... mohon diingat itu
Sedihnya aku harus mengalah pada ular berbuntut dan berlidah bercabang seperti kalian
Tapi inilah nyatanya... aku telah manjadi palsu, demi diriku, terutama demi kalian

Puas sekarang?!

I give up, i'll follow ur game now, shitty doofuses!!!

Anathema

She's no longer can differentiate
The darkest truth from the whitest lies
From an oath she's been taken
That will bound her until she dies
She made an unforgiven mistake
Neither she noticed nor she realized

And now she's crawling under your mercy
Her creaky breath is chanting like the sound of death
Creating a dreadful yet astounding misery
That will linger forever in her memory
She is crying with blood streaming
Asking you hopelessly to revoke your curse over her

And she's the angel broke her wings
She's the Goddess lost her mightiness
She's the fairy missed her magic wand
She's the human disappeared her soul
A dark bride with a broken vow
A night queen wearing a crashed crown

She wanders with your eyes, your heart and your mind
She's alive, though so empty inside
You strive her in solely darkness
Until she goes blind and none of her senses left
When the time comes in the coldness of the night
Her remaining shadows will beg your kindness to end her life

Will you let her been chased with her own death?
Playing around in the never ending labyrinth?
Like a little girl playing cheerfully under the rain
The meets her doom in the hand of furious thunderstorm
Her disaffected love be your long-lasted trauma
Ever since, your spell makes her the Lady of Anathema

_G_

Flickering Star

The sky goes black every time I close my eyes
Such a defective silent attacks me in disguise
Cold winter cloud touches my skin
It washes away all my embracing sins
One yellowish little star is blinking
He smiles, he waves and now he's calling
I wanna reach him with these decaying hands
Down here on earth and ask him to dance
And he will spark and I will glow
Keep the trace of passion that grow
A passion that once ever be a brokenhearted
That met her end before it even get started
My life has been a misery for too long
Warm smile of mine long has been gone
Empty is my soul, death is my dream
Hope to disappear along this cracking wind
And he is the falling star, my lucky charm
Hopping once or twice in the grip of my arm
He's the light through the dark
Spreads his wings and flies like a white lark
He came to me with divining motions
He entered me who welcomed him with no resistance
I'm longing for him, reaching my hands in the air
Mourning his lights to fill me in despair
My love, my flickering little star
Stay with me, never get too far

_G_

Dedicated for: Arya Widya Asmara

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

Finally, the last sequel of Harry Potter [Indonesia-translated] has been released in January 14, midnight in all official bookstores all over the country. I myself got the book in the morning straightly after the Gramedia Kelapa Gading Mall was open.

It's about the time when The Chosen One; Harry Potter starts his journey to destroy all 4 remaining Horcruxes of Lord Voldermort so he can seize the possibility to kill Voldemort - who is so close to get what people call immortality life because of his 7 Horcruxes [will be eight with his own entity], there are Tom Riddle's diary [Which has been destroyed by Harry in the Chamber of Secret in his second grade at Hogwarts], Marvolo Gaunt's Slytherin ring [already been destroyed too by Albus Dumbledore, but with sacrificing his right hand], Slytherin's necklace, Helga Hufflepuff's trophy, Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem, Nagini [Voldemort's snake]
and half of Harry Potter's life.

Harry - accompanied by Ron and Hermione - doesn't go back to Hogwarts anymore. He makes some travels to some places such as Godric Hollow [His house where his parents had lived. And later it also discovered the old tale about the three Hallows that can beat death]. The the three fellas continue their journey to Forest of Dean, Xeno Lovegood's house, Malfoy's house, Bill & Fleur's cottage, Gringotts until they go to Hogwarts to find another Horcrux based on what Harry saw in her mind which is connected with Voldemort's.

The battle in Hogwarts is unbearable. Many lives been sacked to death, including the people Harry loves so much: Mad-Eye Moody, Hedwig [Harry's owl], Fred Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Dobby [Hogwarts' elf] and Colin Creevy. One shocking moment is where Voldemort kills Snape in order to take control of the Elder Wand [Voldemort thinks The Elder Wand is belong to Snape, when the fact is that wand is belong to Harry himself because he had beat Malfoy - the former master of Elder Wand]. In dying condition, Snape gives his memories to Harry, and that is the time when Harry finally realizes who Severus Snape really is. Snape never cheat on Dumbledore, that he remains loyal to him even until he dead.

When Voldemort gives Harry one-hour time to think, Harry realizes that he shouldn't sacrifice any more innocent life, he should be the one who fight Voldemort. He himself, not Ron, not even Hermione or the Order of the Phoenix or Dumbledore's Army. So he - silently - goes to forbidden forest to face Voldemort. Before they meet, Harry opened the snitch that Dumbledore had inherited to him and he saw his mom, dad, Lupin & Sirius came out from the Resurrection Stone and encouraged him. Feel a bit secure, he walks himself to Voldemort

And Voldemort kills him with Avada Kedavra curse, but strangely... Harry wasn't die. Why's that so?

Hmmm... I can't tell you more for I know I will throw the surprising thing out from you. So you'd better got to the bookstore and get one for yourself... NOW!!! lol

_G_

Goddess

This sorrowed life I failed to embrace
brought me tears I endlessly wept
the dying thirst for love grew
as I dreamt of a goddess
she weaved my bluish veins
and gathered the pieces of my flesh
my heart now beats again
my eyes now wide awaken
but I craved for her more in every moment
My sight filled with her face
the face I once sought to kiss
her skin was pale like the moon
and cold like my blood
her hair was black like death
and soft like an angel's veil
and in my breath I felt her warmth
impossible to resist
undoubtedly inevitable
Yet slowly I am still dreaming
drowned with my sinful pleasures
but beneath this shadow lies you
my beautiful, tormenting my innocence
when will you lay your hands on me
and take away my sufferings
because if there was a death of a god
will there not be a goddess
to save me again from falling

Created by: Mercurya Gemini
Photo: Iwed

Whispers

My deathless sorrow gives me life
Yet inside I am empty and blind
But winter came like silent whispers
And gave me soul that is unbroken
Winter brought its majestic queen
Forever I am bounded to her love
I chained my will to her desires
Like a frail heart in heaven's arms
Like a dying wish in an angel's breath
Tonight she arrives in my dreams
With her pale face and embracing arms
Bringing dark kisses and death lullabies
Bringing hope and immortality
This void I am shackled to
Is inevitable and eternal
But her shadows clouded my soul
And saved me from my sorrow
And freed me from my curse
This cruel world is filled with such lies
Discontenting and dishonest and much despised
I fail to cease the monolith of sufferings
And in the end I lie in its confusion
But her divine silhouette kept me safe
From the vileness of this tyrannous place
Because home is nowhere to be found
And my sanctuary lies in her
And in her I find a goddess's comfort

Created by: Mercurya Gemini
Photo: Iwed

Betty Boop

Nadia is the name of this super-cute creature. I wish I could have a daughter like this in the future. Oh Gosh I still can describe her face perfectly. She's just the real Betty Boop, isn't she?

lol

Kepala agar-agar

Bunyi hujan DESS DESS DESS !!!!

Gendang terlinga bergetar sampe kepala

Bunyi motor BOOM BOOM BOOM !!!!

Jalan makin oleng...

Mata menyipit

Pandangan mengabur

Ada gempa atau apa sih ini?

Aduuuuh, sakit banget kepala ini!!!

Benazir Bhutto got killed...

Turut berduka cita atas terbunuhnya salah satu wanita hebat sepanjang zaman, mantan perdana menteri Benazir Bhutto. Semoga arwahnya diterima di sisi Allah SWT, Amin...

Masalah ini udah pasti bukan isu agama atau terorisme?

Jadi isu apa ya? Politik kah?


Hmpff....!!!!

Politik ta*...!!!

Pan's Labyrinth

Spain, 1944. Officially, the Civil War has been over for five years, but a small group of rebels fights on unbroken in the northern mountains of Navarra. Dreamy 10-year-old Ofelia moves to Navarra with her delicate, pregnant mother Carmen, to become acquainted with her new stepfather, Captain Vidal, a Fascist officer under orders to rid the territory of rebels. Ofelia, who is fascinated by fairy tales, discovers an overgrown, tumbledown labyrinth behind the mill. In the heart of the labyrinth she meets Pan, an ancient satyr who claims to know her true identity and her secret destiny. But first, she must complete three tasks before the moon grows full. And no one must know: not her ailing mother, or her new friend, Mercedes. Time is running out, for Ofelia and for the rebels. Both will have to battle hardship and cruelty in order to gain their freedom. But, who can be trusted in a time of lies and danger? Is Pan telling the truth...? And if not, who is? [Taken from http://movies.aol.com/movie/]

---

Film ini ga bisa dibilang horror juga. Sama sekali ngga ada serem2nya acan. Yang ada film ini menurut gw sadis banget! Soalnya setting film-nya pas jaman WW II, banyak adegan penyiksaannya daripada adegan horror si Ofelia kecil menghadapi dunia imajinasinya [loe akan bertanya2 deh apakah peristiwa yang dialamin Ofelia itu real atau unreal. Agak twisted gitu kliatannya].

Bukan tipe film yang gw nikmati banget sih. Agak kecewa juga pas nonton. Gw piker film-nya jauh lebih keren dari itu, krn cover DVD-nya “ngejual” banget.

Kecewa deh kecewa. Ngga usah ditonton…

30 Days of Night

For centuries, vampires have stayed in the dark, forced to hide each morning or else be destroyed by the burning power of the sun. But in Columbia Pictures' 30 Days of Night, based on the groundbreaking graphic novel, that's all about to change. Not your parents' vampires, these are eating machines, built for one purpose -- to devour human beings -- and only daylight can stop them... which is why they target the remote, isolated town of Barrow, Alaska, which each winter is plunged into a state of complete darkness that lasts 30 days. The cunning, bloodthirsty vampires, relishing in a month of free rein, are set to take advantage, feeding on the helpless residents. It is up to Sheriff Eben (Josh Hartnett), his estranged wife, Stella (Melissa George), and an ever-shrinking group of survivors to do anything and everything they can to last until daylight. [Taken from http://www.tribute.ca/movies]

---

Modern vampire movie!! I looooove it so much! Visually, it’s a bit sadistic movie. Blood everywhere [yeah, it’s a horror vampire movie, what did u expect anyway?], less part of romance [almost none. Do not expect that u will see the sex-scene in it, lol] and lots of shocking parts. I like it, though… they took the right place in Alaska when apparently they will be facing a full month in the darkness [where the sun doesn’t reach Alaska for 30 days] and suddenly a group of hungry vampire attacks the city. One by one was facing their death. Josh Harnett and friends are trying to survive their lives by hiding from one place to another to avoid those vampires for 30 days till the sun rises again. Until in the last day, Josh Harnett has to change himself as a part of the vampire intentionally to save his wife and the whole remaining citizen from the other vampires [this is the touching part]. Regarding so, he has to face his own painful death in the day after whereas the sun finally rises. He slipped away, with his wife’s hugging him tightly to share the pain he felt [I cried in this scene, yes I did. LOLS]

For you who love to see vampire movie, this might be a good alternative movie to watch :)

A night to remember...

Written on Dec 17, 2007

Huff, I kinda still sleepy this morning and typing these words with eyes half-closed, but I can’t help not to tell about what was happen yesterday when I was in Bandung with my band to perform live on stage at AACC building on a gig called Beauty In Darkness. The gig was awesome and performed also with much much great gothic female-fronted bands such as Bumble Bee, Caresent, Sadie, Geboren, Alfa and of course my band Gelap, lol

The gig that should be held from 3 pm was having a great deal of late till 7 pm. Me and Gelap’s members & crews went from the studio at 10 am and arrived there at 4 pm, a bit late from what was planned to arrive there around lunch time but unfortunately we were stuck at nowhere in the middle of town [none of us are from Bandung, so couple times we got misdirection, hehehe…]. Then we were headed to our hotel to get some rest coz Gelap would perform couple hours after so we could have some chillin time together and could get to know with another bands that were also resting in the hotel. At 8 pm the committee named Putut called us to get ready for the performance. We brought 3 songs; Ashes, Beautiful Stranger and the last was Gerbang Timur. We performed before Geboren and after Alfa [FYI – esp to Ipoel – the new Geboren’s vocalist is unveiled and they just have one vocalist, the former three veiled vocalists apparently had resigned couple months ago. So I couldn’t have chance to compare myself with one of the vocalist who – like sooo many people said – has a very similar face like me, hehehe…].

The crowd was AMAZING!! I never thought that Bandung has a very huge gothic community there. They had a very big enthusiasm to watch female-fronted bands as it hardly appear in stages that we commonly see [esp in Jakarta where Metal music with male-fronted bands are the Gods, while Gothic is not fully appreciated as much as metal]. But there, they did an awesome job to amazingly appreciate the females that tried so hard to prove their existence thru gothic music. It drove my adrenaline and my mood, and the result was our – so far – best performance. We had great applause from the audience and that was the first time I thought that Bandung’s people are so into dark music and appreciate it a lot. I love the audience, I love Bandung!! lol

We performed at 9.30 and finished at 10. Then I hurriedly got back to my hotel because there was still one business to do there; with this guy.

So this guy – as I’m gonna reveal him to u guys – was also performed in the gig last night. His band’s name is Sadie, from Jogjakarta. He’s the guitarist and his name is Arya but people call him Arez. We’ve known each other for the past year, since we first made friend together thru Friendster. He lives in Jogjakarta and he was the first to find me in the net and ask me to make friend with him coz our commonness about fancying gothic music. Then he once gone from May-Sept, and again appeared in my friendster page with definitely different perspective about our friendship. He honestly tried to get into me as he never hides his interest toward me. I – who honestly speaking – had a broken heart not so long after his reappearance was responding flatly but in a positive way I still told him that we still have the chance to make it work. What makes it hard is that the distance. Yes, distance sucks… big time! We together ever had a fail LDR [Long Distance Relationship] back then and it’s kinda traumatized us and it make us made a promise to not to do that LDR anymore. But now it hit us back. We cannot deny the feeling we have for each other yet we have to hold the feeling inside coz we both have this same pessimistic feeling about LDR and we don’t wanna get hurt anymore in the future. So things turned out to be so blurry for our relationship; we’re not like friend anymore coz we’re getting closer each day but we’re not even a couple yet coz of that fvckin pessimistic feeling about LDR that make us build our own invisible boundaries.

Last night, has finally be our very FIRST meeting, face to face, heart to heart, mind to mind. Actually he – again – has been gone from Nov 6 till last nite when we met. First he said about being gone for just a week or two, but after two weeks he still missing and I couldn’t figure what the heck is happening. Last nite, we met, we talked, and he apologized. But did the problem got resolved?

No!

He sleep one nite in that hotel while my band was straightly went back to Jakarta couple hours after the performance. Knowing that I wouldn’t sleep in the hotel, he got pissed. He said he really wanted to spend some REAL quality time with me and chat with me while his eyes looking at my very face, not looking at the handphone or the PC monitor when we’re online. He asked me to stay till tomorrow [today] and he said he will drive me home to Jakarta. At first I thought it was a good idea, but then I realize that my band’s buddies won't agree. They have this morale responsibility to take care of me – the girl in a band, they won’t let me stay with a guy that they can consider as a total stranger. No… my friends are too much care about me. So then I decided to keep goin home and left him behind.

To be honest I didn’t want to leave him that fast that I still want to talk with him coz indeed our problem hasn’t been solved. Apparently he is a very nice guy, although a bit hi-jealousy behavior, but he’s fine… more than fine to me. But our communication last nite hadn’t come to the top conclusion of how we will work this relationship and what this relationship will be named; a friend or a couple. When at 11 pm my buddies finally called me to go home while we were still in the hot conversation. I still remember the last chat we did,

Iwed: trus kamu maunya apa?

Arez: Udah sana masuk mobil… km udah dipanggil Rince tuh!

Iwed: Trus km ga jadi ngomong apa mau kamu?

Arez: Km mau tau mauku?

Iwed: Apa?

Arez: Aku mau lebih!! Hubungan yang kita jalanin selama ini jadi lebih...

Iwed: Define “lebih” please

And he kept silent till Rince shouted my name again and I really got to get into the car. I called his name once again and he remained still in the chair – with a ciggar and Nescafe Latte [Gosh, even we have the same habit!]. So there, I left him alone, I got into the car and left. He sat still until I arrived at Jakarta [he phoned me and said so].

I can’t tell whether I’m happy or sad with this first meeting. I have difficulties to convince him that I have no one that close with me as boyfriend or so [He always mentioned about how much guys are surrounding me and how I could easily pick one of them, and of course I would pick someone not so FAR from me… WTF!!!]. I think I have to build his trustworthiness to me first before making another step ahead in our relationship.

Yeah, our relationship still remains unclear… he still in Bandung now, will leave at 2 pm to Jogjakarta. Still bring angst and sadness coz of my leaving last nite. Well, what can I do? Tell me… what can I do, sunshine?

Huff, an hour just to type this. Oh my Gosh, it was a long blog, doesn’t it? Hahaha…

Conversed

Avowal of yours, for me it was just so deaden

Mystified colors were melted into my pure black eyes

I grounded deeply for knowing that I would remain myself forsaken

Watching some yellowish little fairies flying nicely around the stark pillars

Owning something invisible…

Is like having the unseen wings

Stumbled by a convoluted part that once ever been so simple

I didn’t see it, I didn’t realize it slowly nibbling

Merry!!

Oh merry merry…

Life for me is so cheesy at a time

Is so breezy at another time

Is so dreamy most of the time!

But when you’re now around

Life for me is so scary at a time

Is so horny at another time

Is so snazzy most of the time!

So let me have this cannot-be-owned

Get fantasized with this belly-ticking mind

Though I know this might be conversed

From before

And forever after…

Let my eyes fall down

And my mouth goes up

As long as my heart’s still being here

The one spot where it always standing

Waiting…

Wanting…

And needing…