Glittery hitches, bitterly glitches.

Tough things (should) make me strong and make us even stronger. These days probably are one of those toughest time for us. We've been hit by some unwanted situation several times in a row. I know Allah is aiming His eyes on us now, He is giving some trials for us to intensify our religious foundation and our faith to his Mightiness. I really think that we are being rebuked by Him for some of our negligence and ignorance through these time. Yet in other way, it is showing that He expresses his affection to us. And for that, I thank Him more...

I am recalling tough time we had back then when we were dying to convince people (who were against us) that the love we had was so pure and strong and that we will hold hands together to face the bittersweet realities upon us, to resolve all problems standing in front of us, ready to stumble us down. Until the grip is broken, until death breaks it.

And now, we should do what we already did not so long ago; standing side by side, face up, calm down and ready to withstand the storm of hitches and glitches together.

I have to always remember one thing; We may have big problems, but our God is BIGGER.

باسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

~G~

Kembung.

Saya kembung
Seperti kepenuhan isi
Entahlah apa
Tapi saya merasa tidak berisi
Seperti kembung saja
Penuh tapi hampa
Rasanya mau ke toilet setiap saat
Membuang sisa-sisa kotoran lengseran dari si kembung
Tapi tidak bisa. Kembungnya ngadat
Seperti tersumbat tidak mau keluar
Tidak ketemu jalan keluarnya
Toiletnya pun rusak dan kotor
Jadi makin kembung saja melihatnya
Mau dibuang kemana ini kembung?
Kentut saja susah, bikin makin sakit rasanya
Dan sekarang hanya bisa pasrah
Menunggu si kembung sadar akhirnya
Bahwa disitu bukan tempat untuknya
Mungkin dia bisa cari orang lain untuk dikembungi

Sementara
Saya masih tersakit-sakit menahan kembung ini
Sendiri
Tanpa orang lain harus menyadari...

~G~

♥ Alhamdulillah... I finally passed it! ♥

Woooow! Akhirnya anak gue lulus S1 ASIX juga! What a struggle, man... Setelah dulu hampir menyerah dengan ASI eksklusif (ASIX) dan berniat memberikan Little Rayyan susu formula (Sufor), akhirnya dengan perjuangan, konsistensi dan niat dari hati, anak gue bisa mendapatkan apa yang sudah menjadi hak asasi dia sebagai manusia --> ASI! Oh yeah, buat kalian yang belum menjadi ibu, mungkin berpikir bahwa memberikan ASIX kepada anak selama 6 bulan sambil bekerja itu tidak akan sulit. Oh wow wow wow, wait until you experience it yourself! ;p

Little Rayyan - new born (April 24, 2010)

Menunggu nunggu kapan lahirnya bayi yang sudah ditunggu banyak orang ini. Kontraksi tak kunjung datang, flek hanya keluar sedikit2, padahal senam hamil, jalan pagi & sore, minum air putih sebaskom sudah dilakoni... Tapi baby ini masih betah didalam rupanya. Duh, Nak... Mama ingin sekali melihatmu...

Mama sms DSA-mu, balasannya "Datang saja hari Sabtu sore ini, kita check up seperti biasa. Don't panic, everything's gonna be okay." Sampai di RS Herm*na jam 3, mama senam hamil dulu seperti biasa. DSA mu praktek jam.6, mama dapat bagian di saat jam menunjukkan pukul 7 malam. "Kita USG dulu ya Bu" kata si dokter. Semua oke, ngga ada kekurangan satu apapun, "Yang kurang cuma ngga ada kontraksi ya? Perut tegang pun ngga ada, Bu?" tanya DSA-nya, mama menggeleng. "Coba kita cek air ketubannya ya, kalau masih banyak mending tunggu 2-3 hari lagi kalau ibu bersikeras persalinan normal"

Waktu di cek air ketuban, DANG!!! "Bu, air ketubannya berkurang drastis!! Tinggal 40%. Sorry, we can't wait any longer. Ibu ngga mungkin melahirkan normal, takut bayinya lengket di janin. Kita operasi ya Bu. Lebih baik Ibu ngga usah pulang kerumah lagi. Telepon rumah, minta siapin baju2 untuk perawatan disini. Kita operasi malam ini juga." MY GOD!! Mama belom siap sama sekali. Gimana rasanya dibius lokal? Sakit ngga? Suami boleh ikut masuk dok? Saya kan mau IMD dok, kalau SC masih bisa kan? Serentetan pertanyaan (plus rasa panik gila2an) melanda mama bertubi-tubi sampai mama ngga bisa berkata apa2 di jeda waktu menunggu detik2 di operasi. Mama ngga sabar mau nimang kamu, Rayyan.. Tapi mama juga ngga siap kalau kamu harus keluar lewat "jendela" instead of "pintu"...

23:45 --> Kamu lahir.. Mama teriak ke DSA km untuk segera taruh kamu di dada mama. Tapi kata dokter anestesinya suhu kamu ngedrop drastis dan harus segera di inkub. Mama teriak suhu kamu bisa normal asal mama peluk sambil IMD, dokter bersikeras bawa kamu menjauh dari mama. Mama sukses... sukses GAGAL IMD!! Mama marah banget waktu itu... Mama udah niatan mau nyusuin km eksklusif & IMD itu berperan SANGAT penting buat keberhasilan mama menyusui kamu, but they made it impossible for you to get your rights - my milk - in the first place. Hey, dokter anestesi.. FUCK YOU!!! *hanya bisa berkata dalam hati sambil lemah lunglai karena masih dibawah pengaruh bius*

Pagi hari, April 25, 2010

Mama ngga bisa tidur semaleman, Nak... Papamu tidurnya juga jadi ngga nyenyak karena kasian ngeliatin mama resah semaleman menunggu kamu dibawa kekamar perawatan mama. Mama mau nyusuin kamu. Haduh, sebel banget kalo diinget2 lagi kenapa lama sekali susternya bawa kamu ke mama. Mama cuma berdoa dalam hati semoga suster2 itu ngga ngasih km sufor. Akhirnya kamu dianter ke kamar mama. Iiiih,,,, YOU'RE DEFINITELY GORGEOUS!!! Your nose sucked my attention, boy... Mancungnyaaaaa! hohohohoho... Si suster langsung siapin posisi menyusui, "Bu, kalau bisa ASI eksklusif yah... Ngga ada susu apapun yang menandingi kandungan ASI" kata susternya. Alhamdulillah, ternyata suster2 disini pro-ASI.

Pertama nyusuin kamu, aduh.. tes tes tes... Cuma setetes2 yang ngalir ke mulut Rayyan. Mama sampe ngga pede apa ASI mama cukup buat kamu. Susternya melihat kegusaran mama, kata dia, "Ngga apa2 Bu, ibu beruntung ASI nya udah keluar walau cuma tetesan aja. Banyak ibu2 lain yang sampai 2-3 hari belum keluar loh ASI nya. Sabar aja, yang penting PEDE & relax yah". Mama inget pertama kali nyusuin kamu itu memakan waktu 3,5 jam!! Wow, tangan mama sampe pegel gendong kamu, Cuplis! Hihihi.. Papanya langsung kasih kamu sebutan "Pangeran Nenen", hahaha...

Middle of May, 2010

Kamu mengalami yang namanya Growth Spurt, pertumbuhan bayi yang terjadi sangat cepat. Akibatnya bayi bisa menyusui lebih lama dari biasanya. Seharian dek kamu nyusu di mama. Asal kecopot aja nenen mama dari mulutmu, kamu langsung nangis gila2an. Walhasil mama cuma bisa lepas nenen dari kamu waktu mau ke kamar mandi & salat. Makan? Mama disuapin nenek kamu, dek! Coba bayangin, ahahahaha... Sempet mama mikir, apa ASI mama kurang yah? Makanya km nyusu seharian ngga puas2?

Suatu malam km terbangun dan nangis sampai berjam-jam. Mama takut kamu kenapa2, jam 1 malam mama, papa sama nenek pergi ke klinik terdekat dan periksain kamu. Km cuma dikasih vitamin, tp mama bimbang.. Vitamin? Buat bayi? Emang perlu? Bener ternyata ngga ngaruh, km tetep nangis malam2 seperti biasa, sampai kakek nyeletuk, "ASI nya kurang tuh! ASI km ngga banyak. Anak km nyusunya kenceng lagi. Beliin susu formula aja", DANG!!!! Karena lack of info, lack of confidence dan namanya juga new mommy yang banyakan paniknya daripada calm down-nya, akhirnya mama "termakan" omongan kakek. Apalagi pas kakek dengan sukarela membelikan kamu sufor. Kali pertama mama kasih kamu sufor (dan hati mama pedih banget), kamu lahap banget nak mimiknya. Sampe mama akhirnya yakin penyebab kamu nangis karena kurangnya ASI mama, hix...

End of May, 2010

Dua minggu sudah kamu "tercemar" susu formula, dan mama masih saja selalu merasa sedih setiap kali harus kasih kamu susu itu. Sampai suatu malam, saat biasanya mama udah siapin sufor buat Rayyan kalau tengah malam kamu bangun dan haus, tiba2 timbul pikiran badung mama buat ngga nyiapin sufor buat kamu. Mama ajak Rayyan bobo sambil nenen. Kamu mau, lho! Alhamdulillah... Tinggal mama deg-degan nunggu nanti malam kira2 kamu mau ngga mimik ASI mama walau aliran susunya ngga sederas kalau kamu mimik dari botol. Dan bangun lah kamu sekitar jam.2, nangis. Mama ngucap Bismillah dan sodorin nenen mama ke kamu sambil bisik ke telinga kamu, "Sayang, ASI mama masih banyak, lebih sehat lagi. Biar Rayyan pinter, mimik ASI aja ya Nak", dan amazingly... kamu mau!! Kamu nyusu dengan semangatnya sampe 1,5 jam! Ngantuk mama ilang berganti dengan semangat dan rasa percaya diri. Anak gue mau nyusu lagi!! Aaaahh, senengnya ngga terkira, dek ^^ Lambat laun mama stop penggunaan sufor buat kamu, hanya dalam waktu 2 hari kamu udah bebas sufor lagi dan pindah ke ASI eksklusif lagi. Alhamdulillah, my confirdence raised drastically ever since. Sejak itu mama gila2an Googling everything about breastfeeding. Sampai mama ikut milis Asi For Baby & follow @aimi_asi di twitter. I gained tons of useful information about parenting, nak.. Mama beli Buku "Smart Parents For Healthy Children" dari Markas Sehat. Semua untuk Rayyan, semua untuk smart parenting. Dan perjuangan mama nyusuin kamu juga kamu dukung sepenuhnya. Kamu bantuin mama tanpa banyak protes dan rengekan. Thank you, Rayyan-ku. Pintarnya kamu...

July 19th, 2010

My first day of work (again!!), after 3 months of maternity leave. You can never tell how hard was it for me to leave you at home with your granny & nanny. Di motor otw ke kantor mama nangis inget Rayyan. Mama pengen teriak ke papa untuk antar mama balik kerumah lagi. Rasa2nya ngga sanggup ninggalin anak mama yang masih 3 bulan kekantor seharian. Duh! Bener2 deh rasa itu ngga enak banget! Sampe sehari mama nelepon kerumah sampe 4x, nenekmu sampe marah2 ke mama dan bilang kalo Rayyan baik2 aja dan ngga usah khawatir, hehehe...

Perjuangan pumping dimulai. Mama udah bertekad dari mama hamil untuk bisa kasih ASIX sampe kamu 6 bulan. Mama udah mulai pumping & stok ASI dari sebulan sebelum mama balik ngantor lagi. Isi freezer udah penuh dengan ASIP mama, ihiiy seneng deh! Setidaknya mama jadi lebih pede buat ninggalin Rayyan kerja. Minggu & bulan pertama mama kerja juga semangaaat banget mama pumping. Sehari 3x, pagi, siang dan sore. Seneng liat hasil pumping seharian, mama bisa bawa oleh2 setengah liter ASIP buat Rayyan.

Awal Ramadhan, August 15th, 2010

Mama dapat kabar kalau nenek buyut kamu sakit parah. Udah ngga bisa bangun dari tempat tidur, ngga bisa ngomong dan ngga ngenalin wajah orang lagi. Nenek Rayyan sampai nangis2 terus dan berkali2 bilang mau pulang kampung buat jagain nenek buyut Rayyan. Dan bener, nenek akhirnya pulang kampung. Rayyan sama mama aja, sama nanny aja. Mama ngga sadar setelah ditinggal nenek kamu mama jadi stress. Ngga ada tambahan bantuan tangan untuk ngurus Rayyan. Tiba2 di bulan kedua mama kerja, ASI mama berkurang drastis!! 40 cc aja dua payudara sekali pumping. Padahal biasanya mama bisa dapat 150-200 cc!! Ya Allah, mama kaget banget!

Akhirnya mama curhat sama nenek kamu. Mama bilang mama stress di kantor & stress mikirin Rayyan dirumah kalau lagi mama tinggal kerja. Nenek kamu nyaranin untuk ke klinik laktasi buat cari pencerahan. Akhirnya mama kesana, mama ngga mau tekad bulat mama untuk kasih kamu ASI kandas ditengah jalan. Padahal Rayyan udah mau 4 bulan. 2 bulan lagi sebelum Rayyan lulus S1 ASI...

Setelah ketemu konselor ASI, mama beberapa kali spare 5 minutes di musholla habis shalat untuk relaksasi. Mama berdiam diri, sambil berdoa semoga Allah masih kasih kepercayaan ke mama untuk ngerawat Rayyan sekuat yang mama bisa. Alhamdulillah ngga sampai seminggu produksi ASI mama bisa balik ke semula lagi. Lagi-lagi semangat mama bangkit lagi. Stok ASI yang mulai menipis jadi makin banyak lagi ^^

October 24th, 2010

Yaaaaay!! Hari ini mama seneeeng banget! Akhirnya kamu lulus S1 ASI juga, nak! Haduh rasanya 6 bulan itu lama banget! Tapi di lain sisi juga berasa cepet. Tiba2 kamu udah bisa ngoceh, udah jago tengkurep, bisa duduk, mulai berdiri walau masih dipegangin. Udah bisa marah2 ngomel2 sendiri kalo mama/papa cuekin padahal kamunya minta diajak main. Udah bisa nendang2, jambak rambut papa, cakar muka mama. Bahkan kamu udah bisa tergagap-gagap nyebut, "Ma ma ma" atau "ngga", padahal kamu masih 6 bulan! Wow! Anak ASI emang hebat yah. Mama bangga banget sama kamu, Cuplis. Walaupun rambut kamu numbuhnya ngga rata (hihihi...), tapi setidaknya kamu ngga langganan sakit yang aneh2, ngga kaya temen2 sebaya kamu, anak-anak sufor yang langganan kena flu/demam/batuk/diare minimal sebulan sekali. Kamu ngga. Kamu sehat, lebih sehat dari yang bisa mama harapkan. Kamu hebat Nak.


Jadi, mama rasa ngga salah kalau mama merasa bangga bisa berikan kamu yang terbaik. Hak kamu sebagai manusia. Hak kamu sebagai anak mama, bukan anak sapi. Karena itu, hak kamu dapat Air Susu Ibu.

Mama dan Papa sayang Rayyan, mwah!!

~G~

Aku malaas.AVI

Playing with his daddy. Learning to crawl steadily but he was too lazy and tired to even try it. So he was just moving his head up and down as fast as a second, LOL.

Breast is BEST.

It was what I read on the nursery room at RSIA Hermina, Bekasi when I went there with my Die, my Little Rayyan and the nanny. We went there last Saturday, I wanted to meet the lactation counselor to ask her some important questions about breastfeeding. For the past week, my milk was rapidly reducing, and I couldn't figure out why. Some said about my eating disorder or maybe the imbalance of my meal nutrition. But some others said (and this made sense more than the previous one) that I was being too stressful and tensed.

The lactation counselor taught me the basic knowledge about breast milk and breastfeeding. How to breastfeed you baby, the right position in breastfeeding him, how to improve the quantity of the milk and how to be successful in breastfeeding the baby for the WM (working mom) like me.

It is never easy, to successfully and exclusively breastfeeding your baby for six months and then extended it with the supplementary food until he is 2 years old. Many mothers - especially the working moms - give up in breastfeeding and substitute their babies' demand on milk with formulas. From the five pregnant ladies (were) at my office (and all them have become mommies), only me who's still breastfeeding my son exclusively. Two of them gave up and give their babies formulas, and two others combine the breast milk and the formulas to fulfill the babies' need.

And I swear God, ladies and gents... It is so fucking damn HARD to keep my spirit up high and my commitment to give Rayyan exclusive breast milk until he is 6 months. Still 2 months to go and time suddenly runs so.. so.. slow when it comes to survive in the exclusive breastfeeding thingy! First of all, you need your husband there to support you every time, anytime and everywhere you need him. To make your husband supports you, he has to be the breast milk father first. A breast milk father is a father who knows ALL about the importance of breastfeeding and give the baby only his mother's milk until he is six months. And a breast milk father is so damn hard to find, because most fathers assume that all the breastfeeding thing is mothers' stuff, not theirs.

My husband was one of them, the not-breastfeeding father. He didn't know anything about breastfeeding, he gave all this matter to me (because I'm the one who got BREASTS! Oh please...) and when Rayyan started to cry, he said maybe it was because he was hungry and my milk didn't fulfill his need over milk, so he suggested me to buy formulas!

Stupidly, I was being intimidated too deep (noted that my family was also not a breastfeeding family) that I finally gave up with my spirit and gave my Rayyan formulas :'(. It lasted for almost 3 weeks until I realized of how stupid I am for being too selfish to myself and not taking Rayyan as my priority. I chose an easy way without concerning about his healthiness. Ever since, I directly stopped giving him formulas and collected my self-confidence once more that I am able and MUST be able to breastfeed my baby exclusively until he is six months.

Alhamdulillah, I could do re-lactation to Rayyan with no difficulties. He was so clever and never whined to have some more milk that what I could give to him. And Alhamdulillah, apparently my milk is enough for him. No other thing a mother needs a lot than a full support from her loved ones. I could finally gain a full support from my husband and family after giving them some articles about breastfeeding. Slowly but sure, my mom started to support my activity to pump and to stock my milk a month before I got back to work, so Rayyan still can drink my milk while I'm on work. My mom took care of him while I was doing breast pumping. On weekend, Die took over the duty to play with him. My spirit leveled up and my confidence boosted. It was all from them, the people of my life. Not to mention all my friends from AsiForBaby mailing list. Thanks to them, I could learn and know all about motherhood (Though I never met you, but I love you all, smart mommies!)

Back to work. I felt like I was thrown from my bed to the lake full of starving alligators. They are all chasing at me, grinding their sharp teeth and be ready to eat me alive. I was shocked for how much work I have to do in such a little time I had, and I haven't experience the tensed working atmosphere anymore for three months. How ugly was that? I was pressed down, thrown right and left, jumped up high and BHAM! fell hardly to the earth again. I wasn't ready to face all these rushes at work. That's when I was getting depressed and stressed.

Yet, I didn't notice that until last week, when I had to let go my Mom. She was going to our hometown to take care of our sick grandma. My helper has gone... Thank God I have Turni, my nanny. She's an experienced and neat nanny. She only needed 2-3 days to be closed emotionally with my Little Rayyan. I am so thankful to have her as our nanny. I don't have to be worried that much when leaving him to work. But still, it didn't reduce my tensed and stressed feeling... Until I realized that my milk was reducing. After asking advices from some friends, I decided to go to the lactation counselor to seek for another helper and spirit booster :).

Still 2 months, 2 long months to go before I can say "Alhamdulillah", or "Yay!! I did it!". I don't wanna give up. I won't give up and I must not give up in breastfeeding my baby until he doesn't want it anymore. My milk is his human right. If I don't give him his right, I don't deserve to be called a good mother. And I hate a word "bad".

Hope all my efforts to improve my milk will succeed. Bismillah... I'm sure Allah SWT will help me getting through this noble duty. Of course, by HIS will. I know you will help me God... Help me doing this "jeehad" thing without making any anarchy behavior, LOL.

Bismillah, wish me luck, guys ^^

~G~

Things I can do again post delivery.

I once said that being pregnant can officially bound you in an absolute way, in every way. You have to put your pregnancy above all your priorities and no compromise for it. I was there not so long ago. I had to put aside several of my fave things that could harm my baby. Yet in other way, my baby made me learn to be more tolerant and reduce my selfishness and self-centered as well (thank you, my handsome! Love you sooooo...)

And now, I have my Little Rayyan born safely and healthily to this world. Though I still have to control the dosage of consuming and wearing these things while I am still breastfeeding him, yet I'm now back to be able to do these things without being worried too much. Those are:

1. Sushi.
Yes. I'm sooo crazy about Sushi, especially Tekka Maki and Spicy Salmon Roll. I fancy Sashimi also. They are all sooo delicious and I can't picture myself get bored with those. But ever since I got pregnant, Sushi was forbidden to be eaten by me. Or it should be... Yet once and twice I still ate those foods when being pregnant, LOL. Well, I've said I never get bored with Sushi, wasn't I? ;P







2. High heeled shoes.
I used to be a girl who hated to wear hi-heels. Thanks to the table manner course on the class when I was still at college, I suddenly felt comfort wearing them. Moreover, when at work, wearing hi-heels is like a "uniform" for my girl colleagues.











3. Headbanging.
Stiffed neck is a proper payback after headbanging. But one thing you can't pay is the satisfaction when doing it. I could harm my baby inside my embryo if I did it back then when I was pregnant. But now... It's free!!! ;P


















4. Durian.
The heat produced by Durian made me have to stop munching one of my fave fruits; DURIAN. It's bcoz it could harm my embryo. Several pregnant ladies lost their babies after eating too much Durian and most of them who didn't realize that they were pregnant. And when realized it, it's a little too late :( So yes, avoid Durian when you're pregnant, ladies.















5. Black Coffee.
Did not really know the harmfulness of drinking black coffee, but IMO, black coffee consists of much more harmful substances than other kinds of drinks like tea or creamed coffee.














6. Legging.
It was simply becoz my fat wide bubbling tummy did not fit in with the common-size of legging. LMAO.

And how about you, Mommies? ;)
~G~

Life... Oh life.

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot doot dooo.
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot dooo

One of my fave songs by Desree... Yeps. Sometimes life can make us say "Oh" or "Yeah" or maybe we could just sigh about it. Life is a teacher, a game, a circuit, an insane existence, a roller coaster. Things change, so do people. And mine is one of them.

I never could figure how my life could be in the next year or in the next day. I remember the first time I opened an account here in Multiply, I was just a student and still got lots of academic achievements to reach. It was 4 years ago. And look at me now.

Married. A new mom. A good job (Alhamdulillah) and no longer a vocalist of Gelap.  Who could predict that? The ups and downs I've been through. And I can never be any more thankful to Allah for what I have achieved until now.

When the first time I met Die on June 2007, was when I watched his ex-band's gig - Purgatory - at Bulungan with some random friends who - ironically - have been separated now. Only one left to be my purest friend among the rest. Frankly speaking, I never had any special feeling to him. He's nice of course, but that was it. I had set my mind that I will only treat him like my other boy friends. He was (and still is) one of the purest boy friends of mine. Never had any hidden meaning when running the friendship with me. His ignorance yet gentle attitude. His down-to-earth style. His good and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. All of them make me - and maybe his other friends - comfortable to hang out with him. Who knows what will happen to us?

And now he is my husband.

When I was still at colleague, I and my besties sometimes wondered who will be the first one to get married. Those with unclear love status (and it was often me. Hahaha) were considered as those who will get married the latest. With my track record in love relationship, I failed many times. I'm not like Dian, the one who has been in relationship with her boyfriend (and now has become her husband) for 10 years! Or I'm not like Rae, the most picky girl I've ever known. For 6 years in colleague, she never had a boyfriend. Just a lil crush to this boy and a bit flirting to that man... But none left on her heart until she met Sidi, her husband now. Me? Oh, the dumb ass adventurer who will always ended up alone and broken. Yeah, I don't belong to hurt but belong to be broken (damn!).

Yet apparently, I was the second person among my six besties who found my soulmate and got married.

When being offered a job in my office at 2007, I didn't have a good feeling that I could improve my career here, regarding that the company I am working for is one if the biggest companies in Indonesia. At that time, I still studied at colleague and put my work as my second priority, because I still had to finish my final paper in order to graduate. Let alone the love relationship. Ever since I broke up with my serious ex-bf in 2006, I never... I repeat, I NEVER met a good man. I met lots of them, flirted and dated some of them, but they are all jerks. Until I met Die on 2007. So fuck romance at that time. I put my priority to my final paper and in improving my career. The first position I came into was being a receptionist. Not much work to do, did not have to go overtime, but had to have a big BIG heart and a wide WIDE smile. I didn't complain anyway, with a loose job, I could sneakingly do my final paper while at work. And Alhamdulillah I could do it. Who knows that in the next month the HR Manager offered me for another position?

And now I have become the secretary of a Chief Communications & Administration Officer and do several stuffs of Public Relations duties, my field of expertise.

I love music. I do sing and I played guitar a bit in high school. I always  desire to have a band. I have been in several bands until now. Pop, alternative and the latest was progressive gothic metal. I firstly met this (used-to-be) friend of mine at Senayan on June 2007, when we were watching a metal gig. She just formed a new band named Gelap then she gave me their single titled "Ashes". Frankly speaking, I did love the song. Not so long after that, she came to me and asked me to follow the audition for the second vocal in her band. Surprisingly, I was looking for friends to form a band after I graduated. Felt like fate, or maybe it was, I joined Gelap on July 2007. Lots of gigs, lots of new friends from the scene, lots of upsets for the jaded fee or the jaded gig committees, lots of member and manager changing. Who knows what will happen 3 years later?

I was disbanded from the band for - IMO - purely personal reasons from her. I decided to cut  all form of relationship with her ever since.

Several years ago, I always thought that having kids is a disaster! Getting married is a suicide (Just like her writing. So representative. Like it a lot, sistah!). No more freedom in this world, my world. After getting married, I and Die had agreed to cancel the pregnancy. We wanted to extend our dating term and had fun as much as we could. But Lord, a motherhood is really a natural sense inside every woman alive, no matter how tomboy, how metal and how independent she is. Two months after married, I BADLY craved for baby.

And now I have the most-handsome gorgeous creature on earth I can call as my child, Rayyan Widi Alastair.

Life. One I consider as a huge game of God. A game I must win. A game I must succeed in facing all the obstacles and booby traps inside it. A game I should find the runaway exit with a ticket written "Heaven" on it.

Life. The most logic thing that often drives people mad and un-logic. When foes become friends and friends become foes. Many things of life we cannot find the answer. It's beyond our competence. It's when God works.

But one thing I still believe in life is... miracle. When nothing else is sane enough to accept, miracle completes it. And I'm thankful for my miracles; Die, Little Rayyan, my besties ,time, heart and wounds inside it.

"Time heals all wounds" -- Kikan Namara of Cokelat.

~G~

Rayyan Widi Alastair.

Born: April 24, 2010
Time: 23:45
Location: RSIA Hermina Bekasi
Delivery: Section

RAYYAN --> From Arabic language means the guardian of Heaven.

WIDI --> From a Sansekerta language means konwledge. It also stands for deWI and buDI.

ALASTAIR --> From a Gerika language means a protector of mankind.

So we pray that our son could become a smart and brilliant protector / guardian for everyone he loves and could bring us - the parents - to heaven, Amin... ^^

Love you so much, my Little Rayyan

~ G ~

- d.o.n.e -

Even a dog knows when is the right time to bark. It does not always loyal and is willing to lick your dirty feet all the time as you wish. My suggestion? Go lick them by your own, dog handler. I'm DONE! \m/

~G~

Rayyan Widi Alastair.

Counting weeks, counting days, counting hours, counting minutes and counting seconds until the day when Allah gives you permission to born to this world. I'm so can wait, and really CAN'T wait... "Rayyan Widi Alastair" My first son. :)

Photo: my 34-week Rayyan in my tummy.
Edited: Die

What was the weirdest gift you ever received?

A toilet paper as my birthday present long long time ago. That was because I often went to the rest room during the class transmission. Just to escape from the class / the lecturer :D

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If you could instantly become an expert at one style of dance, what style would you pick?

Booty-shaking. Not an ordinary booty-shaking, but a Beyonce's kinda booty-shaking, lol

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If you could have a super power, what would it be?

Of course... FLYING WITHOUT WINGS!!! :D

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What TV show makes you laugh the loudest?

Starting from the oldest: The Cosby Show, America's Funniest Home Videos, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Extravaganza, Tawa Sutra and the latest is Opera Van Java :p

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If you were offered the job of U.S. president would you take the job?

Anything related to Politics is so not me. So thanks for the job offer, but yes for the salary, hahaha :D

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sudah makan belum?

Sudaaaah, si Kriwil sudah kenyaaang, apalagi mamanyaa... hehehe

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Do you believe in ghosts?

I believe in spirit. Ghost only appeared once on 1990. Belated Patrick Swayze & Demi Moore, remember?

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